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Indiana Babies
arom729
member
those of you that breastfeed
arom729
member
Before you had your LOs, what were your expectations? Did you always "know" that you wanted to? I'm getting frustrated with hearing all of the practical reasons to BF--I get that, but the money part doesn't matter to me. I am just not looking forward to trying it, I just don't get it.
And yes, I want my baby to be healthy. I get that part, too. I guess what I'm really asking is, did any of you really dread this part of mothering? Because I do.
[I don't mean to post and run, but as soon as I leave work I'm heading to dinner. I'll be checking back in later this evening.]
ETA: I keep having anxiety dreams where I'm not feeding my baby properly. All around I'm having increased anxiety. oi.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: those of you that breastfeed
While I didn't feel the same as you (I always knew I wanted to BF and that never changed after I got pregnant or had Ella), I definitely don't think there is anything wrong with you if you aren't looking forward to it. No one says you have to try.
Read this article. It may make you feel better about your decisions, whatever they end up being.
Only psycho lactivists (and not all lactivists are psycho!) would accuse you of hoping your baby wasn't healthy because you choose not to BF. Of course you want your baby to be healthy!
ETA: Don't read the comments on the article.
I went into it with the mindset that I'd try it and that I'd like to do it for a long time, but I didn't want to have any expectations. I really wish I would have read more or taken a class or something because I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Then again, I don't think anything can really prepare you for the real deal though.
I hated it. Like seriously hated breastfeeding sooo much the first few months. I cried I don't know how many times and kept saying I was done. It didn't help that he was born around the holidays and we were traveling a ton and having to breastfeed at other peoples' houses. The reason I think I hated it the most was that I had 2 terrible infections. It was so painful and felt like someone was sticking knives in my breasts. When I was feeding him every 2 hours, I spent the 2 hours after feeding him dreading having to feed him again.
I am glad I stuck with it and I'm still nursing him twice a day now. The guilt though is really what kept me doing it. Which, if I have any advice is don't guilt yourself into keeping with it if you are truly miserable. No one will think less of you and if they do, they're dumb.
Also after you have the baby, join a breastfeeding support group!
I went into it cautious b/c my mom's milk never came in with my brother nor me. I knew I probably couldn't do it long term being a high school teacher--our schedule is totally non-conducive to BF. I had to start supplementing from day 2. She got both for 3 months, and when I went back to work I tried to still nurse her some but it wasn't worth it--she actually weaned herself. I'd suggest renting or borrowing a pump if you don't think you may stick with it.The first week is really hard--painful and one of the most frustrating experiences I've had. That being said, I'll definitely try again with future kiddos. Plus you lose so much weight at first too--I lost all my baby weight in 2 weeks. Granted it shifted around, but I definitely was happy to see the scale where it was!
Ditto Kelli on the BF support groups--it's a great place to meet other moms in your same stage and get help from lactation consultants.
I always knew I wanted to nurse for a whole host of reasons but sometimes I'm still a little freaked by the idea that my body is producing milk. It is an amazing thing but still a little freaky
I always wanted to and looked forward to breastfeeding. That said, I had a sister who I am really close with who her nursed all 3 her kids and always made it seem easy, so I just basically wanted that too. Also, money was a factor in our lives. So, it was the most sensible thing for me to nurse.
Always remember, this is YOUR child. YOU get to make the decisions. If you don't want to nurse that is fine. Babies on formula live great lives and if formula was bad, they wouldn't make it.
~GRACIE JEAN 7-5-08~
I always knew I wanted to BF. My mom BF her 4 children and my sister has BF her 4 children. Plus I work in healthcare, so I'm very familiar with all the benefits of nursing. I really wanted it to work for me so I educated myself about it before LO arrived.
I will admit that the first few weeks were very difficult but I'm extremely happy with the decision that I made to keep going.
I encourage people to BF (for many reasons) but obviously it doesn't work for everyone. It's your body and the decision is totally up to you.
