Adoption

Re: Adoption

• butterflygrooves member

  February 2011

  Look into adopting through the foster care system!  We are adopting this way and it's free to us (except for the fingerprinting we paid for).

  I would suggest going through an agency, in my opinion they give more support.  Our agency works with same-sex couples, there are quite a few that we've met!  Where do you live?  I can give you the info for them if you are in the area.

  Two Mommies Healing Hearts

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• ctbride08 member

  February 2011

  Here's a quick pros/cons of the 3 types of adoption:

  1) Foster-to-adopt/government Adoption-
  Pros-Usually you get to meet the child through a number of visits and slowly transition it to your home.There is very little to no cost for the adoptive family.  There is usually benefits set up until the child is 18 and sometimes allowance for post-secondary as well. You can be somewhat specific in what you are willing to accept.  You may have some access to parental records, medical information, etc
  
  Cons- You are not likely to get a newborn to adopt since it takes time (sometimes years) for the child to be available for adoption. If in a foster situation there can be many twists and turns, you may think you will be able to adopt the child but instead a distant relative may come out and instead adopt the child. The younger the child, the more legal risk there is that you may not end up being able to adopt him/her.  There is a high rate of children with special needs. Birth parents do not choose adoption for thier children in this scenario and there are various things to consider because of that.

  2) Domestic Adoption (DA)-
  Pros- Usually a newborn. Costs less than international adoption. Usually have access to parental records, medical information, etc. Matching will often occur before birth allowing some time to prepare. If matched prior to birth (depending on birth mothers preferences) you may be able to meet birth mother prior to birth, be present at birth, go to appointments, etc.  You may also have the opportunity for an open adoption and have the child continue his/her relationship with thier bio parents.
  
  Cons- Failed matches are a possibility. Harder to choose a specific gender. Older children not usually available (can be seen as a pro or con). There may be living expenses, etc that need to be paid. I have seen/heard of some outrageous requests and birth parents scamming agencies.

  3) International Adoption (IA)-
  Pros- Fewer failed matches. Can specify age and gender desired. There are many countries where children desperately need to be adopted.

  Cons- Costs most (usually). Each country has its own set of rules. Not likely to get a newborn.  May have severe health/emotional concerns. Usually have very little access to parental records, medical information, etc. Can require lengthy stays out of the country. More legal elements required to be able to bring the child back to your country.  Also, this is a biggie, most countries do not allow adoption by same sex parents (to get around this, some couples chose to have one person adopt as a single parent).

   

  In terms of cost, your lowest will absolutely be foster to adopt.  However, it comes at a big emotional toll - you must be willing to put your heart out there for a child that may be removed from your home.  Also, if you are not willing to accept any legal risk (ie. only interested in adopting from foster care, not actually fostering), the wait may be very long.  Domestic adoption is approx $25k depending on your area.  AA or mixed race adoptions are lower ($15-20k).  International adoption starts around $25k and goes waaaay up from there. There is also currently a government sponsored adoption tax credit of approx $13k which could help offset your costs if renewed.

  In terms of finding an agency willing to work wiht same sex couples - it will depend on your area, but generally it is not an issue. What may come up, though, is a longer wait time for a match in domestic adoption since the birth parents choose thier adoptive parents and not all birth parents would be willing to consider a SS couple.

  Check out the book Adoption for Dummies for a more in-depth look at the options and figuring out whats best for you. 

  Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
  

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• alex71

  February 2011

  Thank you for the advise . We live in Chicago

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