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May 2011 Moms
Overly-involved mom? (slight vent)
Anyone else's mom getting overly involved in their pregnancies? I'm 27 weeks today with my first baby (a little girl!), and my mother's first grandchild. I know my mom is very excited, and means well, but she's driving me up the wall!!
My mom said she wanted to throw the baby shower for me, but was stressing over where to have it and how she was going to prepare all the food (her house is smaller and well, she doesn't cook!) So my friend offered up her house and to provide all the food, which my mom gladly accepted. Now my mom is complaining that the shower is supposed to be hers and it's all being taken from her, and got morbidly offended when my sister wanted to include my friend's name on the shower invitation. Then she got mad at my sister last night for putting my sister's phone number down as the RSVP for the shower invitations, which my sister designed and is ordering, instead of my mother's number.
These are little things, but there are SO many of them (far too many to post!). I just feel like she's always judging my decisions for everything from my need to return to work (which I have to do for financial reasons!) to the color of the nursery (which apparently is far too dark purple - we should have done something more lavendar). We haven't even broached the subject of the delivery room, but I read that post too and there's no way she can be in there! The cake topper - she refers to my baby as "ours". Again, I know she's excited, but something about that just bothers me - I don't think she was there with DH and myself! Maybe I need to let her off the hook.........anyone else's mom's driving them nuts?
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Re: Overly-involved mom? (slight vent)
Yes, without question.
It's unfortunate I have to be "mean" often to get my point across but every time she crosses the line, she gets as gentle of a correction as I can give her.
Often we go from "my grandbaby" back to "whatever you think is best" after one of those conversations.
Unfortunately after a couple of weeks we end up back to my grandbaby won't do this or will do that, we have to have another conversation.
It's not pleasant, but I'd rather put it out there and get her back on the same page as my husband and I before it gets too out of control that it's beyond the point where you can reestablish those boundaries.
oh gosh, i'm so sorry...that would drive me crazy! i would suggest just choosing your battles. you still want to protect your relationship with your mom, but maybe she just needs a few boundaries set. It will probably be difficult, but you need to start letting her know the things that bother you, otherwise it might all pent up and you may explode on her one day. sorry, i don't mean to sound preachy. just offering my two cents.