=..( Inlaws at it again!!!!

franciscaz · October 2008

I'm so sad right now. Today is our actual wedding anniversary and I'm just sitting here in my living room crying.

Last night MIL accussed me of planning to leave her son and accepting a new job in Las Vegas. How did she get this idea? Well BIL asked me what my plans were. I made him a promise that we were committed to this area and job for 6 months but that if it gets to the point where we can't make ends meet than I would need to commute back and forth to do financials for the magician I used to work for but we are not at that point yet.

I just don't know how much more of this I can take. They all say horrible things about me behind my back... They are often very rude to my face and see no problem in accusing me. Like Vultures they swooped right in when DH lost his job convincing us to go down here and now they act like they did us a huge favor (they had not sold a home in two months when we came and now the houses they are selling are directly b/c of things DH and I have done, like my idea of adding granite standard and DH's cist cutting which has lowered the hom prices by about 7,000 per unit!) DH won't stand up to them. If I stand up to them DH just feels I am being mean and making this worse. I can't take this any more... I dunno what to do!

Laroogirl · October 2008

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It must be frustrating. It is definitely your DH's place to say something since they are his parents. Good friends of ours have a similar problem. He moved to where she grew up and his mom gives her such a guilt trip for stealing her son and now keeping her grandson away from her. Unfornately, Drew won't stand up to his mom. It has been a constant battle for them. I hope it works out for you guys! (((hugs)))

Carmell226 · October 2008

I am sorry you are going through this, I unfortunatley do not have much advice because I also have HUGE issues with my ILs. But I have decided that now that Rylee is involved I will be speaking my mind, so if I do not agree with something MIL does or says I am going to tell her. And in this situation if I were you I would call them out on it or I would tell DH that if they do not stop this it could someday ruin your marriage, see what he has to say about that!!

I hope you feel better! ((HUGS)))

Max'smom · October 2008

I am sorry you are having a hard time. Is your DH able to see how you they make you feel or does he have blinders on? I don't really have any advise to give but if I were in your shoes, I would try to do my best to explain to DH what goes on when they are being mean, try to only be around when DH was around, and do my best to be the bigger person and ignore. They sound like they need drama and if you dont bite they should leave you alone. I know it sounds impossible.

Happy Anniversary! It is mine too.

SuperCuteBenz · October 2008

My aunt was in a similiar situation with her ILs. Mostly her MIL. Anyway, she would constantly compare my aunt to my uncle's ex-wife, etc. Plus, she often has lunch with the ex, and then rubs it in my aunts face. She always made it clear that she wished the ex and my uncle were still married (even though she had cheated on him).

Anyway, it went on like that for about 8 years, and my uncle would never really stand up to her. Finally, my aunt threatened to divorce him (they also have a child together) and move out. I think he finally noticed that she was serious and that it really hurt her. They went to marriage counseling and things started getting better. Now if she says something to my aunt, then they leave or they tell the MIL that she needs to leave. It may sound harsh, but it living like that isn't healthy for any relationship. Your DH really should say something.

Daisy77 · October 2008

Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through that. Inlaws suck sometimes and for what reason? Their own entertainment? I don't get it. A good friend of mine is having issues with her inlaws as well (mine is always ongoing) and we've just decided they think it's become acceptable to be rude.

I can agree with the feeling about standing up to them Sad If I do it, I'm seen as some uptight b*tch. I like my inlaws most days, but they've changed a LOT in the last 2 years and I'm just not okay with crap that they pull. If DH doesn't say something, it makes me feel like their feelings are more important. So it's okay for them to be disrepectful in our home because we don't want them to be offended? Not cool.

I've just had to calmly (and repeatedly) explain to DH why this stuff bothers me. One big reason is that this stuff never ends! And I talk to my family when we have issues with them, I expect him to do the same for his family. However, it's not my fault my family has a little more common sense than his Wink . And if they ever accused me of something like your inlaws did with your DH, the gloves would come off and I would not be responsible for the words that would be directed at them.

Just keep telling yourself that your inlaws are full of BS and know NOTHING about you or your relationship with your DH. It's none of their business and never will be. Your situation is between you and you DH and you guys will work it out for what is best for you and your family.

Good luck and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! Do something nice to celebrate Smile

tobeMrs.Wagner · October 2008

It sucks you are having to go through this. It sounds like your dh needs to grow a pair against them and standup for you. He should not allow them to speak to you that way and he should not put you in the position that you have to stand up for yourself. It is his family so he should be the one to deal with them. It would not be acceptable in my book for my dh to stand by and let his family speak to me that way. I hope it gets better for you.

Temp200154562509288 · October 2008

I'm so sorry, I hope things get better soon! Your DH needs to stand up to them! And you need to come back to Vegas so Harmon and Reese can have a play date!

FutureMrs.Brady · October 2008

That's just horrible of your MIL! What's her address? So I can...just kidding. I hate when people make things up..she sounds like she has no life. Some people just don't care about others feelings. Do something nice for your anniversary to get it off of your mind. GL with everything!

Mrs.N_2005 · October 2008

I think this is your DH's problem to deal with. If they are rude to your face does he really want his children growing up watching their mother be abused by his own family? Your DS and future children should never see you disrespected like that, especially by family. Maybe you should stop attending family functions for a while. Tell DH that he can make up reasons why you're not there or tell them the truth, which would be it's not a healthy environment for your DS or your marriage. Sorry, if this seems harsh, I'm in a similar situation and might be a tad bitter Smile

angelsmile · October 2008

You know this. The problem is not really them anymore. They are hateful and ungrateful and ridiculous, but that's obviously just who they are. They only have as much power as you and DH let them have.

STOP giving any information to these people, even hypotheticals. They are just shopping for and saving ammo. You need to talk to DH, and he either needs to step up and GROW SOME BALLS to stop this behavior, or get the hell off your back when you do it. Continue standing up for yourself, that sweet little boy doesn't need more than one doormat of a parent.

I think losing his job deflated your DH more than normal, and now he seems to be wrapped up in his family's businesses...he may be feeling that without them he IS nothing. He may be needing some motivation and some good words to re-realize his self worth.

I can see how BIL would be concerned if his business is wrapped up with your DH...I can see his concern about y'all staying in the area. But if you are going to continue to be honest with him, he needs to keep the rest of the family out of it.

I can't remember exactly what y'all's work situation is, but if it's ONLY that DH is working with family...a job search needs to begin now. Only in the best of circumstances and families does business and family mix well and it sounds like that's not possible here b/c they do not respect your marriage.

Want a personalized experience?

=..( Inlaws at it again!!!!

Re: =..( Inlaws at it again!!!!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards