childcare using a large center come in

SimDoh · February 2011

Opinions needed. I'm not overreacting right? My DH thinks I am, but he knows nothing about "professional" childcare.

Yesteday when I went to pick up baby there was an unfamiular adult holding her. I immediatly introduced myself and and she said she used to work there but works at a chuch center now. She said she just comes to visit everybody sometimes.

I have a huge prob with this, and have a plan to talk to director about it today. Here are my issues:

1)unless they are a parent or a staff member, I don't feel its appropriate that other adults come into the infant room ever. 2) Isn't that a liability issue to have someone holding my baby, when they are not officially trained as a staff member (even if they used to work there) 3) Since when does a teacher need/allow a friend to come and talk/entertain her, they should be engaging with the babies not their friends. 4) shouldn;t there be a policy on this, it seams so obvious?

I am guessing the director has no idea that this women dropped by for a visist, it was during the late afternoon.

Help me think of ways to convey my concerns without going irrate on the director. Ughh I'm fuming just thinking about talking with her.

KathrynMD · February 2011

I know I've tried to pick up babies before in DD's infant room and was strongly encouraged not to (I assuem b/c of the liability issues.) I don't think its that odd that she came to visit, her friends, see the babies, etc. but I'd probably be uncomfortable with her holding the babies. I'd say something to the director and just express it as a concern, not necessarily that you are furious.

Valerie120408 · February 2011

I would have been uncomfortable with her holding a child but I personally don't have a problem with her having stopped by as long as it's once in a blue moon thing. An old teacher of DS1 came by once to visit while my son was still in the infant room and I was happy to see her as were the kids that remembered her. I'm sure that there were babies that had started after she moved to a new center and she definitely went to see all of them although I don't know if she held any of them. In any case, I would speak with the director and express your concerns as you laid them out and see what she has to say.

duchess0727 · February 2011

Would be a little uncomfortable with someone I don't know holding my kid - having said that teachers from other classes do it when they need help and it doesn't stress me out. It would not bother me that she visits. We know a lot of the teachers who have since left our daycare and I'd be fine if they visited. They weren't fired - just left for whatever reason. I might be annoyed by the whole thing, but I'd be far from fuming. There's a lot more in life to worry about.

SimDoh · February 2011

KathrynMD:
I know I've tried to pick up babies before in DD's infant room and was strongly encouraged not to (I assuem b/c of the liability issues.) I don't think its that odd that she came to visit, her friends, see the babies, etc. but I'd probably be uncomfortable with her holding the babies. I'd say something to the director and just express it as a concern, not necessarily that you are furious.

Well I would never actually say I'm furious but concerned yes.

Pesky · February 2011

Um, yeah, I'd have a big problem with that. Now I've gone and wiped another kid's nose with walrus snot or helped right a baby who had toppled over or given a fallen binky back to a young baby in the bouncy seat or something but that's it. I would be grossly uncomfortable with a stranger who has had no recent background check, who the center could deny liability for, etc. coming by and holding my baby. What other strangers do they allow to do this? Fine with her coming to visit but not fine with her coming to hold my kid unless I said it was okay. I would also ask that if the visit is purely social and therefore bound to be a distraction from childcare duties, perhaps it might be best to occur in the staff breakroom or elsewhere.

sju · February 2011

Do you know how often this is happening? I would be concerned with non-staff holding my child but I would not be fuming or even consider going to talk to the Director while being mad. Unless you feel this woman somehow harmed your LO (doubt that) then I would be nicer about it. I would calmly talk to the Director and express my concerns, and ask how often this person is visiting the children and if she is helping care for them. She can't help take care of them. That would be a big concern for me because they need to have updated background checks and be registered as a staff member.

As a mom, I have never held another child that is not mine except in one or two ocassions when there was a safety concern, like the teacher was a few feet away and two toddlers climbed on a table next to me in a split second. I just helped put them on the floor.

Genevieve_kris · February 2011

Pesky:
Um, yeah, I'd have a big problem with that. Now I've gone and wiped another kid's nose with walrus snot or helped right a baby who had toppled over or given a fallen binky back to a young baby in the bouncy seat or something but that's it. I would be grossly uncomfortable with a stranger who has had no recent background check, who the center could deny liability for, etc. coming by and holding my baby. What other strangers do they allow to do this? Fine with her coming to visit but not fine with her coming to hold my kid unless I said it was okay. I would also ask that if the visit is purely social and therefore bound to be a distraction from childcare duties, perhaps it might be best to occur in the staff breakroom or elsewhere.

This.

Cheerio B · February 2011

This is NOT OK. First, if the teachers there are socializing, they aren't watching the children. Second, unless they are a staff member they have no business holding my child. If she had fallen or was about to do something dangerous, then sure they can step in. But to hold the child of a stranger is not OK. And there is a huge difference between staff memebers at the center I don't know holding DD and total strangers with no business picking her up. If she's not staff she's a stranger.

I would 100% talk to the director about it. I'd do my best to be calm so the message didn't get lost in the anger, but I'd let her know that this was no acceptable.

I get thinking the kids are adorable and wanting to cuddle them all. In DD's infant room there was a little girl who always toddled over to me and asked to be picked up. I would talk to her or give her a hug if I was already on the floor but never picked her up. I didn't have her paren'ts permission. I put my kid in our daycare because I trust the director and the staff she has chosen. Allowing other random people to interact with my kid is an abuse of that trust.

KAtwinmom · February 2011

I completely understand your concern. If you are generally happy with the care provided by the program, I would simply ask the Director to explain the policy. You are probably right that she doesn't know about the visit. Substitute staff members should have to be fingerprinted, etc., and I doubt this person was there as a sub. Staff members should not be socializing during the work day. My biggest "rule" about parents and child care providers is that if you have a concern, you should feel comfortable addressing it with the teachers or Director. If you aren't comfortable telling them how you feel about anything, no matter how small, then maybe it's not the right place.

lewis514 · February 2011

I agree with everyone else. I'm not okay with additional people being in the rooms if they aren't parents or current teachers/staff. When DD was in the infant room, another Mom asked if she could hold my daughter bc she was so tiny compared to her daughter (~6 months older). I was fine with that because she asked. I have never held another infant. Now that DD's in the toddler rooms, if her classmates approach me, we usually do high five's & I will talk to them but that is the extent of my physical interaction. I also agree that if they are visiting, they are a distraction to the staff. I am close with one of the infant room teachers and she always wants me to stop in and say hi. I've told her I'm uncomfortable with this because I don't want to distract her.

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