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Attachment Parenting
ayram
member
Zombie Mama Check-in! (aka sleep issues)
ayram
member
Okay, so it's been a week since we started this little group as a bit of support to those of us who are dealing with sleep issues. Feel free to join in the discussion.
Give us a quick reminder about your situation. How has your week been? Any improvements? Setbacks? Have you tried anything new this week? Any tips to share?
Mom to 4 boys under age 6
Evan, Darren, Liam & Isaac
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Zombie Mama Check-in! (aka sleep issues)
Isaac (9 months/6 corrected) is generally fussy, has never slept well, and has been getting worse - waking 1-2 hrs, being nursed back to sleep.
This week has been tough, because I NEED improvements, and it's not happening. I read half of NCSS and haven't finished. I don't know why - maybe I'm afraid to try it in case it won't work. Or maybe I'm just too tired.
I got the Fisher Price Ocean Wonders aquarium and that has given me my one small victory this week - last night around 1, I turned it on and he went back to sleep without being nursed!! Maybe this will help in the long run?
I have been working harder to get him to nap, because I know that he is sleep deprived. I remember in the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" he says Sleep begets sleep. The more well-rested they are, the better they sleep.
Other than that, we just need to stay healthy - every time he gets sick we take a few steps back! Last night I think it was croup, poor kid!
My LO has had an up and down week.
She started out the week as a maniac. She would not go to sleep - she would get just to the brink and then roll over and start crawling all over the place and be wide awake. DH had the brilliant idea of swaddling her because it seemed like she was kicking herself awake. So we did it one night and she slept as well as she ever has - 4 hours at first, then another 3 and then 2 hour blocks until morning.
She has since seemed to catch on to the swaddle and does not like it. She thrashed around last night and woke up every hour. But, she was also eating a ton (solids) all day for DH (he stays at home with her on Tuesdays while I work) and then wanted to nurse all night long. Maybe a growth spurt?
I'd like to try a woombie - anyone ever try one? It's kind of like a tight sleepsack so the LO doesn't startle themselves awake but can still move around a bit. I don't know.
I think the sleep issues also have something to do with me working one day a week outside the house. She generally doesn't drink much pumped milk while I am gone, then wants to eat all night. So she is reverse cycling for the day, and then the next day she isn't hungry, so it becomes a cycle. I'm switching my work schedule to two half days in the hope of helping.
I think the whole kicking herself awake thing started when she started crawling. anyone else have this experience? she is trying to "walk" now and climb stairs. I think it's a milestone thing - she was an awful sleeper when she was learning to roll over and crawl. does it ever end?!
I really think the swaddling helped and hope that it continues to work despite last night's frequent wakings.
Oh - does anyone else's LO wake up every time they wet their diaper? she hates a wet diaper, and we are ECing, so she tends to wake when she has to potty.
LOVE the name
Ryan (8mo) slept wonderfully right home from the hospital. Around Nov, he started frequent night wakings (presumably due to his two bottom teeth coming in). Then he started boycotting naps. It has gotten worse and worse and for the past few weeks to a month he is up constantly at night and not napping at all. I am in the same boat as you.
Totally thinking this^^^ I started my method of sleep training by watching carefully for sleep signs. If it is time to nurse, I do that. Then I put him down and try not to pick him up again. I pat his back and shhhh or sing to him. For awhile he was pretty furious about it. Now he is sometimes accepting, laying his head right down, relaxing and falling asleep, and sometimes cries for what feels like forever, trying to get me to pick him up. I really wish I did this sooner. For DS1, I did it around 6mo. But DS2 was having a lot of teething issues, then got sick, and one thing after another till here we are. So we are really being firm with sleep now. It has paid off overall, because he is typically taking 2 naps a day now, which I know he needs. It is still tough getting him down sometimes and nighttime is hit or miss. =/
I love to sleep so much, why don't my children? hahaha
J. is just shy of 6 months. He wake 6+ times at night. He generally goes to sleep between 7 and 7:30. I can usually count on 1 or 2 periods of 2 hours of sleep. The rest of the night is him waking over and over. He always needs to nurse to sleep. I know that bedsharing (we bedshare 100% of the time) makes kids more prone to waking up, but this seems ridiculous.
