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May 2011 Moms
Pythia1022
member
Boycotting my own shower.
Pythia1022
member
This is a VENT post, bear with me...
DH's aunt has offered to throw a shower. From the beginning, the shower has been a source of rocky issues, although I was appreciative of her offering to host it. For example, she wanted it to be a "surprise" shower, wouldn't tell us the date, was planning on 'calling me and picking me up that day'...I told her this made me uncomfortable, I'd rather not be caught off guard, I'd at least like to know the date so that I can make sure I'm not busy/have no clean clothes/have washed my hair, etc. After a lot of talk, she decided to include me in the planning, and we had everything decided for the end of February. Location, date, guest list, etc. We all agreed that a co-ed shower would be more appropriate in our situation, as I rarely get along with the women in his family. We had a pavilion at the beach reserved, and invitations were sent out. Everything seemed to be falling into place.
Apparently, my MIL (the aunt's SIL) somehow got a hold of all these details, threw a stink about it, and has commandeered the entire thing. She convinced DH's aunt to once again make it a "surprise" shower (which just means everyone but me is allowed to know anything), to only invite the women in his family, and told my guests (parents, sister, best friends, and aunt) that "The date has changed, I'll let you know when we reset it." DH stopped by his aunt & uncle's house last night, where she informed him of the change in plans, and that they had no intention of following up with those guests, that they were basically un-inviting them!! I guess no one was planning to tell me about any of this.
Words cannot express the frustration. I am going to boycott my own shower. There is no way in hell that I am spending 3-4 hours alone with only the crazy, drunk women in his family, and I am not going to support the appalling, petty, white-trash rudeness they are displaying towards me, my family and friends. DH is behind me 100%, thank god. My best friend has offered to host a proper, stress-free shower at the end of March, and I love her for it, and will be taking her up on that offer immediately.
I've decided that I may have married my guy, but I am not married to his family. I want my child to grow up with some manners and tact. This fiasco has "sealed the deal" so to speak, as far as shaping my decision to limit the baby's exposure to his family to the absolute bare minimum, despite the fact that they live locally. Once I calm down, I'm going to call the aunt and my MIL, tell them that I will personally send letters of apology cancelling the shower (and do so), and then I will not be speaking to anyone in that family until at least 2 weeks after the baby is born.
Good riddance.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Boycotting my own shower.
Sing it sister!
I would be livid!!!! who invites people then uninvites them! seriously your dh Aunt should have just stood up to her sister and said no and this is how it is, come if you want, don't if you don't... I hate people that pull this BS esp to a pregnant woman!!!
I am glad that your dh is on your side but he should also address this with his mother and SET HER STRAIGHT!!!!
WOW! So sorry you're having to deal with this. That's just craziness. Seriously. I know every family is dysfunctional to some extent, but Dang!
I think your plan of action sounds like the way to go. {And kudos to your BF so you and your family don't miss out on celebrating}
The Baby Blog.
Wow!! Sorry you have to deal with this! I can't believe people could be so rude!
I don't blame you one bit-and I'm glad that your going to get a nice shower because of your friend. That's very nice.
I would be doing the same thing as you. My MIL gets on my nerves big time sometimes and my DH has had to call her and set her straight. Good luck girl!
She already will be!! She is wonderful.
DH's mom is the definition of trash...we were raised very differently. He is not surprised by any of this; and to MIL, this is all about "HER grandbaby," it's as if DH and I are just 'babysitters' *eye roll*. His older brother's ex cut off all contact from his family to their daughter years ago...and now I absolutely see why!
Had everything else in this story been normal, I would have just said, let them have a surprise party, save a cute outfit to wear and make sure you wash your hair every Saturday
But changing the date and NOT including your family after they have formally invited them???? Rude, rude, rude!
I don't blame you for wanting to stay away. That's a big slap in the face. And I agree with the pp that said to have your H with you when you tell them what you are planning on doing. They need to know it's not just YOU that feels this way. They are hurting your husband, too.
Sorry this happened to you. I hope the shower your friend plans is made of awesome!My Acme Box last update 3/28/11
DS Desmond Alexander 6.9.11
DD Vivienne Elena 12.16.13
? EDD 3/29/2018
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