flame me if you will.

TiffanyTheMom · February 2011

my baby eats every 2 hours from 7am til 10pmish, and then after that... once around 1-3am, and then it starts over around 6-7am.

i feel like i'm totally cheating- i breastfeed exclusively during the day and for the last feeding, she sucks down a 2-3oz bottle of expressed breast milk and then we sleep with her. either she's in my arm or dh's because if we try to set her down at night she screams. and the only reason i started pumping one night was because her suction is so strong she's actually taken skin off my nipples, and pumping is less strong and doesn't hurt and we pumped and did bottles that last night. after we saw how long she let us sleep and how good my nipples felt after a night of rest from her, we decided to do it for another night... and another...

now, i've never been one for co-sleeping, but she won't sleep at night unless she's in our arms. and we have to sleep. and i feel like i'm cheating on breastfeeding with using bottles at night.

i don't know why i feel bad about this, i feel like this is sort of a confession. i mean, it's working for us, but i feel like i should feel bad about it for some reason.

pkate98 · February 2011

no, that sounds like you're adapting to having a newborn!! That's exactly what I did with DS and I was able to BF him a year. At this point, you're in survival mode, so do whatever you need to get through the next few weeks. A lot of the things you planned on doing will probably fly out the window.

monkey_pants · February 2011

I really don't think you should feel bad about this. I'm sure the fact that this is different from the way your other two kids were makes it feel wrong, but it sounds pretty normal from what I've read.

I know I'd have a problem bed-sharing, too -- would just be worried I'd mess up and roll onto the baby or get her too close to pillows or blankets. It would probably mean I'd sleep lightly. BUT I also know that if that turns out to be the only way my LO sleeps, I'm sure I'll give in to it. There's only so much sleep deprivation we can take. Have you tried putting her in something more upright at night? I just visited a friend this weekend whose 6-wk old sleeps in his carseat attached to the stroller, and I've read a lot about ppl's babies preferring to sleep in their swing. Just a thought...

Lilystar82 · February 2011

I am now firmly in the camp of: you do what you have to do to get by. I've done things I've said I would never do.

Pure survival mode. Don't feel bad - my theory is as long as they are happy and healthy, I'm doing something right.

pomrom · February 2011

why would you get flamed for that?

Now, if you were stuffing her full of rice cereal or something other than formula or breastmilk, that is flame worthy...

she is still getting your milk... even if it is from a bottle. i am exclusively pumping and i have started putting him to my breast but he just doesn't latch for long. I really feel like I am cheating.

TiffanyTheMom · February 2011

i don't know, just the fact she's not up every 3 hours to feed at night makes me feel bad i guess...

we tried the car seat and the swing and it doesn't matter, she won't have any of it. we're going to try to start setting her down during the day when she's asleep so she at least gets used to the transfer. When she's awake we talk to her and hold her, and we're trying to get her used to being not held when she's asleep. it's not easy!

AggieBeth06 · February 2011

I totally sympathize.

I am dieing - I ordered a pump and it's not here yet, but I've returned my rental and I really miss giving myself one break a day on the feedings. It can be very draining... I felt guilty at first, but you have to take care of yourself.

My only advice is to try different methods for putting LO down. Rocking, swaddling, shh/pat... different positions, etc. Don't immediately give in to sleeping together.

We have been trying to train DS to sleep in his bassinet. My back was killing me from sleeping night and day in the recliner. So far, we are doing ok (knock on wood), but there are nights that I have to give in and sleep in the recliner or none of us sleep. The good news is that the span of "good nights" is increasing and the span of "bad nights" is decreasing.

But that's my experience. You have do to what works. For your own sanity.

TiffanyTheMom · February 2011

AggieBeth06:
My only advice is to try different methods for putting LO down. Rocking, swaddling, shh/pat... different positions, etc. Don't immediately give in to sleeping together.

She gets swaddled every night, and she'll go to sleep being rocked and patted, but once she's out (even limp as a ragdoll) if we set her down in her cradle, swing, car seat, on the couch, on a blanket on the floor, etc- she'll sleep for all of 2 minutes before waking up. She knows. Somehow, she knows. And we tried one time (on DH's insistence) to let her cry herself to sleep and she went on for 30 minutes before I told DH he was stupid to think you could sleep train a baby this young. He then lectured me that if I let her trample me now, she'll trample me in the future too. I don't think he really remembers how newborns operate...

Anyway, we had no intention on co-sleeping, and we didn't want to turn to it immediately, but for the past 2-3 nights we have just been going down with her in our arms without a second thought. Co-sleeping scares both of us, but we/re so exhausted and the sleep is so nice... it's scary to try to get her to sleep in her cradle too soon and have to fight with her every hour on the hour like it was!

RumbleLina · February 2011

I was intending to exclusively BFing Isaac when he was born but between everything that happened I was too overwhelmed with it and it was causing issues for me so I started to pump and use bottles. I do not necessarily consider it cheating though. He may not be breast feeding but he is still getting the exact same thing and the most important thing is nutrients.

And actually, it is a lot easier for me at this point to just pump and build up the stock in the fridge then to feed him every 2 hours. Besides, I like knowing how much he is taking down anyways.

ETA: When I was having problems with the decision the nurse that I talked to told me that mothers need to remember it is about their survival as well. Thinking of it that way helped me out a little bit to feel less guilty or feel like I was taking the easy way out.

cgr8979 · February 2011

Tiffany this is us...to a "T" exactly!!! My left breast is raw from where she sucks so hard. I've started pumping and she would sleep thru the night if I didn't wake her up to feed her. I only wake up once to feed her b/c we usually do get into bed till 1 and she's up or gets fed right before that. But, she sleeps right in between us. I NEVER wanted to co-sleep...but it's what gets us thru the night and we all sleep, so I don't see the harm. When did you have your little girl? I get on here about once every few days since I had Tatum last week.

