F/U to my MIL's visit

ShannonLK · February 2011

I talked with DH and told him that since his mom is traveling all this way for Logan's bday the least we could do was to put her up in a hotel room so she would be comfortable.

He texted her to let her know what we were going to do. She texted back and said that wasn't necessary and that she could just sleep on an air mattress or something. Then suggested that we put an air mattress in Logan's room and she could sleep there.

Dear Jesus, please help me!!

vanverth · February 2011

This is said assuming that DH knows and understands that his mother drives you crazy. I wonder if he sent the text in the form of a question. Perhaps it needs to be sent as a statement of fact that she will be staying in a hotel rather than in your home. Sometimes people need to know what the expectations are and what is reality and what is their fantasy.

M.Amy · February 2011

If she pushes back just say you want her to feel comfortable and that you insist.

ShannonLK · February 2011

vanverth:
This is said assuming that DH knows and understands that his mother drives you crazy. I wonder if he sent the text in the form of a question. Perhaps it needs to be sent as a statement of fact that she will be staying in a hotel rather than in your home. Sometimes people need to know what the expectations are and what is reality and what is their fantasy.

It was sent as a statement of fact...ooy.

carladillon · February 2011

IMO, knowing how she is, I would not have texted it. It should have been a conversation on the phone so there was no misunderstanding. Hopefully the visit will go quickly.

ShannonLK · February 2011

I agree Carla. That was DH's doing. I'm sure though that she would've been the same way over the phone. DH probably just didn't want to hear it. lol

superaunt · February 2011

oy! and how long will she be there?

ShannonLK · February 2011

4 days. She is going to stay in the hotel. One way or another. Lol. DH said we could stay in the hotel room and she could keep Logan. I told him we could stay in the hotel room with Logan and she could keep the dog. Ive never left him overnight and I'm not read yet.

KirstieC · February 2011

M.Amy:
If she pushes back just say you want her to feel comfortable and that you insist.

This. It's more comfortable for everyone involved if you all have your own space. Another idea would be for your MIL to sleep on the couch and YOU stay in a hotel. Heck, I would take that if it was offered to me :-)

Daisiesinmygarden · February 2011

Yikes. Maybe the next text - and I loathe texting - would be to say, "Great news, we booked your hotel and were able to get you such and such (what ever would sound positive/wonderful) and it's only a few minutes away!" I don't think I'd give her ALL the details, lest she call and cancel the reservation. Two can play *oblivious*....

ShannonLK · February 2011

I don't know what I'm worried about. My SIL (her daughter) will be 38 weeks pregnant with her first child. She is 21, isn't married and the father isn't in the picture. It wouldn't surprise me for something to come up and my MIL not be able to come.

ShannonLK · February 2011

I don't know what I'm worried about. My SIL (her daughter) will be 38 weeks pregnant with her first child. She is 21, isn't married and the father isn't in the picture. It wouldn't surprise me for something to come up and my MIL not be able to come.

Sorry, nothing negative on her age or the fact that she isn't married. Just that my IL's are her support system.

stever · February 2011

M.Amy:
If she pushes back just say you want her to feel comfortable and that you insist.

NewMrs07 · February 2011

When my mom came to visit she slept in A's room, on a futon. A's room used to be 2 rooms but the landlord took the wall down, so it's now a huge room. I put the crib on one side and the futon on the other side, so plenty of space in between. I liked having mom there b/c she was the one waking up to get him at 6:30am! I think she was tired though, I bet she would have preferred to sleep in a separate room so she could get some sleep.

Maybe you can have your DH mention to your MIL that she might be woken up multiple times in L's room if she sleeps there. Make it seem really uncomfortable so that she might agree to stay in a hotel or at least in a separate room.

I hope things work out, it's so hard to have guests in the house once you have kids. Everything seems so much more difficult ((hugs)).

NewMrs07 · February 2011

OK, I just read your other post and am finally caught up, lol. So you don't have a spare bedroom, you're situation is like ours. We only have 2 bdrms and the 2nd bdrm is A's room, only we also put a futon for guests in the far corner of his room, which is huge.

