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Indiana Babies
Open letter Friday.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Open letter Friday.
Dear canine teeth,
If you don't show your ugly face soon, I'm going to run around my house screaming like a banshee. I may also buy serious stock in Tylenol, which I can't really afford right now. This has been going on for four months. I can't handle it anymore.
Regards,
Exasperated mama
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Dear Sweater,
Your waistband rides up, which annoys me. It's drafty. It's inappropriate for work. Why must you be so cute yet so dysfunctional?
Signed,
No one wants to see my belly
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Dear Sex,
Who are you again?
Love,
Sleepy
Dear Job,
Quit sucking and stressing me out.
Regards,
Loyal employee
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Dear Baby C,
Please help daddy and I figure out a name for you. I know you can hear me, so a kick or something when you hear a name you like would be helpful.
Love,
Your mama who wants you to have name
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Dear Time,
Why are you flying by so fast? I nearly fell over when Dr. M told me yesterday that I'll start seeing her every week starting in 2 weeks. I just found out I was pregnant five minutes ago. I'm not ready. Can you just slow down a smidge?
TIA!
Love,
Someone who's future is coming at her too fast
Dear House,
Could you please purge yourself, you are such a mess and I don't feel like you are ever going to be organized again. A self cleaning button by the doorbell would be great, could you work on that!
Your lovely owner
_____________________________
Dear DH's job,
I appreciate that you provide us with a paycheck that we can save and then feel comfortable making large purchases, going on vacation, etc., oh and your insurance is great....but I really hate when you make DH start working weekends. I know it is just a requirement of the position, but when he has to work 7 days a week I feel like we don't get our weekend family time. I will be glad when he stays at home and we get our weekends back!
The jealous spouse
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Dad,
I miss you and think about you everyday. I still can't believe you are gone and never coming back. You were one of kind and I will think about you everyday until the day that we meet again.
Love,
Your Little Girl
Dear (not so dear) H:
I realize you're impatient and pretty much an as*hole in the morning. However, when you call me to see what's going on with the traffic and then tell me you got a ticket for trying to go around it please don't expect my sympathy. It ticks me off. I will do what I can to see if I can help you, but don't act like a jerk. I didn't write the ticket. I also didn't drive your car.
xoxo,
Your ticked off wife
Dear Mads,
You have been extra sweet this week and I believe it's from all the extra sleep you've been getting. I love it. Let's keep this up. Mommy likes it better when she gets more sleep and when you're not a whiny butt all the time.
Love,
A super grateful mama
Dear virus from he!!:
Please leave my children alone. You are the very worst we've ever had, and mommy hates you. 105 temps with 2 babies through 2 nights in a row is not nice. AT.ALL.
dear dh's truck --
please fix yourself and stop breaking down. i know you get driven to death and you are just tired and need a bit of a rest, but this striking by breaking expensive parts of yourself is unacceptable!
thanks --
the one who didn't want to buy you ::kicks air::
Dear DH and R,
I love you both so much. You guys are my world and make life so much fun.
Love,
your wife and momma
Dear potential pertussis,
YOU SUCK A$$! Please leave my poor infant alone. I would really like to live in a lessened state of worry and panic.
Thanks,
Worried Mommy
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Dear fill in Pedi since mine is on Vaca,
You have been a jerk to me in the past, but my baby is very sick. I know I may be freaking out for no reason but please don't treat me like I'm a fool or an idiot. My fragile emotional state just can't take it.
Thanks,
Nervous Mom
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Dear new and improved DH,
Thank you so much for stepping it up lately. You have been my saving grace the last couple of days. My only questions is WHERE HAS THIS BEEN FOR THE LAST 2 YEARS!!!!
Love,
your wife.
Dear baby,
8 more weeks, 8 more weeks. Please stay inside for at least 8 more weeks. I hope the next 8 weeks fly by.
Love,
Your trying-to-keep-you-snuggly-Momma
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Dear SIL,
I am NEVER letting you watch my kids again. I have let it gone too far. I will pay someone for the one day we allow you to watch them. I don't trust you and your skills SUCK watching children! I feel sorry for my brother and I really hope your bad habbits do not come back during his second tour in Iraq when he leaves next month!
Sincerely, your responsible SIL
Dear Jalen, Landon, and Jordan,
I LOVE you guys!
Love your mommy!
Dear Body,
The fertility monitor is going to start asking you to pee on more sticks starting tomorrow. How about you actually ovulate and make it worth the money of buying the sticks every month,
Love,
A mom who really wants to get pregnant on her own!
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Dear DH,
I love that you look forward to doing things on your day off and that you have friends at work that you feel you can "hang out" with outside of work. But, how about you think about the fact that I never get a day off and I look forward to the break that your days off bring me. Also, it annoys the p!ss out of me that the first thought in your head on a day off or leaving early is not to be home with your family but instead being with your new friends.