I am attempting to stop the constant night wakings by shushing and patting at every other night waking rather than immediately nursing. This has been worked sometimes and not others. I am also trying the Pantley pull-off to break the nursing to sleep association. I like nursing to sleep before bed and naps, but I think he then expects it when he night wakes. And I think it may even encourage night wakings.
Plus, it takes forever for DH to get him to sleep the night I am not at home.
I wish I had tips to share...maybe in a few years!
I feel like the old veteran here and can't believe at 17 months we're still in the zombie boat. Blah!
DD *finally* cut one of her 1-year molars over the weekend. She has been working on those things for months, quite literally. One down, 7 to go...unfortunately, no improvement in sleep. In fact, it has been a very rough week with her waking hourly almost every night. Last night she only woke 4 times, and when she was up for the day at 5am I was able to get her to lie down with me and nurse/snooze until 5:30 when I had to get up to get ready for work. This passes for a luxurious night at our house these days, so I feel a lot better today. Still, 17 months of sleep issues is just too much and I get incredibly frustrated after a string of bad nights. Surely this has to end at some point, but when? Age 2? 3? I have a coworker who tells me his 4-year-old still wakes multiple times a night, and that makes me want to cry. I feel like we've literally tried everything, including some crying, and nothing has any impact (except that too much crying just makes it even worse). I guess I'm in the ride it out camp at this point.
Solido: Yes, we definitely had more struggles when DD started crawling. She would crawl around the bed in her sleep all the time (we were still bedsharing at that point). She did eventually stop the sleepcrawling, but it took several weeks.
Bride2b: I love sleep, too, and wonder where the heck DD got all this wakefulness. I think my mom's "mother's curse" went awry because my brother, who was a terrible sleeper, has a daughter who sleeps like a champ; and I was a good sleeper and ended up in this boat. Totally unfair.
Oh, I missed this last week, but what a great check-in. Gwen is 11.5 months (exactly 2 weeks until my baby turns 1!!) and was a good sleeper to begin with, but not so much now. We bedshared in the beginning, which we loved and was so great for those newborn wakeful nights. Around 2 months we were waking each other too much so we started putting her down in her crib, then bringing her to bed for the rest of the night after her first waking. It went great and after a month I started putting her back down in her crib. There were a blissful few months in there that she STTN or woke once, ate, and went right back to bed. Then, around 4.5 - 5 months, she started waking more, but there always seemed to be a reason... vaccinations, sickness, teething, growth spurt. However, before I knew it, it was December, she was 10 months old, and she still wasn't sleeping great. A night with 2 wakings only was a GREAT night. Plus she never really let me comfort her without picking her up... if I try just patting her back, 90% of the time she escalates.
Through all of this we've been nursing/rocking to sleep, and nursing at night wakings. In the past few months, I've been working on comforting her back to sleep without nursing, with pretty good success. There are times when nothing will do but nursing, but I figure she just really needs it then, and I'm okay with that. Plus, its not all the time.
Our latest trials, and where we are right now, is that she's teething (four teeth just below the surface!) and just got over being sick. Her nights recently have been horrid... multiple wakings, unable to be comforted except by nursing, getting her back to sleep only to have her wake screaming as soon as I set her down in the crib... its been really rough. We had one good stretch last night (9 to 12:30), but then it took me until 2 before I was able to put her back down (was able to get her to sleep, but not to stay asleep), then she woke again at 3:30 when I just brought her into bed with us. Mama's tired!
I'm hoping that now that she's getting over being sick, we'll start moving back towards those 2 wakings per night and being easier to put down, but I just don't know. My plan is nightweaning at 14 months unless something big improves before then. I'm hoping that will help with the night wakings. In the meantime, I'm not sure what my game plan is. But I need one and would love some suggestions!!
