If you have a child in Kindergarten and a baby in daycare...

xbrooklyngrl · February 2011

How do you handle drop off in the morning if you have to work?

DH has come up with reason #5,857 why we shouldn't have a #2. I feel like things are finally turning around for us and we should think about having another by next year because frankly, I'm not going past that.After that point, B and #2 would be farther apart in age then I want and a million other reasons.

So, his new thing is how hard drop off would be because he does all the morning stuff, I leave at 7am and he gets DD dressed and fed and to school by 9am. He's expressing concern on how he'd do that with two and then have to rush off to work, and what if #2 has reflux like B did, and how will he feed the baby and Brooke and on and on...

So, what's your morning routine like?

joseysbride · February 2011

I'm not going to write out my morning routine because, well, a lot of days by the time I get to work I feel like the day should be over. It is a lot of work getting both of them ready on my own, but let's face it, having kids period can be a lot of work at times. I know this isn't going to last forever, and I just do it. Once we had Cohen, we did have to change things, my schedule being one of them. My husband works 50 miles away from town, so I am on my own in the morning. Getting Rory to school meant that I now have to work from 8:30 to 5:00. I used to work 8:00-4:30. Before Rory, I worked 7:00-3:30. I won't lie...I wish I still had a 7:00-3:30 schedule, but I don't. Oh well.

I personally don't think logistics like this should be a make or break thing on a decision for having more children. Because things like this, you will make it work if you have to.

shouldbworkin · February 2011

I get both kids up at 7:30. they get dressed, brush teeth, etc. and are at the kitchen table eating breakfast by 8 am. By 8:15 we're getting dressed to walk out the door. Bus comes at 8:33, so FIL waits for it with DS, but I could easily do it too and have DD in the car and ready to get dropped off at school right afterward. As it is, I drop her off at 8:30 on the dot and am at work by 9, if not earlier. It's really not too bad and is probably easier with a baby that you can just feed before you leave, put back to sleep and drop off to daycare in PJs with a change of clothes. And, the next year when the baby is bigger, your DD will be too. She'll be much more independent and it will be pretty easy in the AMs. It didn't get harder for me until I had a 2 and 4 y/o that had opinions about things. Now that DS is 5, it's not so bad anymore. We have a good system down too. Do as much as you can for DH before you leave (make lunches, get bags, ready, set out clothes, make breakfast) so that all he has to do is change them, feed them and leave. I don't think that's too hard. Like everything else, you get used to it.

hikerbeth · February 2011

Next year DS will go to a daycare a few mornings a week that is right next to the school where DD will go to Kindergarten.

DandelionMom · February 2011

You know my kids are older than that but I have the issue of getting 3 kids ready for 3 different drop off times by myself (since DH leaves so early for work). I prep a lot the night before (make lunches, pack backpacks, choose outfits, etc). I buy easy to make breakfast foods. Older DDs have been taught to handle most of the getting ready stuff by themselves. And then one kid is picked up by a carpool and I drive the other two to one drop off then the 3rd's drop off. I think it is one of those things that seems harder than it is. It works out.

*Amy* · February 2011

With 3 it takes a lot of focus in the morning to get out the door. From the second my feet hit the floor I have to be doing something, feeding the baby, getting the kids dressed, packing snacks, making breakfast,etc. It is doable as long as you keep moving! We are usually up at 6:00 at out the door by 8:15 to bring Anthony to school. (note: I shower at night and don't have to go to work myself so my clothing is casual and I pull my hair back and put on powder, masera and blush. If I had to get ready for work I would probably start earlier).

grja · February 2011

My neighbor ended up hiring a nanny instead of continuing daycare with her youngest only. The nanny comes over in the morning to help out. Both parents leave for work and she puts the older DS on the bus and then stays home with the younger DS. She gets the older ds off the bus in the afternoon and stays until one of the parents comes home.

They love it and its something I'm going to look into. She's there in case of snow days, early dismissals, school vacations, etc. And the nanny will also have play dates a few times during the week so the younger ds can get some playtime with other kids.

xbrooklyngrl · February 2011

B would have to be in school by 8am and #2 would go to the daycare where Brooke goes now. DH starts at 11am now so he drops her off by 9am and drives to the train, takes the train, ferry and another train. it's a lot of leg work.

I think if he had #2 he can either wait with B and #2 at our corner for the bus and then drop #2 at the daycare.

OR, drop B at school, drop #2 at daycare (they have a circular driveway where they will take the child in if you want) and be on his way.

I know its hard but obviously, like you guys said its not a reason to not have a second.

ridesbuttons · February 2011

Not quite there yet but this is how it *should* work in Septemeber.

Bus will pick up school-aged child at approx 7:50am. Yes, I will be at the busstop with him and my preschooler in the car. Once bus pulls away, I will drive the preschooler to his preschool/daycare, drop hime off at approx 8:05am and then drive to work arriving around 8:20am.

My two are 18 months apart and have attended daycare since the age of 4-6 months or so, at times different daycares. Just like everything else in parenthood, you just make it work. It works out because it must.

For me it will be more or less seamless.

Andrewsgal · February 2011

xbrooklyngrl:
B would have to be in school by 8am and #2 would go to the daycare where Brooke goes now. DH starts at 11am now so he drops her off by 9am and drives to the train, takes the train, ferry and another train. it's a lot of leg work.
I think if he had #2 he can either wait with B and #2 at our corner for the bus and then drop #2 at the daycare.
OR, drop B at school, drop #2 at daycare (they have a circular driveway where they will take the child in if you want) and be on his way.
I know its hard but obviously, like you guys said its not a reason to not have a second.

