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Confession (kind of long)

Naz91804Naz91804
in Northern California Babies

I was hoping to have good news to share today but just talked to my OB and looks like I have to share bad news instead.

I found out on Saturday that I was pregnant.  It was not planned since DH and I have been going through so many ups and downs lately that the thought of having another baby right now hadn't even crossed our mind but nevertheless we were both very excited.  A child is always a blessing and being that DD is almost 2 the timing seemed right in that sense.

I had a blood test on Monday but my prgesterone levels were too low, 8.1 instead of 20.  My OB put me on progesterone pills and had me take another blood test on Wednesday.  He called this morning to tell me the hCG levels had not doubled as they should (only went from 200 to 260) and the progesterone levels are too low.  He said this does not seem like a viable pregnancy and my body will probably reject it pretty soon and will get rid of it on its own since I'm only about 6 weeks along.

So now I'm sitting here, just waiting to stop being pregnant and have all sort of mixed feelings about this.  I'm obviously sad to be losing this pregnancy but I'm also a little bit relieved cause I think maybe the timing wasn't right.  And now DH and I will have to actually sit and talk about if we want to officially start trying and come up with a long laundry list of all the reasons we shouldn't and why we really want to.  I haven't quite processed things.  I just want to go home but have to sit here at work and pretend nothing has happened and get through the rest of this day.

Thank you all for listening and letting me vent, it helps to get it out there.

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