Finding a Sperm Donor/Getting Pregnant

cadwinning · January 2011

Hi! I am new to the Bump. I am interested in hearing stories about how any of you chose sperm donors, how expensive it is, etc. My partner and I are hoping to start this process very soon and could use some support! Thanks

2moms2twins · January 2011

We chose a donor based on the Non-bio moms characteristics and ethnicity and such. and Medical history. Things that were important to us were no heart disease or cancer basically a SQUEEKY clean MEDICAL HISTORY. Then once we narrowed it down we sae the baby pictures and we chose the one that looked most like Non-bio mom... and then the WONDERFUL staff at PRS ( that the bank we chose) did a free characteristic screen and actually looked at Adult pic of donor and looked at me and did a side by side comparission and low and behold it was our number 1 any how.

I think one of the first things you need to decide is do you want an anonymous donor or willing to be known donor ? Then everything else that is important to you.

The cost if you pick it up and live locally is much cheaper as shipping is expensive but at PRS its 500$ for a IUI vial .

here are links to their site you can get more info there.

https://www.pacrepro.com/index.php

https://www.pacrepro.com/index.php?main_page=service_and_fee

Our Process when as follows

Decided we WANT a Child

picking a sperm bank ( this was tough- we asked friends looked some up on line and ultimately went with PRS) Searching prolly took us 1 month in deciding what bank to use.

once we decided we then sat down several nights and discussed what we want out of a donor and what we dont want and then we each sat at the computer and looked at and searched their catalog - prolly took us 3 month to get a good number of prospects and then another 3 month to narrow it down. (Jay non pregnant mom has major issues with this process as it made her upset as she felt she was looking for a stand in and also would like a to be connected biologically - she read some books and realized this was our path. *if anyone is interested in that she would love to talk about it *

then we went to prs sat down with our numbers and looked at baby photos and read profiles and donor was selected ? i actually cried when i saw our 1 b4 he was our #1 and i knew ( kinda like picking out a wedding dress when you found the ONE.

-M&J

Mrs._F · January 2011

I highly recommend checking one or both of two books that are on the market about lesbian ttc (trying to conceive). The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians by Rachel Pepper and The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy and Birth by Stephanie Brill. These books cover allll the bases and all the questions that we all have when starting out - known donor vs unknown, info on sperm banks, the nuts and bolts of all the different kinds of procedures, etc, etc, etc.

As for cost, it varies greatly. Sperm can cost anywhere from free (if you use a friend as a known donor) to $300 per vial, to over $500 per vial. Inseminations vary greatly too, based on whether you decide to try at home, with a midwife/OB, or reproductive endrocrinologist. Also, whether you decide to use fertility drugs, and of course what your insurance does or does not cover (which varies).

Welcome and good luck!

InfamousQBert · January 2011

we used the california cryobank www.cryobank.com and chose based on my partner's physical characteristics and interests. they've got a pretty good search function and offer lots of information on the donors. enough to get a good feel without paying anything, and then a lot of more in depth stuff for a small fee.

their prices are between 450 & 650 per vial and there's one "shot" per vial. you get free storage for 30 days with each purchase, so you can purchase at the beginning of the month and they'll keep it for a few weeks until you're ready to ship it and do your procedure.

if you choose to do IUI in your doctor's office (rather than ICI at home, i.e. the turkey baster), there will be an added cost there. it was ~$100 at my doctor, but i'm sure that varies.

do remember that the vial is only good in its shipping container for 7 days. we had a bit of a flub up and had to find a place that could store it for us for a little while because we ordered it too early (instead of purchasing and storing, we had it shipped directly).

i LOVE my doctor, but getting all of this organized with him was not the easiest thing in the world. there's a release form you have to get your doc to sign and fax over, and then you'll need to organize exactly how you're going to do the procedure. once we got everything straightened out, it went pretty smoothly and they were much more flexible with their schedule than they are for routine checkups. but i had to stay on them at first and do a lot of nagging to get the actual doc on the phone. just saying all this to let you know that it's not to early to start talking to them and letting them know what you're planning.

Tanya+Da · January 2011

We went through a few different combinations (as you can see in my sig), but are FAR MORE comfortable with an unknown donor. I personally just cannot trust the legal system with it comes to my child. I am not willing to take that risk. That being said, we did try several times with a known donor.

The protocol that we like the best and finally worked (although ended in mc) was:

Reproductive Endocrinologist + Clomid+ Ovidrel

You are monitored all along the way and they trigger (Ovidrel) your ovulation so they know EXACTLY when to do the insemination.

Total cost for me before insurance is about $1900 per cycle.

