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Hating how negative my posts have been lately...

keliserkeliser member
in Trouble TTC

But I'm sooo just down. At work, and one of our stations is near my parents house. So I stopped in to visit my mom. We got on the whole TTC conversation and she knows whats going on, but didnt realize how terribly I was handling all this. I broke down crying, telling her that Im not doing well about the whole thing. She told me she wished I had talked to her about it sooner, but she has enough going on. (My eldest, divorced sister and her 2 year old live with them.) I dont want to burden others with my problems. And now I sit, back in my ambulance with tears in my eyes, not looking my partner in the eye because I dont want him to see that I was crying.

This is sooo heartbreaking, but everyone says to stay positive.

Supposed to be a happy and exciting time, and its not right now.

Something I want sooo bad and everyone around me is getting it, but not me.

People tell you to stop thinking about it and it will happen...

Yea... OK.

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer. You all are the only ones who really understand though.

*tear*

 

Anniversary TTC since Oct 2009
PCOS
BFP June 3,2012
Partial Molar Pregnancy :(
D&C July 12, 2012
Forced 6 month break.
BFP January 13, 2013
BabyFruit Ticker
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Re: Hating how negative my posts have been lately...

  • kasey9kahnekasey9kahne member
    Hugs sweetie.  I know how you feel. 
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  • punkymamapunkymama
    ((big hugs)) I am sorry you are having a hard time with TTC right now, I hope you feel better soon.
    <3 Tons of love and hugs to Ricola & Baby Alex <3 <br> MySweetBaboo, IRL friend, always rooting for Baboo #2, love ya girl!<3 <br> 7.7.11 BFP | 3.19.12 EDD | 3.14.12 Baby Girl's BDay
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  • amor_eternoamor_eterno member
    I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down. I went through a really tough time with TTC right around the holidays, and some times you just need to allow yourself to go through your feelings and be sad. It's tough to want something so badly and go through so much disappointment to get it. Huge hugs.
    TTC #1 12.2009 BFP #1 7.2.2011 Baby Girl 3.17.2012
    Cycle 11 - Clomid 100mg + Follistim + hCg trigger + IUI= BFP!
    Beta/P4 #1(13dpo): 94.5/47, Beta/P4 #2 (17dpo): 625/19.5, Beta/P4 #3 (19dpo): 1285/18.2
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  • Ms H13Ms H13 member
    So sorry to hear you're feeling down.  IF can be a very, very difficult road - and one that feels very lonely.  Know that you have friends here on this board who understand what you're going through and friends/family IRL who might not understand, but care about you and wish you the best.  I think everyone on this board has felt really down at one time or another - you're not alone there.  I hope you start feeling better soon.
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  • missbaby14missbaby14

    imageamor_eterno:
    I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down. I went through a really tough time with TTC right around the holidays, and some times you just need to allow yourself to go through your feelings and be sad. It's tough to want something so badly and go through so much disappointment to get it. Huge hugs.

    This.  Yes  And don't let yourself feel bad for being sad.  IF is a ridiculous rollercoaster!  I want to get off.  It's not fair.  Sorry that you are feel so down right now.  Periodically I go through hating everyone in my life that has things come easy...at least it seems easy to me in those moments.  Do something to pamper yourself guilt free.

    TTC since 10/09
    dx PCOS, mild Endo, hypothyroid, MFI mophology
    3 Clomid cycles=BFN
    12/10 IUI = c/p
    2/11 IUI = c/p
    RPL b/w=all negative
    6/11 IVF#1 = c/p
    8/11 Lap
    11/11 FET = c/p
    7.14.12 IVF&PGD+acu+Lovenox=BFP

    **SAIFW/PAIFW**
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  • keliserkeliser member

    Thank you all for the friendly words. Some days are soo much worse than others. I just need to occupy myself with other things. Im going to become a zumba fanatic and work towards my goal of running a 5k this summer. I have walked plenty, but its time to run!

    I really do appreciate the support and hope that I can help you along with your frusterations and troubles.

    I really love you all and your support.

    Anniversary TTC since Oct 2009
    PCOS
    BFP June 3,2012
    Partial Molar Pregnancy :(
    D&C July 12, 2012
    Forced 6 month break.
    BFP January 13, 2013
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
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