yep, another kelso related post.

PiRSquared330 · February 2011

Cause I'm special and want to start my own.

I don't get it. If people are really concerned for her, they have an odd way of showing it. I think what Hotsauce did on 6-9 was great. She shared her story and explained why she is worried for her. But making fun of her for it? Seriously? I get why people are offended by the card, but it went beyond that. If you are concerned, PM her or actually (crazy, I know) act concerned instead of turning it into a pile on.

I normally stay out of this crap, but this is something I take personally. And if she really is in a bad situation, the way it is being handled is NOT helping.

yankeebaby2 · February 2011

Well I'm not trying to help her. I found the post ironic coming from her and would have posted it no matter who posted that card. I feel very strongly about it.

As for kelso, I tried to help her the first time and sent her various resources and she didn't take my advice. I don't know if she was abused or made it up for attention but i know I did what I could.

bumpuser1691848 · February 2011

Tons of people did reach out and gave her advice and what-not on the OP back in August. She completely ignored the advice and married the guy anyway and basically said "he's changing, I don't need your help". That's when (I think) everyone's feelings toward her changed.

bobbyme · February 2011

PiRSquared330 · February 2011

kimandhuck:

Tons of people did reach out and gave her advice and what-not on the OP back in August. She completely ignored the advice and married the guy anyway and basically said "he's changing, I don't need your help". That's when (I think) everyone's feelings toward her changed.

I think if people really understood domestic violence, they wouldn't have that reaction. Its not as simple as "an internet stranger told me to get out so I will!"

If people really think she was abused, then I find some of the responses to her sickening.

PiRSquared330 · February 2011

yankee: honestly, my issue is with those who claim they care about her and yet are mocking her.

DaisyFull · February 2011

yankeebaby2:
Well I'm not trying to help her. I found the post ironic coming from her and would have posted it no matter who posted that card. I feel very strongly about it.

As for kelso, I tried to help her the first time and sent her various resources and she didn't take my advice. I don't know if she was abused or made it up for attention but i know I did what I could.

This.

And I don't think she wants help, I think she wants attention.

The way of the bump is not always nice, but I stand behind that no one was actively seeking her out for flaming. The card was just terrible.

simplejude · February 2011

That card was offensive to anyone who has been through a domestic violence situation. As someone who has been there herself, she should have known that. I don't understand why you think she needed to be handled with kid gloves. If someone is offensive on here, they hear about it. Its a message board, you can't expect people to keep their opinions to themselves about something that personal.

lindsleek · February 2011

kimandhuck:

Tons of people did reach out and gave her advice and what-not on the OP back in August. She completely ignored the advice and married the guy anyway and basically said "he's changing, I don't need your help". That's when (I think) everyone's feelings toward her changed.

It is totally not a black and white subject. If you have ever known anyone in an abusive relationship (and I'm not saying Kelso is or isn't)... It's just not as simple as "taking someone's advice".

I agree with Irish on this one.

ETA: Haha, apparently I can't let the 'Irish' go! Wink

PiRSquared330 · February 2011

simplejude:
That card was offensive to anyone who has been through a domestic violence situation. As someone who has been there herself, she should have known that. I don't understand why you think she needed to be handled with kid gloves. If someone is offensive on here, they hear about it. Its a message board, you can't expect people to keep their opinions to themselves about something that personal.

I agree the card was HORRIble. I have zero problem with her being flamed for the card. I don't have a problem with people calling out her being offensive or flaming her for that.

I have a problem with how people mock what she went through.

anabell0920 · February 2011

kimandhuck:
Tons of people did reach out and gave her advice and what-not on the OP back in August. She completely ignored the advice and married the guy anyway and basically said "he's changing, I don't need your help". That's when (I think) everyone's feelings toward her changed.

