Vent: Am I the only one happy about having two girls?
jgengo0
member
DH and I were originally team green up until our 17 week appointment. I didn't mention we were team green to the tech, because it was not our anatomy scan and frankly didn't even have time to tell her ( I hadn't seen them for 5 and 1/2 weeks since we were moving/ waiting for new insurance to go through so I was only concentrating on if they had heartbeats) when she said I think b is a little girl and a is a little boy.
No big deal, we got over it. When we said oh we were going to wait to find out she kind of back pedaled and said "oh well it is still early, don't come knocking on my door if I am wrong." So of course at our anatomy scan we wanted to make sure. Surprise! It's two girls. I am thrilled while DH is trying to get use to the idea. It is really starting to annoy me. I get being upset for a day or two, but come on. All he keeps talking about is money. When we were having a boy and girl all was right with the world and he could care less about money. He keeps mentioning things like "they better not get married at the same time, prom is going to be hell...etc" I told him to get over it. He was the one who determined what we got. After telling him this he hasn't said too much more, but I feel like that is almost worse. I'm constantly wondering what he is thinking. I know it shouldn't, but it hurts my feelings that he isn't as excited about having two girls as he was having a boy. I'm sad, because planning with him is no longer fun. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just him who is upset, but I feel everyone else is too!
After I had the scan I called my 9 year-old-niece who had been waiting like she would for Christmas presents. I told her to guess...she guessed wrong....she screamed WHAT?!?! two girls? and handed off the phone to my sister. My sister told me she found her up in her room hysterically sobbing. No big deal, she is a little kid, I really don't care, just kind of bummed she isn't as excited as she was before (pregnancy hormones).
We called DH's grandma who's first response was..."oh...are you two ok with that? That's really too bad. " No, we are going to send one back...wtf? I'm just really surprised at everyones' reactions.
My great aunt who I am close with didn't say too much at all just...oh...
I just want to scream GET OVER IT ALREADY. I wish I was ready to pop so everyone can see them and get happy.
Vent over! Sorry, just had to get that out there!
Re: Vent: Am I the only one happy about having two girls?
Aww. I'm so sorry hun! Two girls is super exciting!!! Not to mention, very economical. They can share clothes and a room for longer. If it were a boy and girl, you'd be spending way more up front. I know that economics is not the issue here (but I would explain that to your hubby when he brings it up).
People are just weird. They have expectations and don't always react the way we want. Believe me, I've had my fair share of "ohs." It sucks. I know. Just hand in there. I'm sure it will get better.
seriously? wtf? I have to say that I feel really bad for you and if my loved ones were saying things like that to me I wouldn't be a very nice preggo lady!
Personally I have never understood gender dissapointment from parents or anyone else. Pregnancy is a miracle and I really don't see what the big deal is...they are people...why does everyone continue to associate negativity to each sex?
Who says if it was a b and a g that they couldn't also get married at the same time? Do people seriously still expect the bride's family to pay for the wedding? Maybe I'm out of the loop but mh and I paid pretty much our own wedding...and both sets of parents helped out. As for prom? who cares? Be the parents...if they aren't happy with what you can afford, it's because you've let them be that way! Besides, you have no clue what their personalities will be like so what exactly is the point of thinking about that now?
I'm sorry if I'm coming off harsh...these types of mentalities really piss me off...I'm sure your husband and his grandmother are great people...but they really shouldn't be saying things like that to you...it's inconsiderate and irrelevant to them being girls.
For what it's worth, CONGRATS on two daughters...
as far as dh, i would just say "oh and i'm sure our son was NEVER going to play sports that are expensive"
doesn't matter what you have, boy or girl, they cost you money in one way or another lol. but think of it this way, at least with two girls (or if you would have had two boys), they can SHARE clothes. my daughters are going to be 2yrs apart, and i'm actually hoping they can share clothes when they get to high school!
as for everyone else, i wouldn't worry about it. everyone was so excited for us when we had our first dd, and now that we're having a second, i kinda got the same reaction.
what's important is that YOU'RE excited and happy! forget everyone else! lol
I am sorry you are going through this. Not that it makes much difference, but I am happy you are having 2 girls, it sounds like so much fun.
I think no matter what you were having there would be something someone wasn't happy with, for me its name choices, for others it may be parenting choices, etc. I guess it just comes with the territory, and there will likely be many things people disagree with you on regarding parenting from now on. I am sure once everyone gets used to the idea they will warm up to your 2 girls.
It may have been made worse by the 1st incorrect ultrasound, and people may not know what to say or how to react to the change, and might assume you are dissapointed. When I told my mother we were having a boy she asked if I was sad, which I thought was odd and rude. But, it had been previously mentioned to her (by a sister I think) that her "joking" about demanding a joy, was upsetting me, so she assumed that to mean I wanted a girl.
June Bugs Blog
I agree with you 110% It's as if people think you get to pick what you want, and even if I could, I had no preference one way or the other!
I think DH is just using the money issue to get his feelings across..I know deep down it has nothing to do with money, which is why it is making me mad!
Lost Lilah (Audra's twin) at 26 weeks. Cause unknown. Forever in our hearts
Lost Lilah (Audra's twin) at 26 weeks. Cause unknown. Forever in our hearts
This is very true. My sister had 3 adorable princesses and not only do they go to dance class, but they LOVE to go fishing with Daddy!
