PPD — The Bump
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PPD

So, I am having a hard time. I finally let it all out to one of my girlfriends yesterday. I wasn't sure when the "baby blues" stopped and PPD was an issue. Anyways, I have made an appt with my dr for next week.

LO is 14 weeks old and I don't feel like I have let myself really enjoy him yet. I feel like I'm always in a bad mood. Poor DH gets the worst of it and I hate that. I just get so frustrated I cry b/c it's something that I feel like I can't control. I also feel like a horrible mommy, which doesn't help. Ugh, I just want to feel like a normal human being again!

Has anyone else been through this? I could really use someone to talk to that is currently going through this or is a 'survivor'! lol 

Re: PPD

  • I don't have a survivor story but I am going through the same thing.  Nora is 15 weeks old and I am still really struggling.  I go into my OB today to finally give into the medication.  I had try to battle it on my own and am not succeeding and to be a good mom to both my girls I realized I really need the help.

     There are a lot of women on here who are going through the same thing, and those who went through it before and are better on the other side.

    Keep your head up, you are a great mom, the first sign of that is that you are recognizing that you need the help.  (Hugs) and just know you aren't alone.

     

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  • I know that I had a mixture of PPD and grieving last time, but I didn't realize the PPD part of it until recently. I don't have any advice, but I wanted to wish you luck.
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  • Sarahann, LMK how your appt goes.  I need to make one for next week. 

    I'm not sure what I am going to tell the doctor other than I feel like &*#$%^ all the time. 

    So, Kelly, you are not alone. 

  • I had Sam on a Monday and was released from the hospital that following Friday.  That Sunday, I had a major breakdown and could not stop crying.  My parents were in town and I was seriously thinking about leaving Sam with my husband and going home with them.  I just did not want to be here.  I didn't have feelings of hurting myself or the baby but I just did not want this to be my life.  Does that make sense?  That next Monday morning, I called my OB who saw me immediately.

     I've been on meds since that day and feel much better.  I still have periods of depression b/c I feel I could be bonding more with Sam and that I'm not a good mom.  I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I quit my job, moved to a new state where I have no friends and then had a baby all at once.  It was just too overwhelming.  I still struggle but think I'll always have a bad day here and there.  At my last appt, we talked about increasing my dosage but I'm trying to make other changes to help with the depression (i.e. working out, getting out of the house more, talking through stuff with DH) so that I don't have to increase my dosage but I certainly won't hesitate to call my OB if I don't feel that these changes are working.

     Hang in there.  I definitely agree with PP that the best thing is that you recognize that you need help and are seeking help.  All my OB and the counselor who called to follow up with me kept saying was that so many moms go through this but a lot of them never seek help and try to struggle through it on their own.

    Sorry for the long post.  Feel free to PM me if you feel like talking.  Lots of hugs to you!

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  • You're not alone.

    I didn't "own up" to it until Ella was around 8m, and I immediately wished I would have talked to my doc sooner. I didn't end up needing meds but have the prescription if I ever do need it.

    I'm really glad you're talking to someone - it's the best thing you can do for yourself! It will get better!

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  • I also wanted you to know that the counselor said that you can tell the difference between baby blues and PPD b/c with baby blues, when you make changes to help the situation like get a few hours more of sleep, you gradually feel better.  She said with PPD, you will feel worse or depressed no matter what changes you make.  I don't know if that makes any sense but wanted to share what she told me.

     

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  • I haven't gone through it myself, but I hope you can find the help you need.  T&P!!
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  • I know for sure I had the baby blues and it was horrible.  I cried constantly and would be upset if my mom or DH had to leave to go to work or go home.  I just felt like I couldnt handle taking care of a newborn on my own.  Didnt help that DS was born in November which is considered a "dark month" ....not much sunlight and trapped inside almost my entire maternity leave.  I feel like once I went back to work and got into a routine I had a grip on it but now that we are back into the winter months I feel a bit of depression feeling again but I feel like this is normal and I may mention this to my OB next week when I go for my annual.  I just really dont want to go the medication route if I dont have to.
  • image jands01:

    I also wanted you to know that the counselor said that you can tell the difference between baby blues and PPD b/c with baby blues, when you make changes to help the situation like get a few hours more of sleep, you gradually feel better.  She said with PPD, you will feel worse or depressed no matter what changes you make.  I don't know if that makes any sense but wanted to share what she told me.

     

    That makes sense. That, and time. My OB said baby blues are present in the weeks or first couple of months after the baby is born, but it slowly goes away over time. PPD doesn't get better with time.

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  • i don't have much more to add other than i'm glad you speaking to your physician about it. and that depression sucks big ol' donkey ballz.

    personally, my depression kicks up a couple notches from december - march with january and february being the worse months. i just wann crawl into a hole and not come out until the end of april! 

    thank goodness for meds and a husband/kids/family who understands my funk!

  • :::Raising both hands high:::::

    After sort of being forced (ok, strongly encouraged) by my OB to try meds for PPD after E was born (I was crying every day, and every visit), I realized I probably needed help with J, but didn't know it and didn't get it. 

    Page me, PM me, start a convo on the other board, or whatever you need to do if you want to talk.  You're definitely not alone, and it's so darn confusing and taboo and scary and crazy to talk about with ppl who haven't been though it. 

  • I know exactly how you feel. I knew to be aware of PPD/PPA before I had DS, but even then I wasn't prepared for everything that I felt/thought. Luckily I got help quickly, but I still struggled for a long time. For about the first 6-9 months of DS's life, I felt like I was in a fog. I feel like I completely missed the first 3 months...I was a zombie. I am much better now and while I still have some struggles, I feel like I am seeing much clearer and am much happier. motherhood didn't seem to come naturally to me and I felt so guilty about that. But now I know that it was the PPD/PPA and not just 'me.'

    ((hugs)) I am here to talk if you ever need someone!! You can message me on FB or email me (find my email on FB).

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