If that's the case then why do people keep bringing it up to her then? I keep seeing people say to her those types of things then give her shiit. Is it sad if it's true? Extremly but what does bashing her over it gonna do? If anything just drive her closer to her spouse. If people really cared they would just give advice and try to be there for her if she ever changes her mind. I think it's shiity the way some people are acting no matter how much of a mess she starts.

bumpuser1691848 · February 2011

PiRSquared330:
kimandhuck:

Tons of people did reach out and gave her advice and what-not on the OP back in August. She completely ignored the advice and married the guy anyway and basically said "he's changing, I don't need your help". That's when (I think) everyone's feelings toward her changed.

I think if people really understood domestic violence, they wouldn't have that reaction. Its not as simple as "an internet stranger told me to get out so I will!"

If people really think she was abused, then I find some of the responses to her sickening.

I know it's not that simple. Some people contacted her about their personal experiences and some gave her links to websites that could help her. People who haven't been in that situation stated the common sense thing to do: don't put yourself or your daughter around someone who's dangerous like that.

PiRSquared330 · February 2011

ok so let me clarify: I have no problem with the card call out or flaming. I have a problem with what that thread evolved into: which was mocking her experience.

Flame the hell out of the card, but lets not mock someone else's abuse. Really, its no better than that damn card.

DaisyFull · February 2011

lindsleek:
kimandhuck:

Tons of people did reach out and gave her advice and what-not on the OP back in August. She completely ignored the advice and married the guy anyway and basically said "he's changing, I don't need your help". That's when (I think) everyone's feelings toward her changed.

It is totally not a black and white subject. If you have ever known anyone in an abusive relationship (and I'm not saying Kelso is or isn't)... It's just not as simple as "taking someone's advice".

I agree with Irish on this one.

I agree that it's not simple, and that we probably don't know her whole story.

BUT, I think we are confusing issues as a whole.

Whatever happened back in August, I wasn't here for it. I took issue with her card, and kept it to that. I see the irony, but I wasn't commenting on any of the past issues.

bobbyme · February 2011

mocking the abuse she has been through is not ok, and that's what bothers me. even if she doesn't want help, to mock her in regards to her abuse is disgusting.

I agree that the card is completely flameworthy, however.

DaisyFull · February 2011

PiRSquared330:
ok so let me clarify: I have no problem with the card call out or flaming. I have a problem with what that thread evolved into: which was mocking her experience.

Flame the hell out of the card, but lets not mock someone else's abuse. Really, its no better than that damn card.

OK, agreed.

Two separate issues.

Card = not okay.

Also not okay to mock her for what happened to her.

simplejude · February 2011

PiRSquared330:

simplejude:
That card was offensive to anyone who has been through a domestic violence situation. As someone who has been there herself, she should have known that. I don't understand why you think she needed to be handled with kid gloves. If someone is offensive on here, they hear about it. Its a message board, you can't expect people to keep their opinions to themselves about something that personal.

I agree the card was HORRIble. I have zero problem with her being flamed for the card. I don't have a problem with people calling out her being offensive or flaming her for that.

I have a problem with how people mock what she went through.

I get that. I just feel like she was almost mocking herself. Why would someone who has been in a situation like that post a card making fun of it? If she doesn't want anyone to bring it up or ask her about it you would think she would avoid the subject, not post an offensive card making fun of it.

I agree that some posters took it too far, but I almost feel like she was asking for it by posting that card.

ETA: I'm not saying that makes it okay, I'm just saying I can see how it easily evolved into that.

doremi29 · February 2011

Couldn't agree with you more. I feel like if you truly think that she is in an abusive relationship, compassion would be in order before criticism- and not just one time (referring to anyone saying that they were compassionate back when she was on 0-3)- continued compassion or nothing at all.

That being said, it's the internet and people will treat her however they feel like- regardless of whether or not that's how they'd respond to someone they felt was being abused IRL.

soko987 · February 2011

Here's where she lost me-

In the Valentine's card post, Princess678 posted that she was the victim of domestic violence and that the card offended her. Kelso's response was this:

"...seriously? You could've kept that to yourself since you know this wasn't posted to offend. I try to make people laugh everyday. Sorry. "

Yep. I'm sorry for what Kelso has gone through. Truly. And it is none of my business. But if that's the way that she's gong to talk to someone who simply said ( without being rude) that her post offended her, then all bets are off.