June Bugs Blog
Exactly! Hopefully he'll come around before they get here. If he's lucky they'll be total daddy's girls, be wrapped around their little fingers and he'll forget he ever felt this way. HAHAHA!!
I don't think any of this is real to a lot of guys until they hold the baby (or babies) in their arms. YH will melt the second he holds those baby girls. There's a reason most girls turn into daddy's girls.
As for everyone else? ::eye roll:: People will always have opinions and, unfortunately, aren't afraid to express them. I wonder about people's brain to mouth filter sometimes. But they, too, will get over it as things progress. Who can be upset about a baby when they are holding one? Especially 2 beautiful GPhi legacies
Lost Lilah (Audra's twin) at 26 weeks. Cause unknown. Forever in our hearts
I completely understand why you'd feel so frustrated. My DH had a moment of disappointment when the tech said "Well Dad, looks like you've got two girls!" But he quickly got excited about all the things he would get to do with them and teach them to make sure they could take care of themselves as women. When I asked him why he was disappointed, he said he just knows he'll be much more attached and protective of girls so he'll have a hard time letting go. He also said he was expecting his friends to make fun of him for having two girls but all of them were excited and some told him how special their relationships are with their daughters.
Maybe your DH needs to talk to some guys that have daughters...that might help. I'm sure time will help as well. And he definitly won't be able to resist those two little princesses when they are born!
Anywho...I'm excited for you!!! Team Double Pink all the way!
heres a pic because I just couldn't resist!
June Bugs Blog
People are idiots. Also, I would bet big money that the second your DH lays eyes on his two little girls that his heart will melt. We also got a lot of questions about whether we'd try for a boy next..... um no, we will feel lucky and blessed to have HEALTHY children whether boys or girls.
Baby #3 is another girl and people immediately ask how my husband feels about it and if we were hoping for a boy. I'm sure he'd love to have the chance to have a son, but we are over the moon to have a healthy pregnancy and 2 healthy toddlers.
Sorry this is happening - try to give your H a little bit of time and tell the others to back off.
We are also having 2 girls. I COMPLETELY understand how you feel.
We've had a few situations just like that. At 16w, the u/s tech said that she thinks we're having two girls but it's still a bit early to confirm 100%. When I told a few friends that we're most likely having 2 girls, several of them said, "oh so how do you feel about that?" I even had one friend say, "Oh my God, I'd die if I found out I was having two girls." It upset me beyond belief. I love my two little girls more than anything already and couldn't imagine it any other way
aww that makes me melt!!! I will definitely show DH this. Hopefully it will get him excited to see that girls like to fish too!
Lost Lilah (Audra's twin) at 26 weeks. Cause unknown. Forever in our hearts
You are right, I think I definitely need to give him some time and hopefully backing off a bit will let him see thins in his own light. Thanks!
Lost Lilah (Audra's twin) at 26 weeks. Cause unknown. Forever in our hearts
Everyone will eventually get in line with your excitment. I think it may be the shock... When I was originally told it was a boy all the inlaws were soooo excited. Then a week and half later they said oops we were wrong.... its a girl, my MIL and SIL threw the biggest fits. My MIL acted like she was 12. She was ignoring me, like it was my fault all because I wanted a girl all along. So I told her she was hurting my feelings and not to call me until she got over it! I explained to her that she ruined a very special moment that my husband and I will never get back! Then my hubby got upset becuase of the way his mom was acting. Eventually everyone got over it and all is well with the world again! Your family will do the same! You just continue to be double excited! Just think of how close the girls are going to be. They will be Best Friends! How fun!!!!!!! I am a twinge jealous ;-)
Our World!!
Blaine Emerson Bailey Rae
3-31-14 6-10-11
I'm sorry. It's no consolation now, but I'm sure once your husband has his two daughters, he won't be able to fathom anything different.
Have you said anything (& perhaps this is MY passive-agressive personality/way) like, "Wow. I hope no one EVER tells my girls how disappointed they were when we found out they were GIRLS." I'd selfishly want to make people feel a bit guilty, I admit! Not saying it's right
Hopefully everyone including your H will come around & realize comments are hurtful when you're the mom/parents to two healthy babies who are going to enjoy a very special relationship for the rest of their lives.
I'm annoyed FOR you...but I hope time will make it better. The bottom line is your incredible, beautiful news...
TWO HEALTHY BABIES!
"5.01.09"
I'm so sorry people are acting like that! I, for one, would LOVE to have twin girls- I can't think of anything more fun. I am one of 2 girls and absolutely loved having a sister growing up.
That is absolutely awful !!
That's part of the reason we're Team Green. No one will show disapointment over the gender once the cute little baby is here. Same with the reason we aren't telling anyone our names.
Good grief! I can't believe that people are behaving this way. Your whole post got me so angry. My babies are girls too and I remember people reacting as though they were sorry for DH and me. I have to admit, I was a little bummed about not having one of each, just because I want to have a daughter and a son someday, but I feel like the reactions you got and the reactions I got are indicative of a very large and disturbing social problem. AHHH!
But, on a happier note- Welcome to team pink! I am so glad that you are not letting other people get you down about having two beautiful little girls. Girls rule!