Love,
Your wife who does not enjoy working 7 days a week.
ps. You're welcome for me cleaning up the entire ice storm/no power mess of a house we had last week. Next time how about you say thanks instead of being frustrated that I don't have a plan for supper.
Dear Office Depot,
I need 200 of a very, very specific binder by Wednesday. Why is it that I can only get 68 delivered to Bloomington in time, but can get 200 shipped just an hour south? Bitches.
Dear $@#%%@ co-irker,
Just because you lose something doesn't mean that I did it. When I tell you I don't have it...that means I don't fvcking have it. Do not tear up my desk looking for it and then walk away mumbling under your breath that I lost it
Love,
your co-worker that can barely wait being away from you for almost 3 months!
Dear papers and tests,
Please grade yourselves. I want to play with my phone, tyvm.
Signed,
A lazy teacher
dear (normally) sweet, loving and caring husband whom i rarely complain about --
QUIT BEING SNIPPY WITH ME!!! yes, i know it's a royal PITA when a vehicles breaks down, but i'm trying to HELP you. i'm adjusting my work schedule and cancelling plans with my family tonight to help you and the kids!
i could say fv*k it and leave it all to you to figure out and i'll continue with my own plans. grrrrrr!!!
signed --
your loving and very accommodating wife
I am so proud of you for working so hard so that I can stay home with Grady. You are such an awesome husband and daddy. I am happy that you are going to school for two weeks so that you can advance in your career; however please understand that not having my right-hand man for two weeks is going to be TOUGH and I am really sad and tired already in anticipation of your being gone. Total bummer. Please forgive my tendency to be overly independent, closed-off and super emotional leading up to time spent apart.
Love you lots and lots,
Jac
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Sweet baby boy,
I love you so, so, so much! Thank you for sleeping well lately and for being such a sweetie pie.
Love,
Your mama
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Yo upcoming clerk inspections of a great multitdue-
Eff off. You ruined our plans for vacation. You make my already over-worked husband work even harder and bring even more work home. If you must happen, how about give my husband a little more help at work so he isn't so stressed. Stupid jerk inspections. Since you must happen, please pass as quickly and painlessly as possible.
I hate you.
Dear Winter,
Go away! I don't want to have to tell you again. Take all the piles of snow we have here with you. I'm sick of you!
Dear AF,
Please, oh please, do not come and visit me. Please.
Dear MIL,
Stop buying my daughter Rapunzel crap. The doll with two foot of long hair is now a matted mess. And there are trails of this nasty hair all over our house. And no you cannot buy her the Rapunzel bedding that looks hideous. It's purple and ugly and her room is brown and pink. Also, she hasn't seen the movie, so she doesn't even know who this chic is. What in the world are you thinking. Leave my daughters decorating up to me.
~GRACIE JEAN 7-5-08~
Dear Husband, I love you so very very much. I cannot believe that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. Snuggling with you is amazing. Thank you for being an incredible husband!
Love, Your adoring and loving wife
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Dear Ute, Would you please stop being ridiculous and start working like you used to?
An annoying woman who just wants to be regular and normal.
Dear DH,
I'm so happy that you are back to teaching and I enjoy that we now have evenings together and weekends but how is that we seem to never do anything together during the week after DS goes to bed???
Love,
Sad wife who loves to watch reality tv but really actually wishes DH would hang out more with her!
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Dear Clarkie,
I love you to pieces but if you could at all keep your whinning to yourself or at daycare it would be much appreciated because this tired working mama only gets to see you about 2 hours a day during the week so I would like that time to be enjoyable.
I love you to the moon and back and cant believe you will be 15 months old in just a few short weeks!
Love Always and Forever,
your mama
______________________________________________________________
Dear Parents,
It will be almost two years since you have been divorced after being married for 28 years and I still cant get over it and it makes even worse when I have to split the weekend with the two of you! It's not fair to me and it's not fair to DS. What a great weekend.....my dad visiting saturday and my mom on Sunday. Why didnt it work out? I'm still confused and hurt and just tired of worrying about it. Sad that my son will never know his grandparents as being together like I remember my parents being together.
Stressed and hurt,
Your oldest daughter
Dear week,
Eff yourself.
Ever so Happy it's Friday.
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Dear BIL,
Thanks for running the dishwasher without being asked. But you've lived here like 6 months, put the clean stuff up and reload it. I can't be the only person that thinks the dirty dishes stink if they sit for too long.
Your SIL
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Dearest H,
I really do love you. That's why your brother still lives here. However I miss our family dynamic from before he moved in.
Your wife
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Dear Gymbo,
I still bought stuff yesterday but the tees that are $15 this time were $10 last year I am certain I got way more last year.
Wants more Greek Isle but not at that price!
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Dear warm front,
Please stay, thanks!
Over winter