How am I going to beat this idea out of his head?

LienLa · February 2011

My boyfriend was telling me the other day that when I'm in labor it will be harder to be him than me because quote "It's harder to watch someone that is in pain than be the person that's in pain". At first I laughed because I thought this was just some kind of humor of his until he went into his explanation and I realized he is being totally serious. He said he totally agrees I will be in more physical pain but he will be in more emotional pain and that's worse. I asked how he figured and he said well like you know when you see a dog or something that's broken it's leg, maybe there's a little blood coming out, and he's kind of just whimpering and limping along? Well sure the dog is hurting but now picture you, you are like OMG look at that poor dog! and you care a lot that the dog is in pain more than the dog does. Well that's how labor is going to be for him I guess. I said well how about I kick you really hard in the nuts and just as you start to feel relief from the pain I will kick you again. And in between I will sit there going "Just breathe hunny! Don't forget to breathe!" Because I guarantee that I won't be in as much pain as you, and he said no that's a totally different situation. So how the heck do I kick this idea from his head?

BetchySprout · February 2011

Your husband is an idiot.

BackBayGrrl · February 2011

Laugh it off for now and have a bowl of ice cream

He'll see what it's like when you get there!

pixiern · February 2011

Hit him in the head with a frying pan then proceed to kick him in the nuts. Tell him it's hurting you more to see him in pain.....

Stellasmom · February 2011

I wouldn't bother trying. He won't get it.

growingmybun · February 2011

I try not to say this about people's SOs, but yours is being ridiculous.

suscq · February 2011

BackBayGrrl:
Laugh it off for now and have a bowl of ice cream He'll see what it's like when you get there!

This. After labor, you can make fun of him for ever saying it.

PinkGirlInCali · February 2011

Pattypoundcake:
Your husband is an idiot.

Lmao! This.

grace_smith03 · February 2011

Bwhahahahaha! This is an easy one...when you're in labor, punch his junk and then TWIST!!!! As he's writhing in pain and puking in the corner, give him the doe eyes and tell him you couldn't stand seeing him in so much pain.....

sleepingbeauty825 · February 2011

That is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard.

smiling76 · February 2011

That's sweet that he's given this some thought---but having said that, I say kick him in the nuts. HARD.

urbanflowerpot · February 2011

I don't think there's anything wrong with what he said - he obviously loves you very much. Guys have a funny way of wording things sometimes, but the message is loud and clear. ...at least to me.

toadstool · February 2011

sleepingbeauty825:
That is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard.

this

MommaA117 · February 2011

don't let him make this about HIM! Let him watch a few birth videos. Take him to a labor class....he will learn.

Nomer · February 2011

Tell him: The difference is that he can walk away from it if it gets "too difficult" but that you have no choice but to endure it. We are all like OMG at the dog with the broken leg but when we walk away we forget about it almost immediately, but the dog still has the broken leg. Emotional pain is optional and he can control it. That is what he needs to get ready for- just like you need to get ready for the physical pain. I can't say he doesn't have a point because I can picture my husband saying something similar (and they have the best intentions) but if I had the choice I would choose the emotional pain any day. He is being selfish to say that his pain will be worse.

kate05 · February 2011

Pattypoundcake:
Your husband is an idiot.

This.

Off topic, but you have the TARDIS in your siggy! I adore you.

princess101 · February 2011

For some people it is very hard to watch others in pain. Will he be in as much emotional pain as you are physically...no way. It sucks to see someone in the middle of labor and see the pain they're in and feel like you can't do much for them if anything. Sensitive people have a really hard time because of feeling helpless and knowing there's nothing they can do.

I would say, do birthing classes and give him things he can do to at least try to help you when you're in that pain. Let him know he CAN help and although it might be hard to watch, you will need him. Also, talk about how he might be able to take a break if needed. Will anybody else be in the room so that if he needs a moment he can take one w/o feeling guilty?

