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I just want to feel better!!!!!!

srbmvpsrbmvp member
in Postpartum Depression

Ugh, I need to vent. I'm struggling so bad right now, I feel like I'm drowning.

It's only been about a week or so since I upped my Effexor, and I just started taking a complimentary pill that my dr. prescribed on saturday. So far, I don't really notice a difference. Well, maybe I do, towards evening I start feeling normal again, but the mornings are hell. I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to get myself or DS ready for work/school, I don't want to go to work, I just want to hide in bed.

I'm having trouble sleeping and eating. I am so tired, and I don't know if it's the depression doing it, or the fact that I really am this sleep deprived. I can't enjoy what little time I have with my son outside of work. I hate work, it stresses me out like it never used to.

My husband confided to me today that he is having trouble dealing with my depression, it's wearing on him. I feel like the biggest sh** after hearing that, the last thing I want to do is pull my loved ones down into this horrible place. I just want to feel better and I don't know how to.

I do have an appointment with a counselor on Wednesday. Going to try the therapy thing and try and get better. That's all I want, is to feel better..... please, please let me feel better.

Thank you for listening.

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Re: I just want to feel better!!!!!!

  • jedigurl777jedigurl777

    I am so SO sorry.  I think I posted to you yesterday regarding your effexor change.  Unfortunately you really have to give that more time.  The fact that you are having even a glimpse of normality in the evenings is something to hope in.  It will improve!  Those good times will get better and better.

    I am so ANGRY to hear what your DH said.  He didn't give birth, he isn't going through this.  He has no f***ing clue and absolutely no right to put more pressure on you.  You do not deserve that!  You need support right now.  You can not help what you are going through.  It is not your fault.  If you had high blood pressure, would that be your fault?  NO!  Neither is this.  You can not let yourself feel like sh** because HE is acting like one.  Reject that.

    Yes, you owe it to DH and your baby to get counseling, be proactive with meds and do your best to get better - and you are doing all of that!  But you are not superwoman.  These things take time. 

    If your DH is going to be a jerk about it, please try to find other family or friends who can help you out during this time.  Its really important to get a support system in place.  It WILL get better. 

    TTC #2 since 12/2010 Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • srbmvpsrbmvp member

    I should have written more about my husband, I'm sorry for giving the wrong impression. He isn't being a jerk, the opposite, he is going out of his way to try and make me feel better. But he's at a loss and it's weighing on him. We are going to get help together, I don't want my depression making him depressed too...

    Thank you so much for your words of support!

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • ladipaleladipale member

    Big hugs... I know how you feel. I haven't been prescribed meds yet, but I'm ready to feel better.  I'm ready to enjoy my little girl

    and my DH has been amazing, but I know it must be wearing on him as well, and I feel bad about that, so I know how you feel on that end as well. 

    **** TW - kids and loss mentioned ****
    ~~ married 8.11.07
    ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
    ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
    ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
    ~~ BFP4 10.27.16  MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
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  • rosesandpeoniesrosesandpeonies member
    I have been dealing with anxiety (not depression) since I was little.  My husband has had to deal with it since he has met me.  It can be very difficult because I will obsess on one thing and ask him over and over if i should worry about it, etc., and I get much worse after I am pregnant and have the baby....I worry over every little thing and have trouble getting past it.  I actually have more problems in the evening hours around 4-7pm.  It can be very difficult for spouses to deal with.  Just listen to him, and explain to him how you feel.  I also call my parents a lot if I am worrying about something just to talk to someone else so I don't drive my husband nuts.  I am sorry you are still struggling.  It is sooo difficult and it is hard to explain it to someone that has never felt it.  You are going to feel better!  It just takes some time and do not force yourself.  take it one moment at a time! 
    DD (8/12/09), DD (2/8/11)
    BFP 12/16/14| EDD 8/19/15 |MMC 1/15/15 (9 weeks 1 day)
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