Anyone else exclusively formula feeding?

laurapalmer · February 2011

I planned to stick it out with BFing no matter what but I had supply issues from the start and then my milk never came in despite pumping. I didn't even know that that was possible. I met with lactation consultants, tried supplementing with a tube, nothing worked.

We've been EFFing since he was one week old and even though I try not to blame myself I'm so disappointed. I'm so glad that DS is healthy but I feel like a failure not being able to BF him. Can anyone relate?

misskassielynn · February 2011

DS is still chilling inside, so obviously I don't know. Like you I plan to stick it out with BFing. I think, from what you have said, however, you tried your damnedest and it just didn't work. I doubt me telling you to PLEASE not blame yourself or feel guilty will help, but for what its worth, please don't. I am sure you have stressed about this a ton, but as you know, he needs food somehow! I know you might feel like its your fault, but the logic there only follows if it is "your fault" you have a certain color eyes or such other things you are born with.

You tried your butt off to be the best mom you can for him, and in doing so, you WERE and ARE the best mom for him. Sure, there are health benefits to breastfeeding that make us all want to do it, but the reality is, if you tried that hard and it just didn't work out, then you are OBVIOUSLY not going to slack on your other motherly duties. By giving a really great go you showed him, your husband, and yourself how important providing the best possible of everything for him is to you. Just like you can't blame yourself if you weren't able to give him blue eyes or something (no matter how hard you tried) you shouldn't blame yourself for this.

((Hugs)) I know it gets said a lot, but Happy Mommy=Happy Baby. Take care of yourself, get some sleep while DH takes some late night feedings, love the crap out of him, and I am sure he will grow up to be a wonderful caring awesome man. You are doing awesome, I can tell from just that little blurb

awireman · February 2011

With my son I was the same way. I was determined to breast feed however I had complications after delivery that required medicine that prevented me from getting milk. I pumped for two weeks to give him all I could he only got like 4ounces in at time total. I felt horrible about formula feeding but my ds has been fine. He has never had ear infections or reLly been sick at all. I know it makes you feel like a failure but you baby will be fine. Sometimes it is just not possible to breastfeed.

Bridgetkate28 · February 2011

Although I am not formula feeding yet, I can relate to the disappointment of not being able to breast feed.

My LO was admitted to the NICU immediately after birth and I didn't even get to hold him until 24 hours later. This, I think, had an impact on his ability to really get the whole breast feeding thing. I was pumping from the first night and decided just recently to pump and bottle feed.

The decision came after a TON of tears, breakdowns and discussions with DH, and my mom. Like the previous post said, you do what you have to do in order to be the best mom for YOUR child. Regardless of what anyone says, you are giving your LO the most important ingredient in the parenting process... LOVE, the food in my eyes is a side note right now. Sure we know the studies saying that breast milk is best, but I'm pretty sure there are millions of babies out there who were formula fed from the get go and they have grown to be kind and intelligent individuals.

Know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do, but that you are doing your best for your LO. Congratulations on bringing him into the world and enjoy every minute with him!

mtnbride1 · February 2011

With my first, we tried everything too but there were just major latch issues, lack of weight gain, etc. The guilt and pressure were enormous! I would cry at each feeding. Once we went to a bottle (I was able to pump for a little while), things were so much better. Just remember that babies need to eat, whether it's breast milk or formula, and rest assured that plenty of us were EFF'd and came out fine! At some point, you will have to just let it go... which may take a while!

Mrs.HMommy · February 2011

My best friend had the exact same problem. Her milk just never came. She's now PG again and super concerned that the same thing is going to happen again. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I had latching trbl with my first and ended up doing both breast milk and formula. I'm sure your baby boy will grow up healthy and happy regardless!! *hugs*

laurapalmer · February 2011

Thank you so much ladies, you have no idea what your support means to me. I know it's totally irrational to blame myself, I was just feeling really sad about missing out on that experience with him. You guys made me feel so much better, thank you!

SarahTx5701 · February 2011

oh sweetie. I know exactly how you feel.

My first son was born earlyat 35 weeks and I did not see him for 3 days as he was transported to another hospital with a nicu. Being seperated, plus being so sick with pre-e killed my supply. I tried to nurse, but he was early, and sick and so sleepy he hardly ever got with it. I pumped and pumped but nothing. I spent 6 weeks in misery. He cried, I cried. I felt like such a failure. It was horrible. At my 6 week visit my doc told me I had to do what I had to do. A happy mommy=happy mommy. Breastmilk is great but formula is great too. My son is a happy, healthy, huge toddler!

I will add that don't worry about your next child either because this ds is nursing like a champ. Its SUCH a huge difference. I now have an over supply issue (who would have thunk?)

You're a wonderful mommy and are doing a fantastic job!!!

RileyGrace · February 2011

Same thing happened to me. I pumped my brains out for 12 days, nothing. I got a grand total of 40mls. I'm really upset about it but there's nothing more I can do. I did everything the LC suggested, nothing. My little guy was early so I don't know if that caused the issue or if it would have happened no matter what, but we're stuck formula feeding. He's doing great, so I can't worry about it. Just wish it could have been a choice instead of forced on me. Oh well. I'm trying to just focus on how great he's doing instead of thinking about how sad I am about it.

chardonnay24 · February 2011

I'm not, but I may end up going that route. We have about every issue in the book when it comes to breastfeeding - he's got a poor latch, is really sleepy from jaundice and falls asleep when he's at the breast, and does not suck very well, and I have really inverted nipples, it takes about 2 minutes for my milk come in once suction begins, and my boobs are HUGE (36J) and unmanageable on my own. I've seen the lactation consultants three times in the last week and it's just not working. Luckily I'm able to pump and finger feed him, but I am so frustrated, tired, and disappointed that I am afraid I'll end up giving up and switching to formula.

njmoh · February 2011

we plan on formula feeding, I think as long as your baby is loved and fed and taken care of you are ahead of the game no matter how it is all accomplished

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