PiRSquared330 · February 2011

soko987:

Here's where she lost me-

In the Valentine's card post, Princess678 posted that she was the victim of domestic violence and that the card offended her. Kelso's response was this:

"...seriously? You could've kept that to yourself since you know this wasn't posted to offend. I try to make people laugh everyday. Sorry. "

Yep. I'm sorry for what Kelso has gone through. Truly. And it is none of my business. But if that's the way that she's gong to talk to someone who simply said ( without being rude) that her post offended her, then all bets are off.

see, I'd flame her for that comment. I wouldn't then mock her for being abused.

greengirl0909 · February 2011

JMO, but I thought when she posted it she was trying to distance herself from it. LIke, oh all is perfect in my world, in fact so much so that I can make fun of this type of situation. A defense mechanism perhaps?

broomy · February 2011

simplejude:
PiRSquared330:

simplejude:
That card was offensive to anyone who has been through a domestic violence situation. As someone who has been there herself, she should have known that. I don't understand why you think she needed to be handled with kid gloves. If someone is offensive on here, they hear about it. Its a message board, you can't expect people to keep their opinions to themselves about something that personal.
I agree the card was HORRIble. I have zero problem with her being flamed for the card. I don't have a problem with people calling out her being offensive or flaming her for that.

I have a problem with how people mock what she went through.
I get that. I just feel like she was almost mocking herself. Why would someone who has been in a situation like that post a card making fun of it? If she doesn't want anyone to bring it up or ask her about it you would think she would avoid the subject, not post an offensive card making fun of it.
I agree that some posters took it too far, but I almost feel like she was asking for it by posting that card.
ETA: I'm not saying that makes it okay, I'm just saying I can see how it easily evolved into that.

I'm with Jude on this one. It's not like someone posted that picture and said, "Hey, Kelso! Happy Valentine's Day!" She posted it herself, which was surprising and tacky.

Mocking domestic violence is not cool, but she herself is the one who mocked it with the OP.

DaisyFull · February 2011

guppysown@yahoo.com:
JMO, but I thought when she posted it she was trying to distance herself from it. LIke, oh all is perfect in my world, in fact so much so that I can make fun of this type of situation. A defense mechanism perhaps?

Could be. Defense mechanisms aren't always appropriate, that's for sure.

Just ask my sense of humor.

curlychic · February 2011

I went to take a shower and came back to see this. What the heck happened? Can someone give me a linky?

lildevil968 · February 2011

mommy2BinMD:
I went to take a shower and came back to see this. What the heck happened? Can someone give me a linky?

Here's the link to what started it all.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/49209889.aspx

Unknown · February 2011

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DaisyFull · February 2011

McRib:
OP, I totally agree. The attack is unnecessary as is the gang mentality on these boads. I have been a victim of DV and I did not find the card particularly offensive. Certainly not offensive enough to gang up on someone and yes, drive her closer to the spouse in question. You don't just up and walk away from a DV situation. Sometimes it takes years and it does not matter how strong you are or how many people give you E advice. It's a complex situation and those of you who work with victims should know that and let it go. She will get help now or never, that's up to her, but taunting her is not helping anyone including yourselves.

I don't understand what you mean by this.

Unknown · February 2011

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Unknown · February 2011

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curlychic · February 2011

lildevil968:

mommy2BinMD:
I went to take a shower and came back to see this. What the heck happened? Can someone give me a linky?

Here's the link to what started it all.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/49209889.aspx

Holy crap! That girl is a little messed up in the head. And in serious denial. I understand that DV is a horrible situation to be in. Unfortunately, until she is ready to recognize that there is a problem, she will probably do nothing about it. What worries me more than anything else is the fact that her LO will be raised in that environment.