Our RE uses California Cryobank as well. For us, confirmed pregnancies was important, being tall (since we are both 5'), artistic, smart, and dark complected. We did not care so much about actual looks, as it is always pot-luck anyway My wife says she wouldn't care if the baby is purple, it's still OUR baby. So the donor part was not as stressful for us.

Hope that helps and welcome!! Ask all the questions you need! I remember how overwhelming it was when we first started.

seahorse mama · January 2011

We used two known donors-first one took 10 tries and ended in miscarriage. we waited 2 months and took only 3 tries with our second guy. we all signed a sperm donor agreement. it wasn't/isn't a legal document but just states pretty clearly that we are all on the same page about everything. we had them both provide documentation of clean bills of health and we are now in the adoption process for my partner to adopt her own child--totally humiliating--and unfortunately necessary...our guy is totally willing to sign away his paternity rights and any other related paperwork. he's totally cool, mature and on the same page with us about us being the parents and not him...we paid him $50/sample (the first guy we paid nothing) A friend placed an add in the university's daily paper requesting a donor and when she found out he was a different ethnicity she passed him on to us-and it turned out we wanted him because of his ethnicity! and he was way younger than our first guy.

If you want to go this route I'd be glad to talk with you more. just look at my profile and email me. Best of luck!! We are happy with our process. We just weren't sperm bank people and didn't have the money for it.

cadwinning · January 2011

Thank you all! It is so so good to hear how you all experienced trying to conceive. So is there a chance that insurance will cover some of the expenses?

Two*True · January 2011

cadwinning:
Thank you all! It is so so good to hear how you all experienced trying to conceive. So is there a chance that insurance will cover some of the expenses?

Yes, there is a chance. It just depends on your insurance. Mine covered 100% of everything except the sperm. Other ladies have had to pay 100% out-of-pocket. The billing specialist at your doctor's office should be able to help you figure things out.

projectkjetil · January 2011

Two*True:

Yes, there is a chance. It just depends on your insurance. Mine covered 100% of everything except the sperm. Other ladies have had to pay 100% out-of-pocket. The billing specialist at your doctor's office should be able to help you figure things out.

My health insurance also covered ovulation meds, trigger shot, monitoring, diagnostic tests (hsg, etc.), and the IUI itself. A rep at the insurance company explained that they would cover my infertility treatment (I have PCOS which pre-qualified me), but that we were responsible for all things related to sperm - purchasing frozen sperm, having it shipped, and having it washed/spun before the IUI procedure. She explained that in cases where there is a sperm-producing male partner, his insurance covers the costs of his fertility treatments (like sperm analysis, hormone testing, IUI prep).

As awesome as my insurance company was, their coverage only extended as far as IUI with injectables. Anything connected to IVF -- even the same drugs and monitoring that I would have had during an IUI with injectables cycle -- would not have been covered. That's why I stuck with IUIs even though it took 10 cycles in total.

Every insurance company is different, so work with the billing specialists at your RE's office and consider calling your insurance company directly too.

Good luck, and I hope you have great coverage and an easy journey.

CourtneyNThomas · February 2011

Cadwinning, we are new to the Bump too and have just started trying for a baby as well! We went thru a private donor clinic and found a great guy. He's been extremely helpful with all our questions. We picked a donor that did have traits of the non-carrying partner, but we also have another son from a different donor and we picked a few traits that matched him as well (height was a factor for us). We had a huge contract that convered ever little inch so we felt completley satisfied. My wife and I are actually trying for the first time this coming Thurs/Fri! I know its not always a 'first try' deal, but we are over the moon at at least beginning the process! I'd love to have someone to talk to whos at about the same stage as we are, feel free to keep in touch

cadwinning · February 2011

CourtneyNThomas - I'd love to talk!! We are scrambling to make our decisions and get paperwork done so that we can try this month (around the 14th--:), and if not this month then definitely next.

CourtneyNThomas · February 2011

Cadwinning, I'm still trying to get used to everything on this site so I'm a little slow on reply haha We just 'tried' for the first time this week...we get to test on Feb. 18th ish ...its gonna be the longest wait ever! Have you guys found a donor yet? Your cycle is really close to mine...it would be really fun to have someone to talk to who was close in date! My email is homegrowndanes at yahoo com if you ever wanna email..I cant figure out how to use this email on here lol I can tell you more about our cost and such if you had questions since you had asked that in your original post. We also have a great contract if you dont have one yet...We had to figure out so much and didnt have anyone to ask so now that I know a few things I feel like I should share our knowledge with others Good luck with your ovulation this month!

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