I don't know that I wanted to breastfeed, or didn't want to breastfeed. It was just an "of course we'll breastfeed" sort of thing. I wasn't really looking forward to it, but I wasn't dreading it. I was worried that having my body used by someone else would be triggering for some past ugliness, but it hasn't been at all.
I think that one of the reasons I stuck through the first 6 weeks, which were really rough, was that most of my ILs were sure to tell me that they thought it was nice I was going to "try," but that it's pretty impossible to have a healthy breastfed baby and that nobody would blame me if I failed. (That's their idea of supportive.) And one of the surest ways to get me to do something is to honestly believe that I can't do it.
Once we passed the 6 week mark, it got so much easier. I went from being ambivalent to really cherishing the time that we have together while nursing. It's not always easy or convenient, but I'd call it completely worth everything we went through to get here.
Mother's Day, 2011
I was more scared that I wouldn't be able to do it than anything. I'd heard how ridiculously difficult it could be and I didn't know if I'd be strong enough to keep trying. Like Krista, it was more of a "of course, I'm going to" thing... my ILs basically telling me it was weird was a push too.
I'd really never thought too much about it before I got pregnant. It ended up just being right for our family. It is absolutely no one else's decision to make, so your family (mostly YOU) need to make a decision that is best for you!
I hoped I could, and was optimistic because my mom had such an easy time with all of us. (I have no idea if there's any genetic link though
) I did not have any set expectations or goals, though. I was just hoping for the best.
We had success in the NICU but were not allowed to BF more than 2 feedings per day. By the time he came old he was a month old adjusted. He had been on a bottle for 10 weeks. Needless to say, he had major bottle preference and after hiring a LC to come to the house and crying, we decided it wasn't best for our family.
I did continue to pump, because he needed the antibodies (preemie), but I don't know how much pumping I would have done if he were term.
In my opinion, what makes a good mom is who can recognize what's best for YOUR family. Know your limits. Don't do something because you think you have to. As long as your baby is fed, that's what matters.
Thank you to everyone for your insights! I'm going to read that article in a few minutes. I am partly weirded out by how animalistic nursing is--I know that sounds horrible, and we are mammals after all. I don't think that's all of my fear and if I really was honest with myself it's probably partly because I don't want to fail.
I only have 6 weeks off of work so that will definitely play into my decision. I want to try while at the hospital if only to give the baby colostrum. I will probably rent a pump also. We'll see. I really really appreciate the responses. I hate being anxious; it seeps into every thing I do!
I really didn't want to breastfeed, but it was important to my husband--so I did. I was a preemie, and my mom was on heavy pain killers since we both almost died during the delivery, so I was formula fed. My sister was also formula fed (not sure why), so I never grew up around breastfeeding. I didn't even like the thought of breastfeeding....I thought it was weird.
However, I'm so glad Jason pushed me and supported me. I nursed Claire for 14 months, and it was the best decision I made. I will try to do the same with this baby.
I think when we were babies, there was a perception that formula was better than breast milk, which is why my DH was EFF.
I was worried about BF because I have crappy nipples. However, I knew I wanted to try to make it work because so many people ended up having such wonderful experiences. I found I could BF, but only if I use a nipple shield. This takes about an hour to nurse this way, which you can imagine 8-10 times a days is alot of time. I did love the closeness of nursing, but not really the time it took or the fact that I couldn't be away from the baby for more than a few hours.
For Jake and now Lauren, I became an exclusive pumper. I started out by nursing Lauren 3 times a day, pumped two other times and gave her formula over night. Now that I am back to work, I pump 4 times a day and do not nurse.
I love that I can give Lauren BM because it's helping her get through the winter cold season. At the same time, the pumping schedule is easier for me than if I was BF. Lauren gets 20 oz of BM and 15 oz of Formula everyday.
I only write this all out so that you know that there are many ways to make it work for you once you get to that point!