TTC After a Loss

cd1 and in a bad place- rambling....

i have been such an emotional mess- hence the reason i haven't been posting much.  another cd1 today after i had great hope for this cycle thanks to major MF and lots of BD.  plus some insensitive msgs from my FH cousin who had her baby in december.  apparently i have caused her a lot of anxiety b/c of ella's passing and that she is sad that she can't share her newborn daughter with me b/c "she is a painful reminder." UGH.  oh- and a well meaning coworker asked last night how things were going in the baby making dept- after fridays' bfn i had been waiting for AF and started tearing up and could barely answer.  i guess it was a bad idea to wean off of zoloft last month.  i'll be putting a call into the ob tmrw to tell her i need to be back on it... i've been a hysterical crying disaster and poor DH has been so wonderful to put up with me.  i'm just so so sad and flustered and want to be able to smile again...

sorry for the rambling... to anyone who made it this far... Drinks or Beer for you

Re: cd1 and in a bad place- rambling....

  • Sad I would be lying if I said I didn't have days like those. I'm so sorry for all the stress you are under. And also for insensitive people. Don't worry about your cousin, she is just being dumb, sorry to say. 

    big ((hugs)) Come on here anytime you are feeling like this, I can guarantee you you will not be alone in your feelings.  

  • Loading the player...
  • ((big hugs)) we are here for you sweetie on days like this.. Everyone of us have had these type of days. I'm sorry about AF. Hope this next cycle is yours.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • i'm so sorry!! {big hugs} you know you aren't alone either!!! 
    image Robbie's Blog
    DD #1 born 10/21/03

    DD #2 born 2/8/06

    DS no hb 11/17/10 at 21w1d, d&e 11/24,demise due to fetal hydrops, from congestive heart failure, probably caused by structural malformation

    Our Rango....BFP 2/6/11...hb on 2/23...perfectly healthy, but no hb on 6/9/11 d & e 6/15/2011
    Rango's Blog
  • Both your cousin and coworker are idiots, and I'm sorry about CD1. *HUGS*
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Oh hon, I'm very sorry.  I can't believe that your cousin is being such a b!tch.  I'm sorry if that's mean - but give me a break!  She's actually upset with you because she can't share her happiness with you because of Ella.  It's not all about her and she really needs to understand that - and I hope to hell that she never has to feel the pain that you've gone through in the last couple of months.  ((HUGE HUGS))

    As for CD1 - it really, really sucks.  I was with you a couple of days ago.  This was the first cycle that I actually though I might be pg, but was terribly disappointed when AF showed.  I'm so sorry.  I hope next cycle is the one for you!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Siggy Warning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • thank you all.  your kindness amazes me.

    i hope we clear this board out this month with BFPs for all

    ::hugs::

    and big big thanks

  • Oh, honey, I'm sorry.  ((Hugs)).
  • I understand completely. I'm CD1 today too. 15 months since we started, and all I have is one blighted ovum to show for it.  We deserve to let ourselves have bad days. I'd burst if I tried to hold it all in.  ((hugs)) 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • sorry that you are in a bad place....im not sure i ever left there yet. soon enough there will be a brighter day ahead. not a day that you forget about your heartache or your baby or your loss, but a day that you feel a little better. and that will be a great day. 

    you will get your take home baby. we all will. the road is sucky, winding, bumpy, and at times feels like a never ending journey but at the end we will get a take home baby.....somehow.

    hugs.

    DC:#1 10/2006 born at 40 weeks (33 weeks PTL)
    DC#2 born silent at 22 weeks 1.11.11
    Dc#3 born vbac 1/2012 <bra DC#4 born VBAC 3/2014
  • You didn't ramble and that is what we are here for. Huge ((hugs)) to you during this tough time. I hate your AF for showing up and I hope its the last one for a very long time. I think it is really unfair that your cousin tries to make this about her. I cannot stand when people do that.

    All you can do is the best you can....no one should expect more. You are strong and doing great. Please lean on us whenever you need.

    BFP #1 6/18/10 Saw HB 7/15/10 Missed M/C 8/17/10 @ 12 weeks 2 days- 2 D&C's( 8/20 and 8/26) BFP#2 11/21/10 Nonviable at 5wks, possible ectopic. Methotrexate 12/3/10&12/9/10 BFP#3 3/10/11 Beta@12dpo 39 Beta@14dpo 160! 21 DPO 2439 HB at 7wks 127 EDD 11/17/11
    ITS A BOY!!!! Born 11/13/11 BFP #4: 10/29/12 edd 7/11/12
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • BIG ((hugs)) to you!
    BFP#1 10/5/09 | Heartbeat 11/1/09 | D&C 11/24/09 (no hb)
    BFP#2 02/18/11 * Beta@15dpo=215 * @18dpo=698 * @20dpo=2337 * @25dpo=10,931 * DS Arrived October 24, 2011
    BFP#3 08/12 | D&C 9/12 (no hb)
    BFP#4 Due May 1, 2014 Stick baby stick!
  • I'm so sorry about CD1. It sucks - a lot. I can't believe your stupid cousin would say that YOU are causing HER anxiety. Seriously? It's a shame you can't share her newborn fun (I am in the same boat with my best friend) but it's much more of a shame for you. YOU are the one suffering.

    I'm really sorry you're having such a hard weekend. I've been there, I think we all have had those endless crying days. Sending you huge hugs.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP#1 - 8/27/10 - D&C 10/27/10 @ 13 weeks to Trisomy 18
    Missing our Angel Baby Gabriel
    BFP#2 - 3/18/11 - CP 3/19/11 BFP#3 - 4/27/11 - Due 1/9/12
  • *hugs*  I've had those days, and they suck.  Your cousin can get the eff over herself, if she doesn't get why that's painful then she's a total idiot.  
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • (((HUG))) I just wish I could take the sadness out of your post. CD1 really sucks. I'm sorry that people can't understand where you are- but know that you've got friends here, and we'll carry you when you need us. I'm keeping you in my T&P and hoping this is your month! (((HUG))) 

    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
  • You are not alone honey. I am a royal mess. (((hugs)))
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"