Maybe I don't have a heightened sense of smell, but I've never smelled any vagina on my pants. -- TSD
Bloggity Blog - You know you want to...
LOL.
This was a big week for us! We decided to start the Gordon method. AND IT WORKED! We're a month ahead of his recommendations, but DS is a talking toddler in 18 month clothes, so we felt comfortable trying it, but didn't want to push too much. This is long, but I figure you might care.
https://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
HOLY CRAAAAAP it is helping! A week ago, we were at 10+ nightwakings, and he needed the bottle to go to sleep pretty much every time, even if it was only for a minute. We bedshare and generally love doing it - but it was killing us to go without sleep for so long. The last 2 nights, he woke up ONCE, and only for cuddles! I have no idea if it will last.
The first two nights sucked. He got the bottle until he was calm, then we took it away... and man, was he pissed! It wasn't a scared/hysterical cry though, it was "give me my bottle, woman!", confused, upset and angry. He cried (off and on) for an hour in arms (mine and DH, we swapped) the first time and I was ready to give up. We tried everything, bouncing rocking, you name it. Then, at exactly the hour mark, he fell asleep. He woke up several more times (I lost count) and was very upset when we took the bottle away, but he did fall asleep eventually every time.
Night #3, we took the bottle away and he squacked once or twice then went to sleep. He only woke up 3x that night. Improvement, for sure.
Night #4, no bottle for nightwakings. This was NOT a hit; when the bottle did not appear after 11pm, he was GROUCHY! It took an hour, just like the first night, to get him to sleep without it. Lots and lots of "MAMA, BABA! MAMA, BABA!!" Again though, he wasn't crying hysterically. He was, however, really really mad. 3 more wakings, all of them unpleasant, but decreasing in length.
Night #5, no bottle, 15 minutes each time of grumbling/fussing, 3 wakings.
Night #6, one waking. Cuddles back to sleep. Time awake past 11pm - 5 minutes.
Night #7 was a repeat!
I am praying this continues. I love still being able to bedshare, I love my cuddles, I just want to get some sleep....
Lurker here, hoping to join in the discussion...Kate is 4 1/2 months old and hasn't slept a night without being in my arms. She enjoys playing in her crib, but refuses to sleep in it. She's done a couple of naps in there, but nothing more than 30 minutes. I feel like we've tried it all--swaddling, white noise, putting her down drowsy but awake, putting her down asleep...
I honestly don't mind--I've gotten used to sleeping sitting up (with a boppy, no big blankets, etc.) but she's growing like a weed, so I know I've got to make the transition to crib soon. And not to mention, she goes to sleep around 6ish, so I'm out of commission from about 6pm-6am.
I would appreciate any advice/tips. Thanks ladies!
DS turned 2 last week and has been up and down. He STTN a few times when he was in his crib in the first 5 months. We moved at 5 months and put his crib in his room. He has been in our bed since! He sleeps quite well but he wakes up a few times a night to comfort suck/nurse. He will normally eat between 4am and 5am which is fine but I really need to wean him from comfort sucking himself back to sleep.
We would totally wean him from overnight but we are so worried about his calorie intake (see my bio if you don't know) that of want him eating. 2 years of no long stretches of sleep are starting to wear on me.
Our sleep still stinks! Everytime he starts sleeping again, he gets sick. He has been sick 5 out of the past 6 weeks. Last night was GREAT, he went down at 6 and woke up at 4:30...but he only was up twice in between. Although 4:30 is a touch early for me, only 2 wakings in 10.5 hours is bliss. This was all in his crib too!
Tonight is already is awful. He went down at 6:30, and I think we are on waking #10 or so already (it's only 8). He is on antibiotics from an ear infection this past Saturday, but is acting like he has another one. Just can't get comfortable, OK if upright, wanting to suck but then spitting out paci or boob and screaming. On top of that he has some nasty cough that has reved up like crazy tonight. Everytime I've put him down he's had trouble settling down, then he'll fall asleep and wake up coughing/choking his head off. He had RSV 2-3 weeks ago and we ended up in the ER from him choking, turning blue, and throwing up several times in a row...I'm now super paranoid about coughs. I'm currently bouncing on ball, with him in a wrap. If I could just find a way to sleep like this myself, we'd be in business!
