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TTC After a Loss
cd1 and in a bad place- rambling....
i have been such an emotional mess- hence the reason i haven't been posting much. another cd1 today after i had great hope for this cycle thanks to major MF and lots of BD. plus some insensitive msgs from my FH cousin who had her baby in december. apparently i have caused her a lot of anxiety b/c of ella's passing and that she is sad that she can't share her newborn daughter with me b/c "she is a painful reminder." UGH. oh- and a well meaning coworker asked last night how things were going in the baby making dept- after fridays' bfn i had been waiting for AF and started tearing up and could barely answer. i guess it was a bad idea to wean off of zoloft last month. i'll be putting a call into the ob tmrw to tell her i need to be back on it... i've been a hysterical crying disaster and poor DH has been so wonderful to put up with me. i'm just so so sad and flustered and want to be able to smile again...
sorry for the rambling... to anyone who made it this far... 
or 
for you
This discussion has been closed.
Re: cd1 and in a bad place- rambling....
big ((hugs)) Come on here anytime you are feeling like this, I can guarantee you you will not be alone in your feelings.
DD #1 born 10/21/03
DD #2 born 2/8/06
DS no hb 11/17/10 at 21w1d, d&e 11/24,demise due to fetal hydrops, from congestive heart failure, probably caused by structural malformation
Our Rango....BFP 2/6/11...hb on 2/23...perfectly healthy, but no hb on 6/9/11 d & e 6/15/2011
Rango's Blog
Oh hon, I'm very sorry. I can't believe that your cousin is being such a b!tch. I'm sorry if that's mean - but give me a break! She's actually upset with you because she can't share her happiness with you because of Ella. It's not all about her and she really needs to understand that - and I hope to hell that she never has to feel the pain that you've gone through in the last couple of months. ((HUGE HUGS))
As for CD1 - it really, really sucks. I was with you a couple of days ago. This was the first cycle that I actually though I might be pg, but was terribly disappointed when AF showed. I'm so sorry. I hope next cycle is the one for you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Siggy Warning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thank you all. your kindness amazes me.
i hope we clear this board out this month with BFPs for all
::hugs::
and big big thanks
sorry that you are in a bad place....im not sure i ever left there yet. soon enough there will be a brighter day ahead. not a day that you forget about your heartache or your baby or your loss, but a day that you feel a little better. and that will be a great day.
you will get your take home baby. we all will. the road is sucky, winding, bumpy, and at times feels like a never ending journey but at the end we will get a take home baby.....somehow.
hugs.
DC#2 born silent at 22 weeks 1.11.11
Dc#3 born vbac 1/2012 <bra DC#4 born VBAC 3/2014
You didn't ramble and that is what we are here for. Huge ((hugs)) to you during this tough time. I hate your AF for showing up and I hope its the last one for a very long time. I think it is really unfair that your cousin tries to make this about her. I cannot stand when people do that.
All you can do is the best you can....no one should expect more. You are strong and doing great. Please lean on us whenever you need.
ITS A BOY!!!! Born 11/13/11 BFP #4: 10/29/12 edd 7/11/12
BFP#2 02/18/11 * Beta@15dpo=215 * @18dpo=698 * @20dpo=2337 * @25dpo=10,931 * DS Arrived October 24, 2011
BFP#3 08/12 | D&C 9/12 (no hb)
BFP#4 Due May 1, 2014 Stick baby stick!
<a href="http://s699.photobucket.com/albums/vv353/guppyamy/?action=view
I'm so sorry about CD1. It sucks - a lot. I can't believe your stupid cousin would say that YOU are causing HER anxiety. Seriously? It's a shame you can't share her newborn fun (I am in the same boat with my best friend) but it's much more of a shame for you. YOU are the one suffering.
I'm really sorry you're having such a hard weekend. I've been there, I think we all have had those endless crying days. Sending you huge hugs.
BFP#1 - 8/27/10 - D&C 10/27/10 @ 13 weeks to Trisomy 18
Missing our Angel Baby Gabriel
BFP#2 - 3/18/11 - CP 3/19/11 BFP#3 - 4/27/11 - Due 1/9/12
(((HUG))) I just wish I could take the sadness out of your post. CD1 really sucks. I'm sorry that people can't understand where you are- but know that you've got friends here, and we'll carry you when you need us. I'm keeping you in my T&P and hoping this is your month! (((HUG)))