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High-Risk Pregnancy
aprilsarahjune
member
unwanted company during bed rest?
aprilsarahjune
member
A lady from my parents' church really wants to come visit. She didn't so much ask if it would be okay to visit but rather asked when would be a good time. She has never been to my house, and I don't usually talk to her when I attend church with my parents. It is a 3 hour round trip for her to come.
I was coming to terms with the idea (I don't want her to come but I don't want to be rude), but then she sent me a Facebook message saying that she hopes I don't mind people touching my belly because she is going to do it anyway. At my husband's suggestion, I sent a message telling her that unfortunately touching my belly can cause contractions (one of my hospital discharge papers did actually say that) and that constant contractions are adding to my cervix issue.
She is unable to have kids herself and gets a lot of pleasure out of helping and visiting pregnant women. I don't want to take that pleasure from her. What would you do? Take one for the team?
*Siggy warning - loss mentioned*
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
This discussion has been closed.
Re: unwanted company during bed rest?
Yuck. I would not like to be you in that situation! I'm like you in that I don't like to hurt people's feelings, but at the same time, you kinda have a get out of jail free card... You're sick (kinda). Maybe you could send her a FB message that says something like:
Dear Mrs. So and So,
You are so sweet to think of driving all the way out here to visit me. I'm truly flattered that you care! Thank you! I must say, however, that I haven't been feeling up to a visit much. Being on bedrest leaves little inspiration to get dressed or do anything with my hair and I'm afraid it would cause more stress for me than relaxation, which my Dr. says is paramount in my condition. Not to mention our house is a wreck as I can't clean and my sweetr husband is doing the best he can, but it is still embarassing for me to let people see our house like this.
Again, thank you so much for offering to come, but I think it would be better if we postponed a visit until after the babies arrive.
Blessings,
Aprilsarahjune
At least in a FB message she can't argue until you have your whole point across?
If you're not comfortable, just be honest and I think she'll understand.
My coworkers wanted to visit me in the hospital and I just wasn't comfortable with the idea, and said I wasn't ready for visitors.
Preemie ID DDs; then DS; then natural M/C; now due 10/17
High risk for pre-term: weekly Makena injections
I'm sure that part of the reason this woman wants to come and visit is simply because she's sure that you're bored and lonely being on bedrest and is probably thinking she's doing a good thing by providing you with some companionship. If you let her know that the visit would cause you more stress than comfort, I'm sure that she'll understand. I agree with PP that if you send her a message back and explain the situation and that you're just not feeling up to having company, she'll be okay with it (hopefully!)
If she insists and you don't want to flat out tell her not to come, could you suggest that maybe she come with your mother on one of her next visits? That way, it wouldn't be quite so uncomfortable for you and you can get your mom on board with the no belly touching policy ahead of time so that you'll have someone there to back you up. Good luck! It sounds like an awkward situation either way!
I like this, except I'd be careful how you word the part about the house being a wreck. She will be pushing to come clean your house