I swear if we could just get him well he would sleep great!
*We are also our on a reverse nursing schedule, I have several full day trainings this month and he won't take a bottle. So I have someone bring him to me at lunch, but he is getting most of his calories at night. I don't mind nursing several times a night...as long as he goes back to sleep afterwards.
We had a breakthrough this week!
Background on our situation: DS has been teething non-stop for the past 3 months and it has wreaked havoc with his sleep. Multiple night wakings, nursing all night, refusing to sleep in the crib.
I realized that he hates the crib because he likes to wiggle around and get comfortable and he ends up bumping into the wooden rails. We tried a floor bed and that worked okay for a few nights, but I was too nervous to leave him alone there at night, so I gave up on it.
This week, I tried the play pen (converted ARCS). That seems to have done the trick for now at least. The first night, DS woke up when I put him down in it, and fussed around (without crying) for 15 minutes and then laid down and put himself to sleep for the first time ever. He's been taking longer naps in there as well and last night he slept straight through from 9:30 until 4:00! That hasn't happened in months!
The only catch is that I have it set up in our bedroom, so my next step is to move it to his room, but I'm not in any rush since it's working for us right now.
BFP #2 12/26/11 ~ EDD 9/6/12 ~ MMC discovered on 1/27/12 @ 8w1d (measured 6w2d)
BFP #3 8/10/12 ~ EDD 4/23/13 ~ MMC discovered on 9/13/12 @ 8w2d (measured 6w6d)
I had a Woombie when DS was 2 months old. I loved it! It was tight enough to keep his Moro reflex from waking him up, but loose enough that he could still move his arms around. I only used it for a month or so though. He started stretching his arms over his head and would get annoyed when he couldn't.
BFP #2 12/26/11 ~ EDD 9/6/12 ~ MMC discovered on 1/27/12 @ 8w1d (measured 6w2d)
BFP #3 8/10/12 ~ EDD 4/23/13 ~ MMC discovered on 9/13/12 @ 8w2d (measured 6w6d)
my week has been up and down. It started out pretty well with some nights of 3 soild hours of sleep but now DD is teething again. I think she has 4 more teeth coming in so it's been tough. Some nights she has been up every hour to nurse but last night was a little better. I'm not getting my hopes up yet cause none of the teeth broke through.
how long can teeth take to come in? She has 8 already but they seem to take a while. love what a pp said I also LOVE to sleep I don't know why DD doesnt'. She gets it from her daddy...he doesn't sleep much either.
We are sick all the time too!! Puffers, coughs, ER visits - as soon as he is well, he gets sick again! He was well for 3 weeks or so, then last night croup, leading to wheezing/coughing tonight. And MISERABLE! I type this with one hand as I hold him - finally sleeping...I need more patience. He always has some reason to be unhappy... sigh.
I just bought a "convertable" woombie - you can unsnap the arm area and let LO's arms out. I am hoping that it will help with her kicking. Last night she kicked out of the swaddle and kept waking up pretty much from 4am on. I think i was too tired to reswaddle her, which probably would have solved the problem.
We are right there with you! I'm seriously at my breaking point, it is one thing to not have sleep...but to be sleep deprived with a sick unhappy baby is double hard. I always thought of myself as extremely patient, I just don't know how much more I can take...somethings gotta give (and i'm think that something is about to be the financial security we get from me working). I can't imagine going through this with 3 other children who need me. It is hard enough with one and working.
Hopefully both our babies will get well and sleep again!
Update...as I was typing on Wed night he was UNBEARABLY fussy...had a horrible night, then ended up coughing, wheezing. Around 6am I took him to the ER, they admitted him and we just got home tonight. Broncheolitis, possible pneumonia...AGAIN!! It was a long 36 hours of holding a fussy sick baby...glad to be at home with DH to hold him for a while!
I can't wait till cold and fllu season is OVER!!!!!