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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
New moms with little girls....
Have you thought about how you are going to raise a little girl so that she does NOT have body image issues? Just curious. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. One thing I am going to try to do is never use the "d" word (diet). And I'm going to be really careful about not saying anything negative about my own body in front of her (like "I look so fat in this"). Anyone else think about this?
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Re: New moms with little girls....
Yes, and it is something I am going to have to work very hard at because I am big with fishing for compliments via comments such as, "I hate how I look."
I don't think it will be an issue telling HER that she is beautiful, but I think I could project bad behaviors onto her with how I look at myself.
::goes back to working on this regarding pregnancy weight::
I SO hear you on this one!!!
All the time. DH and I both have weight issues, so the first thing we're going to do is make sure they enjoy being active. Whether it be going for walks, going for bike rides, going for hikes, or whatever.
The next thing is that we're going to teach them proper portion control. Both DH and I came from "clean your plate" families and so neither of us have any idea what a portion size looks like unless we measure it out.
We want to teach them to enjoy fruits and vegetables without having them laden with rich sauces. We also want to teach them to enjoy many kinds of cuisine, so they won't be stuck with eating the starch-heavy American food or fast food if they're in a pinch.
We'll also be teaching them to cook for themselves from a young age. I hope to have them making scrambled eggs (supervised, of course) by the time they're 5 or 6.
I will not let them say that they're fat. Especially if they're pre-teens and still have baby fat.
I will encourage them to work out/lose weight/tone up for themselves. Not to fit in or impress a boy.
I will teach them how to dress for their body type and I will tell them if they look bad in something or it's unflattering. I won't say it in a mean way or to make them self-conscious, but I will tell them.
Unable to even.
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You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
Yes. I also am not planning on discussing my body in a negative way or to use the "d" word. I'm also not going to use food as a reward for good work. "Yea, you made in the potty, you get a cookie", because it sets up a terrible relationship with food!
It's a big issue in our family because MIL and SIL are both large women and talk constantly about dieting. DH's mom is already trying to essentially put DD on a diet. Everytime she feeds her, MIL announces after 3 ounces that the baby is full. Um, she eats 5 ounces, not 3. She's NEVER full after 3, except when you feed her... hm...
Yes...I am already working hard to be at peace with my body because I don't want to pass on my self-esteem issues to her.
I want to get her involved in physical activities that will help her feel confident with herself. We're also going put a lot of focus on eating healthy and staying active.
I know it will be really hard but I don't ever want her to feel the way I do about my body.
Married: 5/12/07
DD: 7/28/10
TTC#2: 10/2014
I think about that too...I do not want to be one of those mothers who is constantly saying "Should you be eating that?" I had a very close friend growing up who's mother was constantly stressing the importance of checking the labels for how much fat something had- it made her nuts and now into adulthood both of her daughters are what I would consider to overweight. I think that type of nagging can often have an opposite effect. Of course I want my daughter to eat healthy and be healthy but most importantly I want her to feel good about herself. Hopefully DH and I can model healthy eating habits for her and hope she will make good decisions for herself.
DUE with Baby #2 on 10/26/14
Yeah, I need to be a better role model here. But in my defense, I did not complain about my weight pre-baby. I'm hoping to get back to that point.
Yep... I think about it all the time. I am also going to be careful about what I say infront of her about myself and words I use... like try to use "fit"or "healthy" instead of "skinny" or "fat".
Try my best to be happy w/ myself so that she will grow up comfortable with herself. As much as I can anyway. I'm sure outsiders will have an influence.
I want to teach her to eat healthy foods and that treats are TREATS. I want to teach her to love being active... etc
That is too bad and, sadly, a good point.
Regardless of how "perfect" we try to be (and we won't be able to) the society we live in will have its impact regardless.
I too will not use the word diet or let if say she's "too fat" or "too skinny." I will encourage a healthy and active lifestyle, similar to how SO and I grew up. We were always active in sports and activities and ate well (and still do, for the most part). Like CG, I will nicely point out if something DD chooses to wear isn't so flattering, and encourage her to feel good about herself for her own benefit, not anyone else's.
I totally agree with all of the PPs. It's not just about body image, though. I've heard many mom's say "I tell my daughter she's beautiful all the time" and yet the daughter doesn't think she is. Your daughter also needs to hear "I love when you do _____." "You're so good at _____." etc
Very true. It's funny, though, how it's a well-rounded approach that is most important.
I heard a lot about the productive side of things and never about being beautiful. The result is me being hard-headed and driven -- not very delicate.
I've thought about it a lot actually. My brother had anorexia/bulimia and then took his own life, so It's always in my mind about how to prevent this happening to DD. I used to have body issues when I was younger as well and I always envied the girls who had confidence in themselves so that is the goal for my girl.That means no diets or calling myself derogatory names ("fat" or "ugly" for example) as I plan to practice what I preach.
I want her to truly think she's beautiful no matter what the world may tell her.
I think it will be one of the biggest challenges about raising a girl. But I agree with what other PPs said about reinforcing good attitudes and behaviors surrounding food and body image. It took me a very long time to be comfortable in my own body, flaws and all, and I hope to instill that in my DD by telling her she's beautiful, encouraging her to make healthy lifestyle choices, be active, etc.
My SIL is horrible with her daughters. They are both heavier girls, and she is constantly commenting on their weight, and how they shouldn't eat this, shouldn't eat that. But then when they come down to visit, they go out to eat, constantly grab the Starbucks frozen drinks, and she is trying to be the next famous cupcake bakery, so she is constantly baking. She has been on a roller coaster of diets all her life, and most recently started doing the Flat Belly Diet with her daughters....oh yeah, they are 9 and 13!!!! The 13 year old has such self esteem issues that she has sat and plucked her eyebrows and eyelashes out...TWICE! My DD will not have that as an influence around her, and DH totally agrees. She is the example of what not to do with daughters!