B sounds like it would work with plenty of time to spare.

i have my kids in two different preschools. I drop DD off then DS off. When she is in Kinder we will drop her off, then take DS.

Is there a real reason he is so set against #2?

buffalo_buckeye · February 2011

I know a lot of daycares have a bus that picks up the school kids. Next year I will have Ds in preschool 5 days a week and dd in daycare but I'm not sure how it will go yet.

xbrooklyngrl · February 2011

Andrews - he has lots of reasons.

1. We have no help and it was and still is very hard on us when Brooke is sick or now with all the time off we'll need to take for school breaks.

2. He just doesn't want anymore. He feels we got a healthy child and why tempt fate?

3. He says I'm always crazy at night and imagine how much crazier I'd be with another and same goes for him in the mornings.

4. We've just gone through a financial disaster and are starting to finally be able to breath and not having the expense of daycare is something that he's really looking forward to.

5. He says he's Happy with his Brooke

Andrewsgal · February 2011

Oh X (HUGS) I really hope you guys can find common ground on this. I hope my question was not snarky, but DH always has some lame reason for no #3 and when I get to the bottom of it there are valid reasons there, but the whole daycare kinder thing sounded like something DH would come up with.

Dcubed · February 2011

They aren't at school yet but when DS starts school we will do the same morning as we do now - DH helps gets kids dressed while I get dressed. We are out the door for 6:30 (if I am on time), I drop them off at 6:45 so I can be to work for 7. The only difference is the older ones in school won't have to rush so much in the morning, I still leave with the younger kid(s) and DH takes the older ones to school (or wait for the bus if we decide to let the kids ride the bus). Everything is doable and you can work out a plan for whatever it just sounds like maybe he is done like you said.

xbrooklyngrl · February 2011

thanks Andrews! I didn't think it was snarky at all, totally valid question.

I'm not as upset over this as I was when B was younger but I know in my heart its something I'd always regret and he knows I feel like that.

Oh well, we'll see what happens.

lildevil968 · February 2011

My DD is in 1st grade this year, but we have her in before and after school care. Since I work from 0730-1630 everyday, this makes it work for us. She rides the bus to and from the before and after school care to school, and back. It is a time crunch in the morning though because we live a half a mile away from her center, and I work 32 miles from there, but we make it work.

veloelle · February 2011

In the fall, I will dropoff DS at DC around 8:30, then take DD to school for the 8:50 start. They are about a mile apart. I work at 10 am w/ a commute. Yes, it was a lot of work in the beginning to get out of the house w/ 2, but you deal and it's just your new reality.

katie277s · February 2011

Well, our apartment offers free morning care and a supervised walk to the bus stop, so that helps a bunch. But...

I take care of getting Miles ready, while DH gets Logan ready. He showers, and when he's out he gets Logan up and started on breakfast while I get bottles ready and get Miles dressed. He drops Logan off at Monster Club (the morning care) and heads to school, and I leave about 15 minutes later and take Miles to daycare. Logan rides the bus to school, so that also helps with drop offs.

After school, Logan goes back to Monster Club and DH picks him up on his way home, and I pick Miles up on my way home from work.

ccm1203 · February 2011

I have handle mornings with 2 by myself for the last 3.5 yrs, it is always a mad rush, always has been. We get out the door, wait for the school bus in the car, after the bus comes I take DD to "daycare" (parents & inlaws) or preschool and then go to work. It is a way of life, however I didn't have a long period of time between kids. I can see where your DH is coming from but in your case I think a baby trumps that!

jlw2505 · February 2011

DH and I take turns with who gets the kids ready. Whoever is on kid duty gets up and showered and totally ready first. That person gets the kids up at 6:15 - starting with my older DD who can do a lot herself so once she is moving, you move onto the little one who needs more help. The person who was not on kid duty, comes and helps as soon as they are ready. We all aim to be getting in the car by 6:45. We each take a child to their school. On my 3 work from home days, I take my older DD since the drop off process takes younger and on the 2 days I go into the office, I take my little one. It works out great for us and we are flexible in the schedule if one of us has a morning meeting or something. DH carpools so we have to leave on time and all of that stuff. I do pick-up of both girls and DH gets home and starts dinner a few mins before we get home. It works out really well for us.,

Jodi&Joe · February 2011

Unfortunately chica, #2 is all the reason you need. If he doesn't want another, he doesn't want another. His concerns are valid (WAY valid) and if you push him on this, and do get him to concede, he will likely resent you for it.

Having two kids, while a blessing in so many ways, is 10X the work of one. And I can say this, easily I know, since I do have two. I'm not in your situation and it's one I would never want to be in. But you got to look at the big picture here. Your husband doesn't want any more kids.

(((HUGS)))

Andrewsgal · February 2011

I think the big issue is, well at least for us. If we don't have another i feel like I will regret it and will I end up resenting him? If we do and it totally throws us off which it will for a while will he end up resenting me?

kittycarr · February 2011

Our routine is plain and simple. I get up and get ready for work before I wake them. I wake them, I dress them, I feed them, I make coffee, start the car, brush their teeth, we get shoes and coats on and I take them up the road to daycare. Daycare gets E on the bus and keeps B all day. Daycare gets E off the bus. When there is no school, she keeps them both.

If I drove E to school, I'd throw B in the door and then go to school and throw E in that door and then head to work.

stacynikki · February 2011

DH had a lot of the same reasons for not wanting #2 but here we are and I can't imagine him ever resenting having Owen here! I really don't think it's a crazy amount of extra work. The boys are great at playing together and it's just kind of awesome seeing them together. I think that he would have plenty of time to get the kids out the door and to their perspective places. I hope he comes around soon!

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