how would you respond to this (breastfeeding)

mrs.viv07 · February 2011

I'm beyond happy to have made it past 12 months f EBF'ing, although work is very relaxed about my pumping breaks, i'm begging to get questions like, "when do you plan to stop?" "are you gonna feed him till Highschool?" and the best "you're not gonna be one of those moms with a 5 year old on her boob are you?"
this last comment really bothered me, and to be honest (and thank God) pumping for me never takes more than 15 minutes and i try to do it during lunch and afternoon breaks so its not like its disrupting work flow.
i would normally laugh it off but not its getting annoying. its one thing to hear it from the 2 family members who are super opinionated and whatever i do what i want and it family so i can always tell them to shut up but i'm not sure how to handle work. especially when the assistant manager said yesterday
"oh i couldn't be bothered M was fed fr to 2 months and the other was maybe 2 weeks" ugh

lisa5201 · February 2011

No idea how to respond, but I'm gonna commiserate. When DD was a coupla months old DH and I and his parents went to a drive-in movie to see the stupid movie "Grown-Up's" with Adam Sandler and David Spade which makes fun of a breastfeeding 5 year old with really imbecile humor through-out.

I had recently told my MIL that I planned to BF for 2 years then "we'll see" which horrified her (she never even attempted to breastfeed her kids and firmly believes in formula being the "right" way to feed a baby). Then had to sit through a terrible movie with her where the punchline was extended breastfeeding - Awkward!

Sorry, no suggestions but I plan on breastfeeding past 12months despite getting ignorant comments too, so your not alone!

shainababygirl · February 2011

I just always answer that we're letting Keevia self-wean, and that I nursed until after I was two. Thankfully not many people ask (but I'm not a pumping at work mom).

I haven been asked if I planned on nursing til age five, or until college, to which I always respond 'I wish she'd let me!' in a joking manner. It seems to make the other person laugh and realize I don't really care what they think.

Temp206787500007404 · February 2011

In the workplace, any comments about your BF'ing or pumping should be reported to HR (IMO). I think that borders on harassment. Otherwise, I would just ignore the commenters entirely. If they're going to make stupid comments, they don't deserve to be acknowledged.

someflower6 · February 2011

i hate that you get so much slack for breastfeeding. i can't even imagine how someone could have the nerve to say things like that. one, because it's straight up rude and discouraging, and that's not cool. but also because when did it become ok to start asking interogating questions like that--especially at work! how very very rude.

the only one i can understand is someone asking you when you plan on stopping. not because it's necessarily appropraite, but maybe they are completely ignorant about breastfeeding and don't understand that it's completely normal and natural to breastfeed well past the first year. so i would suggest that if someone makes a snarky comment, be snarky back-- ie your coworker says "i couldn't be bothered with it" say something like "well luckily you don't have to breastfeed my daughter." but if it's just a curiousity thing, i would encourage you to say something along the lines of "i'm surpised you're asking... it's so common for moms to breastfeed for over a year. in fact, the WHO recommends it and hopefully it will become the norm." make them feel ackward about asking, not you feel ackward about bf'ing.

ladybug8510 · February 2011

MrsB2007:
In the workplace, any comments about your BF'ing or pumping should be reported to HR (IMO). I think that borders on harassment. Otherwise, I would just ignore the commenters entirely. If they're going to make stupid comments, they don't deserve to be acknowledged.

Lurking, but I agree with this. Especially the comment about "being attached to the boob." That just crosses a line.

nekorayne · February 2011

Ladybug8510:
MrsB2007:
In the workplace, any comments about your BF'ing or pumping should be reported to HR (IMO). I think that borders on harassment. Otherwise, I would just ignore the commenters entirely. If they're going to make stupid comments, they don't deserve to be acknowledged.
Lurking, but I agree with this. Especially the comment about "being attached to the boob." That just crosses a line.

I agree! It is very unprofesional of them and it should be reported, especially if it is anyone in management saying these things!

As for family I would tell them the WHO recommends it tell 2 and then ask them why they are against something that has been proven to be healthy!

Jennicap · February 2011

I've only had one person ask me anything about BFing and that was my MIL when DS got his first tooth she said I'll start saving you formula coupons and said why? and she said well he has a tooth you need to wean. I informed her that getting teeth had nothing to do with weaning and I don't plan on weaning for at least 12-18 months possibly over 24 months unless he chooses to wean himself. She honestly didn't know what to say I think she was utterly disgusted by the thought! lol

jen5-03 · February 2011

I avoid talking about it at work as much as possible, but i stopped pumping at 11mo which makes it less visible to coworkers. I'd ask why they care about your boobs so much! If it really bothers you and you want too report them I think you need to tell them straight up that you don't want to talk about it and they are making you uncomfortable first. If these are people you are friendly with then you must give them that chance first. If these are weird annoying creepy people and not workfriends then i might go to hr first.

WyoGal · February 2011

jen5/03:
If it really bothers you and you want too report them I think you need to tell them straight up that you don't want to talk about it and they are making you uncomfortable first. If these are people you are friendly with then you must give them that chance first. If these are weird annoying creepy people and not workfriends then i might go to hr first.

This.

SnoopyLuv · February 2011

MrsB2007:
In the workplace, any comments about your BF'ing or pumping should be reported to HR (IMO). I think that borders on harassment. Otherwise, I would just ignore the commenters entirely. If they're going to make stupid comments, they don't deserve to be acknowledged.

SnoopyLuv · February 2011

Sorry bump fart. If anyone said that to me again I'd let them know comments like that will be reported to HR in the future. If they make a joke about it or act like an @ss I'd let them know it's none of their damn business. I bet you that the first time you say that to someone it will get around the office and no one will say anything to you again.

Tonya_G · February 2011

Kudos to you for still pumping- The day she turned 1, I stopped! We're still nursing 2-3x a day- before I leave for work, when I get home, and before she goes to bed. Thankfully, no one in my family or circle of friends really asks when I'm giving it up- they're all really supportive.

I'd just give a firm answer every single time it is brought up that "They are my breasts and I will do what I want with them, and she is my child, and I will do what I want with her. Kindly keep your opinion to yourself."

tct1219 · February 2011

i get it already and my daughter's only 4 months old. i tell people at least 2 years for the immunological and other health benefits and probably until she weans herself. i think they usually realize that i know what i'm doing and they're not educated about it and stop talking.

i actually want people to ask so that i can at least try to open their minds about it by exposing them to extended breastfeeding/ self-weaning and get them to reconsider their views.

christina627 · February 2011

I got that alot and still get it on occassion...mostly at this point from DH (but he has other issues with it.) I did reference WHO a lot and stopped getting most of the questions when I stopped NIP. Until a week and a half ago, I was still nursing for naps, bed, and throughout the night. On the f'irst we dropped nap nursing and we've also moved him into his sidecarred toddler bed (at least first thing at night).

We're weaning for our own reasons now...mainly bc we're ready for him to STTN and in his own bed and we're talking about having another baby.

rosiemomma · February 2011

I tell people 'we both really enjoy it, and that is all that matters' then they meet my wonderful little girl and usually keep their mouth shut!

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