I don't think he's an idiot, just uninformed.

mabamm2007 · February 2011

I agree that sometimes guys say the wrong things at the wrong times. I mean clearly labor will be harder for you. Although on the bright side he obviosly really loves you and doesnt want to see you in pain. Plus afterwords you'll be able to hold your little one and neither one of you will be thinking about pain at that moment. Oh and hes a man so nothing you can say or do will change his pigheadedness. Good luck though!

MissMommyMac · February 2011

urbanflowerpot:

I don't think there's anything wrong with what he said - he obviously loves you very much. Guys have a funny way of wording things sometimes, but the message is loud and clear. ...at least to me.

I think the way he said it was dumb but he clearly cares a ton about you. He will see how it really is once it happens.

mcwhittaker · February 2011

LienLa:
My boyfriend was telling me the other day that when I'm in labor it will be harder to be him than me because quote "It's harder to watch someone that is in pain than be the person that's in pain". At first I laughed because I thought this was just some kind of humor of his until he went into his explanation and I realized he is being totally serious. He said he totally agrees I will be in more physical pain but he will be in more emotional pain and that's worse. I asked how he figured and he said well like you know when you see a dog or something that's broken it's leg, maybe there's a little blood coming out, and he's kind of just whimpering and limping along? Well sure the dog is hurting but now picture you, you are like OMG look at that poor dog! and you care a lot that the dog is in pain more than the dog does. Well that's how labor is going to be for him I guess. I said well how about I kick you really hard in the nuts and just as you start to feel relief from the pain I will kick you again. And in between I will sit there going "Just breathe hunny! Don't forget to breathe!" Because I guarantee that I won't be in as much pain as you, and he said no that's a totally different situation. So how the heck do I kick this idea from his head?

You're not going to change the idea, and the possibility that you have a lot less empathy than he does has probably eluded you.

Some men are extremely protective of their significant others, and being there helpless to do anything about it.. is very rough on them.

In the end, when the baby has been delivered, you won't be in as much pain but he'll still feel helpless.

kristennd · February 2011

When your child gets hurt, will he also focus then on his own 'pain' instead?

klv · February 2011

pixiern:
Hit him in the head with a frying pan then proceed to kick him in the nuts. Tell him it's hurting you more to see him in pain.....

Yes

Skibunny07 · February 2011

I swear guys always think that whatever they are going through is worse then what you are going through no matter what. Like when you both get the flu but his is way worse. My DH had to have a colonoscopy a couple of years ago and right around the same time I had to have a LEEP procedure down to remove the dysplasia on my cervix. He claimed that his was way worse then mine. I said to him, you had a tube stuck up your butt and you were knocked out for it! I had to be awake and they basically took electrical current and peeled my cervix like an apple and the local anesthetic they gave me didn't work and I felt the whole thing! How is yours worse? He said because guys aren't supposed to have things stuck up their butt haha.

pixiern · February 2011

Skibunny07:
I swear guys always think that whatever they are going through is worse then what you are going through no matter what. Like when you both get the flu but his is way worse. My DH had to have a colonoscopy a couple of years ago and right around the same time I had to have a LEEP procedure down to remove the dysplasia on my cervix. He claimed that his was way worse then mine. I said to him, you had a tube stuck up your butt and you were knocked out for it! I had to be awake and they basically took electrical current and peeled my cervix like an apple and the local anesthetic they gave me didn't work and I felt the whole thing! How is yours worse? He said because guys aren't supposed to have things stuck up their butt haha.

Guys are such babies! I'm pretty sure we aren't suppose to have an electric current peel off a layer of our cervix. I guess we know why men don't have babies! Smile

Lithigin · February 2011

smiling76:
That's sweet that he's given this some thought---but having said that, I say kick him in the nuts. HARD.

This! Then see if you can implant a kidney stone so he can get the physical commiseration out of the way before you give birth to his child.

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