Holy crap...(NBR)

Pocky873 · February 2011

I just found out that my SIL and her husband are getting a divorce. Turns out, he cheated on her. I'm completely stunned over here and unable to think about anything else. They've been having problems, but I didn't think he would stoop that low. They have two kids and I feel so awful for them. I'm pretty sure at least the older one knows (she's 13).

sexyntexy · February 2011

UGH! So sad. I hope I never have to go through that.

DaisyFull · February 2011

I'm so sorry.

CincyBuckeye · February 2011

sexyntexy:
UGH! So sad. I hope I never have to go through that.

For real, that sucks. And it affects the whole family so it's understandable you can't think about anything else!

boomersooner9779 · February 2011

oh, that sucks! especially for those kiddos

KRMac · February 2011

Aw, that's awful.

Pocky873 · February 2011

Yeah, apparently, SIL kicked him out and told him to get all of his stuff out of the house before she gets home from work tonight. She's changing the locks, too.

jamdv3 · February 2011

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Divorce is always hard, esp on kids. I hope your SIL has the strength and support she needs to get through this.

I was 13 when this happened to me, exactly. If it's any source of comfort to you, everything's okay now. you get through it. It was really hard at first, and I dealt with years of bitterness and resentment towards my dad, but as an adult, I can see how much happier he is with my stepmom. Do I think he went about it the right way? hell no. But we've all moved on and we're okay now, the exception being my mother.

I feel really bad for your niece/nephews. I think the most important thing for the 13 year old is that BOTH parents are upfront about the situation (maybe not about the cheating part) and communicate. Also, as hard as it is not to, if your SIL's husband is a pretty decent guy who still really loves his kids, your SIL needs to try NOT to make her husband appear as a bad father/horrible person. My mom did this to us and it really affected my relationshp with my dad and stepmom for so long, even though they both really loved me and regretted the way things went down. My dad's not a bad person, he just made 1 bad choice. And now I'm a little bitter towards my mom bc she worked so hard all those years to draw us away from him when he still really loved us and wanted to spend time with us.

I want to make myself clear though--i'm not trying to defend my dad's actions nor do i condone adultery! But I also don't believe in cutting someone off because of 1 big mistake. He's still a really good man--that's the only bad thing I've ever known him to do, and he's apologized for not divorcing my mom first before initiating another relationship. I don't know anything about your SIL's husband, but I guess I'm just trying to share my insight based on my experience, in case your SIL's situation is slightly similar.

Sorry, didn't mean to spill my life story. Your post took me back to my teen years and I just thought I'd share.

Pocky873 · February 2011

jamdv3:

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Divorce is always hard, esp on kids. I hope your SIL has the strength and support she needs to get through this.

I was 13 when this happened to me, exactly. If it's any source of comfort to you, everything's okay now. you get through it. It was really hard at first, and I dealt with years of bitterness and resentment towards my dad, but as an adult, I can see how much happier he is with my stepmom. Do I think he went about it the right way? hell no. But we've all moved on and we're okay now, the exception being my mother.

I feel really bad for your niece/nephews. I think the most important thing for the 13 year old is that BOTH parents are upfront about the situation (maybe not about the cheating part) and communicate. Also, as hard as it is not to, if your SIL's husband is a pretty decent guy who still really loves his kids, your SIL needs to try NOT to make her husband appear as a bad father/horrible person. My mom did this to us and it really affected my relationshp with my dad and stepmom for so long, even though they both really loved me and regretted the way things went down. My dad's not a bad person, he just made 1 bad choice. And now I'm a little bitter towards my mom bc she worked so hard all those years to draw us away from him when he still really loved us and wanted to spend time with us.

I want to make myself clear though--i'm not trying to defend my dad's actions nor do i condone adultery! But I also don't believe in cutting someone off because of 1 big mistake. He's still a really good man--that's the only bad thing I've ever known him to do, and he's apologized for not divorcing my mom first before initiating another relationship. I don't know anything about your SIL's husband, but I guess I'm just trying to share my insight based on my experience, in case your SIL's situation is slightly similar.

Sorry, didn't mean to spill my life story. Your post took me back to my teen years and I just thought I'd share.

Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate your insight. I'm sorry to hear about all of the emotional ups and downs you've had in your life, but it's good to know that you've reached a point where you can look back and acknowledge that your father is a good person.

My SIL's husband thus far hasn't been the greatest of dads - he loves his kids very much, but he does put his work before family, and my SIL always complained that he was never around to help her out. I hope this kicks him in the a$$ and makes him realize how important his family is.

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