October 2011 Moms

Rules for FFFC

Alright ladies,

We all have hormones and emotions. We all have our own stress and dilemmas. We have our own rules to live by, and things we need to get done in the world.

FFFC is simply to share WITHOUT JUDGEMENT what we've been annoyed by, scared of, or whatever we're thinking that someone might flame us for. 

If you have an UO, please phrase your thoughts so that you don't pinpoint your fellow October mommies. This confession is not meant to attack. Do you want to be attacked? I don't. I just want to vent my stupid thought that I'm having THE worst gas in my life and am so embarrassed because it's worse than DH's.

You are all welcome to your opinions. Let it be FLAME FREE and let us grow the camaraderie.  We're here to support each other from a perspective that only another pregnant woman can have.

***PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND!*** Do the men in your lives, mils, or other people that give random advice understand why certain phrases like "preggers" could bother you???

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Re: Rules for FFFC

  • Perhaps the FFFC should be restricted to non-board specific issues.  In other words, don't talk about anybody who posts on the board and don't talk about the "general vibe" of the board.  That way it can't be construed as a personal attack.
    J & S~ 06.20.09
    TTC #1 since 10/09
    Hypothyroidism 3/10
    Cycle 17- Surprise BFP! 1/21/11
    When God closes the door, somewhere He opens a window...
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  • That sounds like a great addition! Let's do it!
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  • You realize this is a public message board and you can't create "rules" that are outside of the TOS of The Bump, right? You can certainly provide suggestions for FFCs. But it's a free public message board with specific TOS, and flaming someone doesn't fall outside of those TOS. There is no one to administer these "rules" or to kick someone out who doesn't follow them. They are non-enforceable.

    So sure, throw out some suggestions, but since no one on here is the Grand Poobah of the October 2011 board (or the internet, for that matter), they're only suggestions and people are free to follow or not follow them as they please. 

    Does that make some people douche bags? Sure. But again. Free internet. Public board. 

  • I absolutely understand where you are coming from. And you are very on point. But, we are already dealing with enough of our own issues that we should just support one another and not hate on others.
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  • Since this board will not be a revolving door like many other boards are, it might now be a bad idea to limit it some way. Of course we will never all get along, but I can see it now where people are going to continue to get offended no matter what is said if it's bump related and were all hopefully here for 9 months.

    Congrats Starbuck :y & HHB on their sweet baby boys!
    Lots of love & luck to Mdluv & Zook
    IUI#4 = BFP!!
    When the world says give up... hope whispers try it one more time


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  • I personally really like FFFC. I hope we can keep doing them. As far as keeping them truly flame-free, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, as we can see that some just are not able to do that when someone brings up their hot-button subject. Its sad, because when FFFCs become flameful, people aren't as willing to post interesting thoughts, and they become very boring. 

  • imageFantaIsMyHomie:

    You realize this is a public message board and you can't create "rules" that are outside of the TOS of The Bump, right? You can certainly provide suggestions for FFCs. But it's a free public message board with specific TOS, and flaming someone doesn't fall outside of those TOS. There is no one to administer these "rules" or to kick someone out who doesn't follow them. They are non-enforceable.

    So sure, throw out some suggestions, but since no one on here is the Grand Poobah of the October 2011 board (or the internet, for that matter), they're only suggestions and people are free to follow or not follow them as they please. 

    Does that make some people douche bags? Sure. But again. Free internet. Public board. 

    People are free to follow or not follow "rules" or suggestions.  However, if the general consensus is that we will be cordial and polite and not judge on specified "judgement free" posts, then the ones who do not follow the suggestions will just be ignored.  We are all adults here.  If people disagree with a FFC or take serious offense to it, then they can just start a separate post to discuss it.

    J & S~ 06.20.09
    TTC #1 since 10/09
    Hypothyroidism 3/10
    Cycle 17- Surprise BFP! 1/21/11
    When God closes the door, somewhere He opens a window...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagesweet*pockets:

    I personally really like FFFC. I hope we can keep doing them. As far as keeping them truly flame-free, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, as we can see that some just are not able to do that when someone brings up their hot-button subject. Its sad, because when FFFCs become flameful, people aren't as willing to post interesting thoughts, and they become very boring. 

    I agree with this. FFFC can be a lot of fun. This morning was disappointing in more ways than one.

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  • Don't worry, I will still post about how terrible my gas is and how fat I am without having a true baby belly. 

    Oh, then I'm going to post about my incessant need for soft serve!
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  • The way I always looked at it was if someone had an issue with something I said or did, I would hope they would either PM me or call me out on the board. I've got my big girl panties on. FFFC are more for things that just bother you, usually not geared to any one person. I can see m/s or food posts or whatever getting old by month 6, some may want to talk about that.

    I don't want FFFC to be geared to hurt any specific person or group of people. We're all moms-to-be and should show more class. With that said, it is totally a public board, and anyone (even those not pg, TTC etc can and will post in here). I just have a feeling that there will be a few big girl panties not worn on this board Wink

    Congrats Starbuck :y & HHB on their sweet baby boys!
    Lots of love & luck to Mdluv & Zook
    IUI#4 = BFP!!
    When the world says give up... hope whispers try it one more time


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Hmmm. I am not sure about "rules" but perhaps suggestions. I also think that we should be mindful that we are here to support each other and keep posts in line with that thought process. Its should not be an open door for controversial topics to be put out there "flame free". If you think the comment could incite a riot you should not put it there. Or at least expect that there are going to be a few new posts related to the topic. No controversial topic is ever going to be flame free and we should also keep that in mind.
    DS Born 10/05/99 DSS Born 7/11/95 BFP 05/11/10 - Missed M/C, D&C 06/23/10 BFP 8/3/2010 - Ectopic, Methotrexate 8/17/10 BFP 1/27/11- Please God let this heart beat strong. Beta1 17dpo-314 Beta2 20dpo-883 Beta3 22dpo-1861 Beta4 25dpo-5918 DS2 Born 10/07/99 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he shall be given over to the LORD." 1Sam1v24to28.
  • imageantosh2008:

    Alright ladies,

    We all have hormones and emotions. We all have our own stress and dilemmas. We have our own rules to live by, and things we need to get done in the world.

    FFFC is simply to share WITHOUT JUDGEMENT what we've been annoyed by, scared of, or whatever we're thinking that someone might flame us for. 

    If you have an UO, please phrase your thoughts so that you don't pinpoint your fellow October mommies. This confession is not meant to attack. Do you want to be attacked? I don't. I just want to vent my stupid thought that I'm having THE worst gas in my life and am so embarrassed because it's worse than DH's.

    You are all welcome to your opinions. Let it be FLAME FREE and let us grow the camaraderie.  We're here to support each other from a perspective that only another pregnant woman can have.

    ***PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND!*** Do the men in your lives, mils, or other people that give random advice understand why certain phrases like "preggers" could bother you???

    Thank you for posting that.  I just got off work and finished reading through the FFFC thread and, as a person who has been posting about spotting, I felt hurt and a little less welcome on this board.

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