RE: CIO...need your input

Married2003 · February 2011

I can?t believe I?ve made it almost 11 months w/o continuous sleep. Yes, Thomas is still waking up at night, granted it?s once or twice; but it?s getting to a point he?s old enough and understands what?s going on so he?s starting to manipulate us. Anyways, I was so desperate last night so I let him CIO after his third time waking up. The first two times it was quick ? he just wanted his paci. The third time he wanted to be held, so I left the room and he started crying. He cried for 5 minutes standing up, then sat down and cried for 5 more minutes; and finally laid own and cried another 5 minutes and finally fell asleep.

Anyways, how exactly did you go about CIO and how long did it take LO before they finally got it and STTN? I?m hoping and praying tonight will be uneventful and will take less than 15 minutes. Also, did you put LO to sleep fully awake? Lately, he?s been going to sleep later and later so instead of his usual 8:30 bed time, now its 10:00. Thanks.

daisydana · February 2011

Okay, here is what I would do... Put three or four paci's in with him. He's bound to find one and not NEED you. Then, I would do the same thing each and every time you have to go in to soothe him. That way he knows what to expect from you. When you let him cry, decide FIRST what the plan is. You know I loved ferber's book. We did the traditional route. Let them cry for intervals of five, ten, then fifteen minutes. Fifteen being the max we would let it go. Each time, I would go in and rub her back and talk to her. But only for about two minutes. You leave the room the same way each time too. I say "night night" and leave without turning around. Thomas sounds like he can get himself to sleep, so that's good. He just needs to learn how to wake up through the night and not need help from you. Why is he going down later and later? Does he go to bed awake or asleep?

Piranha54 · February 2011

We used Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child - loved it because it has recomendations based on age, feeding status, and along the range from "no cry" to CIO. We first tried the "no cry" or more typical Ferber training and Ellie just thought it was a game, so we ended up doing the "extinction" method. You put your LO down and that's it until they go to sleep - to checking at intervals etc. We obviously did peak!! The first three nights we he!!ish and went from around an hour of crying to her cooing/fussing for 5-10 minutes on the 4th night and then going to sleep. Now she rarely does more than coo/fuss for 5 minutes and is out. We did have to retrain over the summer, but it was completely our fault - we got her schedule so off...DD will sometimes wake in the night - if she fusses more than 5-10 minutes or just screams bloody murder immediately, we check it out. In general, there's been a reason for her to wake up - poopy diaper, got a limb stuck, etc.

While I can only imagine how badly you want sleep, I'd suggest checking out the two books, reading up a bit and being prepared to start something - we started on a Friday night. Good luck!

Married2003 · February 2011

daisydana:
Okay, here is what I would do... Put three or four paci's in with him. He's bound to find one and not NEED you. Then, I would do the same thing each and every time you have to go in to soothe him. That way he knows what to expect from you. When you let him cry, decide FIRST what the plan is. You know I loved ferber's book. We did the traditional route. Let them cry for intervals of five, ten, then fifteen minutes. Fifteen being the max we would let it go. Each time, I would go in and rub her back and talk to her. But only for about two minutes. You leave the room the same way each time too. I say "night night" and leave without turning around. Thomas sounds like he can get himself to sleep, so that's good. He just needs to learn how to wake up through the night and not need help from you. Why is he going down later and later? Does he go to bed awake or asleep?

Thanks Dana - my mom was just telling me this morning I need to put several pacis in the crib. Lot of the time I think its he's depending on his paci to fall back a sleep - as a matter of fact, I think he would STTN if it wasn't for his paci.

I don't understand why he's sleeping later at night. {Little confession - yes, i would give him a bottle but he's drowsy when I put him in the crib.} It seems that he was sleeping later and later all of the sudden - it wasn't a gradual thing.

I'm going out during lunch to get the ferber book.

robynlesley · February 2011

I always have at least 3 pacifiers in Aaron crib and have done that since he was 7 or 8 months old. It totally works... though he's super attached to them and when I get him in the morning he has 1 in his mouth and 1 in each hand. lol

Married2003 · February 2011

robynlesley:
I always have at least 3 pacifiers in Aaron crib and have done that since he was 7 or 8 months old. It totally works... though he's super attached to them and when I get him in the morning he has 1 in his mouth and 1 in each hand. lol

LOL Robyn! Thomas loves his paci too!

fiazo · February 2011

I actually put a sippy with water in her crib, she knows her dolly will be holding it. Since I started doing this a few weeks ago we have not had to get up at night.

But I am pathetic because I still have to lay down & put her to sleep wether for naps or nightime. It's selfish of me but I love this time. It's the only time that she will be still & cuddly.

jarbatz · February 2011

Jung - nothing new to add really except that Dana summed up Ferber to a tee. Lisa (Piranha) had good luck with HSHC but I did not like the format of the book....I felt like I had to do a lot of reading to get to the "meat", whereas with Ferber, I was able to quickly read the program and then there's a page that I dog-eared that has the schedule of the intervals and all the "rules".

However, I will say that since T is a little older and as you said, knows what he's doing, the Ferber method may be more of a "game" to him. And that is when the "extinction" method comes in...which is straight CIO. I think you have a video monitor, so if you go that route, that may be of some comfort to you - to be able to see him, see that's he OK and know that you're doing the right thing (if you decide to do it). Its OK if you don't though, too!

And I also sprinkle the crib with pacis...and never have to replace Brenna's. She's had patches here and there where she has sleep disruptions but she almost always puts herself back to sleep.

GL!

NewMrs07 · February 2011

I've rarely let Adrian CIO but it's b/c I put him to bed already asleep. He gets a bottle and then he falls asleep on my shoulder and I put him in his crib. So not sure I can recommend this b/c a) I really should wean him from the bottle and b) I know I should put him to bed while still awake. But he usually STTN unless he's teething or sick, so that system works for us now. Whatever makes Adrian STTN is fine by me! He doesn't use a pacifier though, never has. But I agree with other poster's idea of putting several paci's in T's crib. Good luck!

mtnrider · February 2011

Simon has 4 or 5 pacis in his crib. No reason to limit the number, the more you put in there the less they have to go hunting for them! (he also has blankets, stuffed animals, toys, etc. but I put each paci in a corner so he knows where they are and the bumpers keep them in the crib.)

carladillon · February 2011

We did CIO around 6 months. It took a few days - not quite a week. It was really rough at first - I didn't read any books, just gleaned info from what everyone else had done. I checked on her in intervals. She doesn't use pacis - she sucks her thumb.

I nursed her until 13 months, so sometimes she would fall asleep during that last nursing session and I'd put her to bed asleep. Other times she was just drowsy. Now, she is fully awake when I put her down. She has a Fisher Price projector mobile, and when I put her down, I turn that on and giver her her lovie (she has about 4-5 friends in the crib with her), rub her head/cheek a little bit and tell her I love her, will see her in a little bit and leave. And 99% of the time, she's out for the night. Now, in the morning on the weekends if she wakes up before us, we can hear her playing in her crib.

Good luck!

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