I know my folks or my MIL would never stay in a hotel, they would be so offended and sad. What we thought of doing if my MIL stays with us is give her our bedroom and us sleep on the futon in A's room. Have you thought about that? It would not be as comfortable for you two but your MIL would be happy. I think your DH would be happy too, if his mom was at your house. I know my DH would never, ever put his mom in a hotel. Unless she was here for more than a month and then we would consider renting her a small apt. nearby, for her comfort.

Let us know what happens!

Daisiesinmygarden · February 2011

So, ahemm, I am guessing YOU can't go stay at the hotel without starting WW III, LOL. Sorry I feel your pain. I prefer to stay in a hotel when we go down to visit my MIL, but you would think I squatted and peed right on their couch when we do this. Whenever we come down they insist on sending my neice up, so with DH, I, my ILS, and neice and sometimes SIL... That is 8 or 9 people in a two bedroom house. I wont get into the rest of it, but let's just say, that is just the tip of the iceberg.

ShannonLK · February 2011

NewMrs07:
OK, I just read your other post and am finally caught up, lol. So you don't have a spare bedroom, you're situation is like ours. We only have 2 bdrms and the 2nd bdrm is A's room, only we also put a futon for guests in the far corner of his room, which is huge.
I know my folks or my MIL would never stay in a hotel, they would be so offended and sad. What we thought of doing if my MIL stays with us is give her our bedroom and us sleep on the futon in A's room. Have you thought about that? It would not be as comfortable for you two but your MIL would be happy. I think your DH would be happy too, if his mom was at your house. I know my DH would never, ever put his mom in a hotel. Unless she was here for more than a month and then we would consider renting her a small apt. nearby, for her comfort.
Let us know what happens!

Logan's room is small, too small for an air mattress or futon. It's the perfect size room for him, but as it is now there is just no room for anything else. Honestly, DH doesn't care if his mom is in a hotel. LOL. Considering she is still holding a grudge about staying in a hotel for our wedding I think she is pissed that we want to put her in a hotel now. Like I said earlier though, she did stay with us after Logan was born, but that's when Logan was in our room and we had beds set up in his room. At least we are offering to pay for it. I was hoping she would be happy. It'll be like a mini-vacation for her esp since my BIL and his son live with her now. You'd think she would want some peace & quiet!

ShannonLK · February 2011

Daisiesinmygarden:
So, ahemm, I am guessing YOU can't go stay at the hotel without starting WW III, LOL. Sorry I feel your pain. I prefer to stay in a hotel when we go down to visit my MIL, but you would think I squatted and peed right on their couch when we do this. Whenever we come down they insist on sending my neice up, so with DH, I, my ILS, and neice and sometimes SIL... That is 8 or 9 people in a two bedroom house. I wont get into the rest of it, but let's just say, that is just the tip of the iceberg.

I'm sure that would cause quite a stir, lol, cause I would take Logan with me. HAHAHA.

We've visited my IL's twice since moving to IN. Now my BIL and his son live with them too. If we visit again, we will stay in a hotel. I like my space and when things get crowded I get cranky.

Daisiesinmygarden · February 2011

ShannonL.K:

Daisiesinmygarden:
So, ahemm, I am guessing YOU can't go stay at the hotel without starting WW III, LOL. Sorry I feel your pain. I prefer to stay in a hotel when we go down to visit my MIL, but you would think I squatted and peed right on their couch when we do this. Whenever we come down they insist on sending my neice up, so with DH, I, my ILS, and neice and sometimes SIL... That is 8 or 9 people in a two bedroom house. I wont get into the rest of it, but let's just say, that is just the tip of the iceberg.

I'm sure that would cause quite a stir, lol, cause I would take Logan with me. HAHAHA.

We've visited my IL's twice since moving to IN. Now my BIL and his son live with them too. If we visit again, we will stay in a hotel. I like my space and when things get crowded I get cranky.

Oh, yes, I meant for you and the baby (and possibly DH if he played his cards right) to stay at the hotel. No way in h*ll I would leave my LO with them. Sh knows this.

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