Oh, and the card was extremely inappropriate.

robinsokj · February 2011

McRib:
McRib:
DaisyFull:

McRib:
OP, I totally agree. The attack is unnecessary as is the gang mentality on these boads. I have been a victim of DV and I did not find the card particularly offensive. Certainly not offensive enough to gang up on someone and yes, drive her closer to the spouse in question. You don't just up and walk away from a DV situation. Sometimes it takes years and it does not matter how strong you are or how many people give you E advice. It's a complex situation and those of you who work with victims should know that and let it go. She will get help now or never, that's up to her, but taunting her is not helping anyone including yourselves.

I don't understand what you mean by this.

I mean A. I am kinda losing respect for some people by watching their posts and B. Karma is a B%6*h

Because i told someone her post was offensive that means karma is going to get me in a biitchy way?

Awesome.

Unknown · February 2011

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mrsfox1369 · February 2011

McRib:
McRib:
DaisyFull:

McRib:
OP, I totally agree. The attack is unnecessary as is the gang mentality on these boads. I have been a victim of DV and I did not find the card particularly offensive. Certainly not offensive enough to gang up on someone and yes, drive her closer to the spouse in question. You don't just up and walk away from a DV situation. Sometimes it takes years and it does not matter how strong you are or how many people give you E advice. It's a complex situation and those of you who work with victims should know that and let it go. She will get help now or never, that's up to her, but taunting her is not helping anyone including yourselves.

I don't understand what you mean by this.

I mean A. I am kinda losing respect for some people by watching their posts and B. Karma is a B%6*h

I hope you realize what you said and how it's being taken.. a lot of people weren't there to attack her.. I don't even know who the heck she is and I almost posted on it [but it died down and I wasn't going to beat a dead horse] because the picture was ridiculous and offended me. Saying Karma is a B**ch is insinuating that something bad will come back and happen to the people who commented on the post.

lpstl · February 2011

I'm beyond disgusted by that entire post. The card is messed up, but bringing up OPs history with abuse to get in a dig is flat out fvcked up. I can't imagine how that poor girl is feeling right now. No one deserves to have their abuse thrown back in their face, much less over some ridiculous ecard.

kmick · February 2011

I'm a little late here but I just have to say that whether she lied or not about her OP, writing word for word how her husband abused her made me cringe and almost cry. Is it ok to lie? No, but imagine how she felt reliving that in the post. We have all done/wrote things that we want to just completely block out of our heads. I agree she should have been flamed for her post but that was a little harsh.

yankeebaby2 · February 2011

kmick:

I'm a little late here but I just have to say that whether she lied or not about her OP, writing word for word how her husband abused her made me cringe and almost cry. Is it ok to lie? No, but imagine how she felt reliving that in the post. We have all done/wrote things that we want to just completely block out of our heads. I agree she should have been flamed for her post but that was a little harsh.

who wrote it out word for word?

kmick · February 2011

yankeebaby2:
kmick:

I'm a little late here but I just have to say that whether she lied or not about her OP, writing word for word how her husband abused her made me cringe and almost cry. Is it ok to lie? No, but imagine how she felt reliving that in the post. We have all done/wrote things that we want to just completely block out of our heads. I agree she should have been flamed for her post but that was a little harsh.

who wrote it out word for word?

broomy I think? Its on the 2nd page

lite-bright · February 2011

I agree with you, Irish. And with lmp.

broomy · February 2011

kmick:
I'm a little late here but I just have to say that whether she lied or not about her OP, writing word for word how her husband abused her made me cringe and almost cry. Is it ok to lie? No, but imagine how she felt reliving that in the post. We have all done/wrote things that we want to just completely block out of our heads. I agree she should have been flamed for her post but that was a little harsh.

You're right, and I've sent a PM to Kelso to apologize.

Want a personalized experience?

yep, another kelso related post.

Re: yep, another kelso related post.

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