how are you handling this? are they coming a few days prior to your edd? or are they just awaiting your call that you've been admitted to l&d? my parents live ~3 hours away and plan to wait for our call that we've been admitted and hope for the best. dh and i agreed to have my mom, mil and of course him in the room during the first phase of labor, but once it comes time to push, just him. just wondering what others have decided to do.
Re: gals with parents a distance away...
Our 3 of our parents live 3 hours away and my dad lives even farther. We weren't going to let people in the L&D room. So we just waited until she was born to call (we had a planned induction) to give them the scoop other than a 1-2 calls during induction to update on progress.
We delivered in the blizzard last week so that kind of limited family visiting. As my husband told his mom-I know you want to see the baby but i'd rather her have a grandma for the next 45+ years rather than you try to drive to see her now and get in an accident. We delivered 2/2 Wed AM and my mom and sisters came up Thu night -after roads were cleared up. And DH's parents came up Saturday and Sunday. Waited until then because our LO was jaundice/needed to stay under bili lights all day/night Friday except for short feeding breaks.
Had the roads not been so bad/baby not needed lights DH's parents probably would have been up on Wed/Thu after work.
For my dad he's waiting until the baptism in ~1month to see baby on a concrete date (he lives in NE and we're in IL) hoping that the weather will cooperate.
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Both my parents and DH's parents live 3 to 4 hours away (depending on Chicago traffic).
I'm aiming for a non-medicated birth, so only my parents are approved to be in the L&D room with me and only if I call for them. It's DH's responsibility to make sure that both are in a very calm and relaxed state before they are allowed in the room. I don't need my mother's excitement upping my adrenaline and closing things up. DH will call my parents when we leave for the hospital (we won't have them leave their house until we are admitted though); I'm planning to do as much laboring at home as possible. I figure my parents should still have plenty of time to get there if I have the 12 hours of active labor I anticipate. And if they don't get there in time, I'm okay with that.
DH's parents will be called when we are admitted, just for information only. It is up to them if they want to sit around in the waiting room during the entire process. But under no circumstances do I want them in the L&D room. I think the best thing for them (we have not discussed any of this with them yet) is to call them after the baby is out, then they can come meet us at the hospital either that day or the next day depending on the time of birth.
Neither set of parents will be coming to our house the first week following delivery. We want it to be just us figuring things out and starting this adventure. Any future grandparents that do visit us in the hospital will be staying in a hotel or driving back home that day. At first I thought it would be rude to request that, but when my parents offered to get a hotel and my friends and cousins that already have kids suggested spending the first night home alone, I jumped at the idea.
My parents were not far so distance was not an issue. I did not want my mom in the room while I was in labor because I know she would not want to see me in pain.
Once I had the epidural I was in such a great mood. I had my mom stay in the room while I pushed and they had her hold one leg with H holding the other. My mom got to watch my DS being born. She actually cries when she talks about it and how it was the most wonderful thing. I'm so glad she was there and would have her there again if I ever decide to have a 2nd baby.
My family live halfway across the nation. DH and I live on East Coast and family back in the Midwest (Kansas/Nebraska).
They (Mom, Dad, Sister, and Niece) are booking last minute (eek, price) flight tickets once we know for sure I'm in labor.
DH's parents are driving halfway across the nation 5-7 days after my family is here (staggering the help and visitors).