mulitple showers?

AKH307 · February 2011

I was on the baby showers board looking for Dr Seuss ideas when I came a cross a couple of threads talking about how it's "tacky" to have a shower if its not your first child. I have NEVER heard of this. Am I just in a little hole and not paying attention? I have always just assumed that people have a baby shower for each child...maybe not as big as the first, but still a shower!

mrsmikey · February 2011

I think it must be a regional thing, because everyone I know has had some sort of shower for every child. But apparently it's a big no-no in other areas.

raceyrae · February 2011

I've come from an area were you don't do showers for 2nd babies or subsequent. However, it really depends if friends/family decide to throw one for you. My bookclub friends graciously threw me a small board book shower when I was due with DD#2. And the MNI ladies surprised me with a cake and gifts one night.

I think the thought is you have most things that are needed for a baby from DC#1 so other than clothes if they're different gender or season, there really isn't much more you should need that you'd need support from friends/family for.

SalisburyBride · February 2011

I have heard that it is sort of taboo, especially if the children are close in age and will be the same gender. The idea being that you shouldn't need to much stuff especially big ticket items since you just had a baby recently. I have heard the rule of thumb is that showers are ok if it's been 3 or more years since the last child OR if the child is the opposite gender but less than 3 years apart. Crazy, but that is actually what I have heard in some social circles. I am cohosting a shower for a good friend who is finally pregnant with her second child, a girl, six years after having her first, also a girl. In this case, according to the crazy rule, it's acceptable!

I, personally, would have loved a shower for my second! I gave almost all of my stuff to my single mom cousin who didn't have much nor did she get much from her teenage friends at her shower. I could have asked for it back, but YUCK! No way I wanted it back after she used it!

I think every new baby deserves a special day! Now, I certainly won't start popping kids out just to have a party!

srhartline · February 2011

I always thought you would have a big shower with your first. With any child after that maybe a small card or gift but hardly any party. The only time you would get a second shower would be if it was a suprise baby - like 14 years later.

In which case I hope my family is reading this because I have nothing left from my other kids, I thought I was done! Suprise~! Lol.

lalabee0425 · February 2011

I just threw a "sprinkle" for a good friend of mine who is having her 2nd girl. They will be 3 years apart and she didn't need hardly anything since they will be born around the same season. I wanted her to feel special though and we had a very nice mini shower. People bought her diapers, bibs, bottles, and small things she needed like that. It was nice to celebrate her new baby. I have been to full blown showers for 2nd, 3rd, kids that were close in age and the same gender though. I don't think it's unacceptable of someone offers to give you a special day. Now, if you ASKED for a shower or hinted to have one that would be SUPER tacky!

erin_aaronsbaby · February 2011

I'd say asking or hinting for a shower would be tacky, but I don't see anything wrong with a shower for a 2nd+ child, especially if there are more than 2 years between them. Now, if they're closer together, I'd say a "sprinkle" is perfectly okay - gifting diapers, etc, since big ticket items are already owned.

JuberP · February 2011

I've always thought that there is only a shower for the first child. If there are outstanding circumstances (like a LONG time between children where the mother got rid of all of her baby things, in the case of multiples, or a family hardship of some type), then maybe another shower, but certainly not one for each child.

I think it is great to recognize the new (2+) baby with a gift, but not shower the mother since she should have most things she needs.

That being said, I like parties, so I'd go to a second shower (and I really liked the Tea Party theme for a shower with big sis in a earlier thread. Wink ), but I would not feel right letting my friends/family throw a shower for my second baby.

starz080 · February 2011

I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all. But I'm pregnant with #2 (26 months apart and same gender) and I don't expect a shower at all. I wouldn't be upset if someone offered, but it just feels weird since I feel like I just had a baby. Granted, there are things that I would like to get DD#2 and need. But we can get those things. That's what the spring consignment sales are for. : )

MrsHughesNC · February 2011

I'm not a huge fan of second showers, honestly. Big, traditional showers, anyway. Unless, like others have said, it's for a baby born several years after the first, and/or is a different gender, etc. My thoughts are that showers are for getting the necessities for a baby. If I were to have another baby in the next few years, I already have all the basics. I would most certainly not expect another big shower, and I wouldn't register again.

It's not like I'd be so outraged that I wouldn't go to a second shower for someone. Although I'd bring something practical like diapers, or an outift if the baby was the opposite gender. But I just personally wouldn't let anyone throw me a big to-do. :-) However, "sprinkles," diaper showers, small showers at work (AKA: an excuse to eat cake while on the clock. LOL) are a different ball game, IMO. I think those are completely appropriate.

dbertagni · February 2011

starz080:
I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all. But I'm pregnant with #2 (26 months apart and same gender) and I don't expect a shower at all. I wouldn't be upset if someone offered, but it just feels weird since I feel like I just had a baby. Granted, there are things that I would like to get DD#2 and need. But we can get those things. That's what the spring consignment sales are for. : )

This is me, but I am having a boy so I need a bunch of clothes, but basically that is it. I have been to showers for people on their 3rd baby. I don't have an issue celebrating the birth of another child, but maybe going over the top with full blown decor, cake, huge gifts is a little much. I have been to a sprinkle before and it was for someone's 3rd and it was very small.

BackthePack · February 2011

I think it's tacky to have a big shower for a 2nd, etc unless it's an extreme circumstance (ex: vast difference in age).

However, I am a big fan of a small celebration for the 2nd, 3rd, etc. I've thrown both a "Sprinkle" and a "Sip-n-See" in the past 6 months for a 3rd & 2nd baby. They were both simple affairs and practical gifts were given, but still a fun way to remember & celebrate the new baby.

smittie417 · February 2011

I do think it's tacky. My best friend had one last year...same sex, just 2 years apart. She said she had all of the stuff for the newborn, so she decided to register for stuff for the older one to have a newly decorated room. Can you say tacky!!

Now, if you don't do that...I see nothing wrong with a diapers only, or a clothing shower. Everyone likes a party, but please don't register for things!

Happy pushing

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