MiniMadness · February 2011

Do you swaddle? I'm asking because the only way our baby will sleep alone is if she is swaddled, otherwise she likes the arms for the close and secure feeling. When she is swaddled I have to wake her up to feed her because she sleeps until unswaddled.haha. Just a suggestion.

As far as the bottle feeding, it sounds like you are doing the right thing by giving those sore nipples a rest!!!

daniellepanda · February 2011

You should not feel bad. I am trying to pump about 2 times a day so that we always have 2 bottles in the fridge to use at night, when I need a nap so DH can feed him, etc (and also try to build a stock for when I return to work in May).

A lot of people say not to introduce a bottle or pacifiers before 4 weeks if you are breastfeeding..... but we gave in on day 5 to both and have had no issues at all going back and forth. I have to wear a nipple shield anyway because according to the lactation consultant at the hospital I have 'short nipples' so the sheild and the nipple on the bottle are so similar that I think this is why he doesnt notice too much of a difference as far as latching and a bottle. We got the OK yesterday at the pedi to not have to wake him up every 2-3 hours at night to feed since he is back at his birth weight and she said as long as its every 4 hours at night that is ok. However that is when he has decided he wants to cluster feed the most between 3 and 6 am (what a brat) so this is when DH has been helping out with giving him a bottle of breast milk.

MiniMadness · February 2011

TiffanyTheMom:
AggieBeth06:
My only advice is to try different methods for putting LO down. Rocking, swaddling, shh/pat... different positions, etc. Don't immediately give in to sleeping together.
She gets swaddled every night, and she'll go to sleep being rocked and patted, but once she's out (even limp as a ragdoll) if we set her down in her cradle, swing, car seat, on the couch, on a blanket on the floor, etc- she'll sleep for all of 2 minutes before waking up. She knows. Somehow, she knows. And we tried one time (on DH's insistence) to let her cry herself to sleep and she went on for 30 minutes before I told DH he was stupid to think you could sleep train a baby this young. He then lectured me that if I let her trample me now, she'll trample me in the future too. I don't think he really remembers how newborns operate...
Anyway, we had no intention on co-sleeping, and we didn't want to turn to it immediately, but for the past 2-3 nights we have just been going down with her in our arms without a second thought. Co-sleeping scares both of us, but we/re so exhausted and the sleep is so nice... it's scary to try to get her to sleep in her cradle too soon and have to fight with her every hour on the hour like it was!

Oops! This is what I get for bumping on my blackberry during a 2am feeding!! Didn't even see this post. Sorry. Wow, she cried for 30 minutes?! She's a stubborn little gal. You're right though, she's just a newborn, you will have plenty of time to "sleep train" her.

JessiRaye · February 2011

No flames from me! I am trying not to co-sleep because I have with my other children and it was hard getting them out of our bed, BUT my 3rd sleeps so much better with me! I hear ya! AND i think it is great if you can pump and have someone else give a bottle sometimes! My 2nd would NOT take a bottle so I am eager to start trying with Liam.

As for the nips...I had raw/open places on mine (Liam was a champion nurser from day one) and saw my pediatrician's office LC. She prescribed bactroban to be applied 3 times per day for 7 days. My nips healed up fast and now nursing is pain free. Just a thought for ya:) (Cause good grief....raw nips HURT!)

Congrats on your LO. She's precious.

Lucky_Dragonfly · February 2011

if she is drinking you rmilk then BF is BF no matter what form she gets it in. I am actually probably going to just pump. I might nurse at night time since it will be easier to do then getting a bottle ready, but it will also be easier for MH to help out with the feedings. I nursed DS and if I was in the room he wouldn;t drink from a bottle. If DD is started outon a bottle then there will be no issue with her eating. (hopefully)

momranda · February 2011

I'd been doing both breast and formula feeding because he was jaundiced and not getting enough milk initially. Before bed i breastfeed him, but if he seems like hes still hungry after 45 minutes of breastfeeding, I give him a little formula, which always knocks him right out. His pediatrician said the only possible negative that could come from both breast and formula feeding is nipple confusion, which hasnt been a problem at all!

kiley&matt · February 2011

You have a newborn! I think it's totally okay to do whatever you have to do to get by at this point. Most of my friends have two or three kids and especially with the second and third children, they seemed to adopt a much more laid-back style of parenting for the first few months. If you're worried about her getting used to sleeping only when she's with you and your husband, I think it'll be fine and you'll have plenty of time to get her used to a different sleeping arrangement once you're both more rested and not feeding quite so often. Like someone else mentioned, you're in survival mode at this point, and anything you can do that allows both you and your baby to sleep is a success.

TiffanyTheMom · February 2011

Thank you ladies for helping me feel better about this. I guess because it's not the 'hard' way, I feel bad about it. I mean, she does get the breast all day long whenever she wants it, and it is breast milk she gets at night too... I guess I just kind of felt like, with my other two children, I was up every time they needed to feed and the sole diaperer and still had to be awake during the day because my DH was deployed... you know, it was like I was toughing it out. Then again, it did result in me having PPD... anyway, I just felt (and still feel, a little bit) that I'm totally cheating. I mean, for the past few nights, I've actually been getting sleep!

cgr, she was born last week too- the 2nd. She's one week old today. (As I see yours is too! One week milestone, whoo hoo!)

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