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February 2011 Moms
2nd time mommies-help me, I am so sad.
DD has been so challenging. I know this is a big change for her too, and I know that there is an adjustment period so PLEASE don't tell me the obvious.
What I am asking is will she get back to "normal?" I walk on egg shells around her, she has a tantrum/meltdown/fit at every.single.thing. Not just a little fit but like a full blown, the neighbors down the block might call 911 tantrum. If I put her fork on the wrong side of the plate she melts down, if I walk up the steps too fast/slow, she has a melt down, if her sock feels "funny" she has a melt down...
Please tell me it will get better. I know I am emotional right now but this has me in tears. I feel like a failure of a mother to her, like she thinks she HAS to do this to get any attention at all. I have done special dates with her, spend extra time with her, cuddle her etc. but nothing seems to help, if anything it seems to be getting worse.
I need reassurance please..I feel so sad.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 2nd time mommies-help me, I am so sad.
How old is DD?
You're not alone! My DS has been having a very hard time as well. He is great around the baby, but like your DD, he gets so frustrated and upset at little things during the day. The biggest challenge for us has been that he does not want to go to sleep, either for nap or for bedtime and he's been waking up in the middle of the night crying.
I asked the pediatrician about it at the baby's 2 week appointment last week, and he said it's all very normal. I'm trying to give DS1 as much attention as I can, but he's just super-emotional and so am I, so it's hard. It will get better for all of us, it's just so hard right now.
Good luck. I'm terrified of my 2 year old and the baby isn't even here yet. In the last week he has toppled the PNP and last night climbed in the bassinet part of the pack and play.
When DS#2 got here, DS#1 was 3.5 and so good we didn't really have to worry too much. Now with my crazy #2, I think I'm going to have to wear DS#3 all the time so that I can feel like he's safe + be able to rescue DS#2 from whatever stupid stuff he's getting into. Our house is "babyproofed" but seriously, this kid would climb to the roof if he could find a way.
Ok well you and I are now good friends
I may have to cry on your shoulder every once and a while then. Feel free to do the same!
Strimble-check your gmail that I sent a message to a while back.
Ladies I am sitting here crying while I read this. It is so reassuring that you are going through the same things. I just cry and cry though! I love DD SO much and I want her to be happy but I have been so mean right back to her. I am acting like she is a teenager and treating her like one. Today she bit me and I almost bit her back.
The other night when we were cuddlying in bed she asked me to say "thank you Jesus for keki". I about lost it...we sometime lay in bed and thank Jesus for everything in our life, she wanted me to be thankful for her. (we call her Keki)
I can't stop crying right now.
ok now I am bawling!!! I am so glad I am not the only one. Charleigh tried to swat at me two nights ago and that is what started our first big fight. She has never done that but she was so angry. I was shocked and so saddened by it. I almost swatted her back too but knew she didn't mean it. Hugs girlie.
Ok let me try to find my password to gmail, if not I will send you my work email on Facebook k??
I can't stop crying. I feel like I am failing DS. I was downstairs feeding DD and heard him say...I want my mamma. That started the pp waterworks, and they really haven't stopped. DH is on vaca this week, but I am so nervous that I won't be able handle things on my own. I am scared to not have enough time and patience with DS. He is an angel, but he is still a two year old.
ladies, as a mother of 2 children who are 17 months apart, i can tell you with certainty that this gets better.
your first child needs to figure out his/her new normal. It might take a while. When my first DD came home from the hospital, my son acted out like that for about 5 months. By the time she started sitting up and being able to laugh at him more, he found his new normal- he'd do (and still does) anything to make her laugh. Your first child needs to find out where they place now. Keep doing what you're doing with giving them personal time, little dates with them, etc.- it'll reassure them as time passes that they have a place with you and that they haven't been replaced.
Ladies, you're all doing great. You're doing what you can to help them transition into a new family configuration, but the rest is up to them. They can figure it out even as young as a year and a half, it'll just take time.
By the time you get to no. 3 (if you do) the older two will have each other to keep company when the new baby comes around. By the time you get to #3, you already know what will help your other children and at least your oldest will be able to adjust fast.
It totally does get better ladies.