So as your child gets older and plays at other's house.....

abrightgirl · February 2011

Would you ask the parents certain questions before you leave your child with them?

The whole story about the ferret eating the sleeping baby's fingers (isn't that horrible) got me thinking.....when my LO gets older and plays at a friend's house...would you ask about pets, etc. Not to be paranoid....but I never knew ferrets aren't very good animals around small children until i read about this horrible event...so it got me to thinking what about a big dog or other potential risks...so would you ask them about their pets, etc. No not interrogate or anything but questions like do you have pets? What kind of pets are they? Who will be home?

This isn't about judging but no way would I want my child near a exotic pet like a ferret or a snake or something!

Kery1499 · February 2011

Of course I would ask if I had some questions. after all you are leaving your kid somewhere.. I wouldnt feel bad/awkward at all.. and I agree with what you said btw snakes etc. I would be nervous idk

abrightgirl · February 2011

I guess I am asking...how and what do you ask....and not just about pets. Would you ask if they have a gun in the house, etc. Gosh this makes me sound paranoid......I have never gone to someone's house and asked something like that but it is soooooo different when you are thinking of your LO isn't it?

mcbray21 · February 2011

Yes, absolutely. When I was in school and going to a friend's house for the first time, my parents always insisted on meeting and talking with the parents first. I understand what you're saying about the questions though. I think the important thing is to know the people that you are leaving your child with. I want to feel 100% confident that DD will be taken care of just as if she was with me and DH. That is NOT being paranoid.

LoveEeyore · February 2011

Frankly I'd lie. I'd say my LO has a number of allergies(this is true, but none known to animals), are there pets in the home. I'd do it via email, though b/c I'm a terrible liar and would stutter and fumble if she said "why how interesting, what animals..."

But my twins, I have an easy "out." I'd say they are very bad around animals- rough and loud. Are there animals that she'd be unable to keep away from the kids. My twins are SOOOOOO rough with animals.

bim38106 · February 2011

mcbray21:
Yes, absolutely. When I was in school and going to a friend's house for the first time, my parents always insisted on meeting and talking with the parents first. I understand what you're saying about the questions though. I think the important thing is to know the people that you are leaving your child with. I want to feel 100% confident that DD will be taken care of just as if she was with me and DH. That is NOT being paranoid.

Yes

I guess I should say, how old is the child we're talking about... For now, DD1 (almost 3yo) wouldn't stay at anyone's house that I don't know WELL. So there's not an issue of asking because I already know. I know which of my friends have guns in their homes and if they have pets, and what their parenting style is. I do have one friend who, if she were ever to watch my kids at her home, I would ask her where she kept the guns and if they were locked up and not loaded. Just to ease my mind. But we know each other well enough that she wouldn't be offended by that.

As the girls get older, I know that will be harder to do (know her friends' parents that well). I guess we'll see how it is when the time comes.. but my thought now is that I will have spoken to the mom/parents enough to feel comfortable with DD going there, and I'd like to come in for a little while and see the home before leaving DD there.

Once they hit high school....ugh, I don't know how it'll go. I don't want to think that far into the future just yet! LOL.

abrightgirl · February 2011

My LO is 18 mos....I am not leaving her at anyone's house...I was thinking about the years ahead! It was one of those things that when I heard this terrible story about the ferret eating the child's fingers (7 of them - poor thing)....that my husband and I were talking about what you ask people when you let your child play over.....seems different from when I was little....my mom was a stay at home mom as were most of the women in our neighborhood back then and all the women knew each other, etc on our street....but we don't live in a place like that anymore so I was thinking about the people you don't know very well when your child is older......

DEBBIE33CASEY · February 2011

ugh... the things I never thought of. I guess like PP said it might depend on the age of the kid... right now DD isn't spending time at anyone's house alone unless its someone I already know the answers to the important questions. I guess only time will tell for how comfortable I'll feel in the future.

sunnyday016 · February 2011

Yes, I'd probably ask that type of stuff. I'd definitely want to know if they have a gun and what types of pets they have. I'm leery of big dogs, so I'd be wanting to know about the animal's temperament.

Jocelyn0415 · February 2011

I heard a really disturbing story this morning that seriously makes me want to never let Evie go to a sleepover ever.

***Warning: Disturbing***

Apparently, a man here in KC was arrested for the rape and sodomy of an 8 year old girl. The little girl was spending the night at her friend's house and the mother's boyfriend, who was a registered sex offender and was in jail for sodomy 2 years before this, raped her so badly that she had to have surgery because her injuries were so bad.

Honestly, I think the sleepovers will have to happen at our house. I know that may sound extreme, but it freaks me out that not only are people like this out there in the world, but they're one town away from me. I just feel like I can't take any chances. It's sad, but true.

anna7602 · February 2011

It's hard to say without being at this stage yet with DD, but I would really hope that I know her parents' friends in the future the way I usually do now and that I would have been to the home before or have other friends who know the parents well. This is probably unrealistic by the time she gets a lot older, but in kindergarten or 1st grade, I don't think it's that weird to say "hey, thanks for inviting my child to your house next week, wanna try to have coffee at your place while the kids play" or something like that.

avbliss · February 2011

I will for sure. I'd want to know pets, if any person in the house smokes, and get a general sense of their parenting style. I hope I'll be friends with my kids friends parents, enough to know these things before DD plays over there with out me, but at the very least I would want to know how they plan to discipline my child if they misbehave. I'm completely ok with another mom correcting my child, and would hope that should a situation arise that warrants discipline that they wouldn't hesitate to correct DD, but I would want to know what kind of discipline they use.

Singingmama · February 2011

For now, I wouldn't let my child stay at someone's house, unless I knew the people, house, pets, habits, etc. very well. As she gets older, I guess it'll all depend on where she's wanting to go. I will definitely not be letting her run off to play at just anybody's house, but I don't think I'll be the type to be super paranoid about other people's houses.

I plan on always keeping a conversation going with my daughter about her friends and their families. If I ever had a bad feeling about one of my daughter's friends or their family, then I'd probably encourage her to play with that friend at our house instead of their house. If she wanted to spend the night at a friend's house, I would definitely need to meet with and talk to the parents before she'd be allowed to stay the night.

This is an interesting post, it really has me thinking about how I'll handle this type of situation in the future. Sometimes, I have a really hard time thinking about DD being anything other than a baby/young toddler. It amazes me when I'm teaching my students to think that, one day, my daughter will just like them.

LauranBilly · February 2011

Geeze! Thats crazy!

but Yes i will be asking questions.

hokies94 · February 2011

I have older kids in elementary school (6 and almost 8). I've never asked these questions to any of the parents whose houses they've played at. They started having playdates without me around 4 with kids from their preschool classes. I knew the parents well enough but never thought to ask about pets. We have no allergies and my kids don't have aversions to pets so it never occurred to me.

My oldest is now starting to go on playdates after school with kids I don't know as well-I know the parents just not that well. We always talk about what she did on the playdate. I've never felt uncomfortable letting her go. It's a fairly small school community and everyone seems to know each other.

Pixiestix4evahFan · February 2011

i need to know more about this ferret story?

Want a personalized experience?

So as your child gets older and plays at other's house.....

Re: So as your child gets older and plays at other's house.....

Choose Another Board

Search Boards