Hospital visitors - what are your requests?
RunningGal900
member
DH and I have been discussing what to tell family and friends regarding visiting in the hospital. I think that as long as I have a normal birth and am feeling fine, we'll welcome visitors (DH has a lot of family in town). I personally think I'd rather have them in the hospital than at home where I feel like I have to entertain them (plus, I think people are less likely to overstay their welcome at a hospital). But, we are asking that everyone call, text or email before they come so we can be sure it fits in our schedule. We are also asking that if anyone is showing any signs or symptoms of a cold or flu that they not come until they are better.
What are your requests of hospital visitors? What are we not thinking of? Obviously, if I'm not feeling well, or if there is a problem with the baby, things may change. We may also institute "naptime" or "breaktime" for a few hours every day where we don't allow any visitors.
Re: Hospital visitors - what are your requests?
I had AMAZING nurses with both kiddos...
We couldn't really stop visitors, we asked for people to let us know but once the word got out, people were in and out left and right....
My nurses let me know to ding them and ask for a 'strawberry milkshake'..that was my word for 'i've had enough' and she would come in and kick everyone out!!!
see if they will do that for you - i loved it!!
they told me i had to be nice, they could be mean for me lol
Our plan is after delivery, let everyone see her for a few minutes, then ask everyone to leave for an hour or two so that I can nurse, and we can have some family bonding time. Then let people come as they want.
This was also our plan for #1, but she ended up in the NICU immediately after birth, so of course, our whole plan went out the window.
I figure that there will be a break every 2-3 hours when I need to nurse, that we'll ask everyone to step out of the room for a while so I can do that. It will be a nice little break, but not so long that people feel like we're kicking them out!
Our parents are allowed to come in and visit once I have had my epidural and before we are at the pushing phase of things.
Once it's time for the main event, it's just going to be me and DH. After that, I'm asking that no one be allowed in until I have had a chance to get cleaned up and we've had a little time together as a family. I know the grandmothers will be chomping at the bit to get in, but I also know they will respect our wishes.
After that, they are welcome to come hang out, and we'll just play it by ear. I'm lucky to have understanding family, if I ask for a break or some time to ourselves, I know they will give it to us without a fuss.
I'm with you on the "if you're sick, please stay away" request.
Our hospital requires an elevator code for people to get up to the Mommy and baby floor and the code changes daily, so thankfully, people won't be able to show up unannounced.
Once baby is born and we are cleaned up and settled, DH will start calling family with the elevator code so they can come visit. We are going on the hospital tour this weekend, so I will find out more info about hospital policies at that time, but I think we'll probably just go with the flow. If a family member or friend calls and wants to come visit, as long as everything is ok, we'll probably give them the code and let them come on.
You so won't be getting my elevator code.
We don't have any family right in town. MH's sister lives a few hours away, but I doubt she'll come visit right away. We're going to call my parents to get in the car (they live eight hours away) when I go into labor.
We have a few friends nearby who will want to come visit. We'll call and let them know after the baby is born and we're ready for visitors. If for some reason they wouldn't take the please-leave-now hint, I'm sure my mom will kick them out for me. She's blunt like that.
I am letting people come visit before the pushing, which I know will most likely be my parents, sister, brother and SIL. Then after I have the baby, and we are all cleaned up then I will be allowing visitors again. We are allowing anyone who wants to come to come, but since the hospital is about 2 hrs from where we live I am guessing only family will come to the hospital and once we are home and settled our friends will start stopping by.
Of course, if there are any complications our policy will probably change, but for now this is what we are going with.
I told DH absolutely no visitors in the hospital with the exception of immediate family. DH's family is spread out all over the U.S. & he isn't close to them so they won't be showing up at all. So that leaves my mom, dad, sister, brother, step mom, & my 9 year old niece. My family is the type that will call first and don't outwear their welcome, so I am not too concerned about them not giving DH & I our family time.
DH is in total agreement with my request so we have no issues. Thank God!
I agree with a lot of previously pointed out things - no sick people, only the people I truly want to see me at my worst will be there etc.
I'm sure lots of DH's coworkers will stop by to visit us before their shifts because we are delivering 3 minutes away from his job so I'm just requesting that they call us before they come so I can send the baby to the nursery and they can see her behind the glass window. They're all cops so God only knows what junk they have crawling all over their uniforms plus I don't really know too many of them and I would be uncomfortable having them touch my newborn baby regardless.
My hospital also has a 'no one under 12' rule (unless it's the birth mothers children) which I really like. SIL was going to *try* to come visit while we were in the hospital and her two brats... erh, I mean, kids, would just drive me nuts. They have no self control and are never told no so a hospital room would not be the best place for them. So this keeps them at bay until we're home at least (and even then, idk what I'm going to say to 'keep them away').
My number 1 request is for my guests to respect me and DH's wishes. If we ask for alone time, go sit at the McD's (one is located inside the hospital for pete's sake) or take a walk. If I want to take a shower, don't sit there and wait for me to come out, give me a break. If I want/need a nap, let me nap. I just know the IL's will try to push their boundaries as much as they can and I have no problem telling the nurse to set them straight aka kick them out. I really plan on using 'teamwork' with the nurses so hopefully I get some nice ones.
June Siggy: Fave pic of Aubrey and me
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Hilarious!
No visitors at the hospital until the baby is born. After that, then my family and friends are welcome.
I decided, for now, that I do not want people visiting while I am in labor, asking me if I am in pain, wondering how dilated I am, wondering how much longer it will be, asking about epidurals/drugs, etc. So, no one will be called to come over until the baby is here.
We live in AZ and our families are back in CA (about 6 hr drive), so I'm not too worried about unexpected visitors. My mom is planning on coming out for two weeks, starting 3 days before EDD so as long as LO isn't too early she will be here when I go into labor. On the way to the hospital DH will call his family but they probably wont get here for several hours, or maybe even the next day depending on what time of day it is. So I'm thinking we'll just have my mom at first and then MIL, FIL, and SILs so it wont be too crowded. I'm not too picky about how much they're at the hospital as long as they are respectful of when I need a nap or need to BF, but my mom isn't exactly shy so if the IL's need to leave the room I'm sure she'll be the one to kick them out (DH is very diplomatic and never wants to upset anyone). The only thing I'm big about is that if some how everyone gets there before LO is born I only want DH and my mom in the room while I'm pushing. DH was a little upset about this at first, wondering why his mom couldn't be in the room. But I pointed out to him, his parents can be in the room up until the point where the dr tells me to put my leggs in the air, there is no reason for anyone who doesn't need to see that to see it! The only reason I want my mom there is because she's been a nurse for 30+ years, so I'll be relying on her to make sure everything is done right.
I was completely surprised with who showed up and when when DS was born.
SIL and DH's aunt were there early in the morning - they said they were in the area, which I don't believe since neither lives anywhere near the hospital. They stayed for a very very short time and my parents and brothers came next. My mom wouldn't let anyone come until later that day to give us time but I was dying for them to get there. After that it was all sort of a blur of visitors walking in and out. DH's parents wanted to come but by the time they got their act together it was getting really late and DH was beat since he was sick and I hate them so I won't be alone with them anyway. I told DH to hold off on them coming until the next day and they came the next morning but only stayed for a short amount of time.
My rule for this time around...no one shows up without a sandwich or pizza for me. I hate the food at the hospital and I was starving the whole time. I made my mom bring me something with each visit and DH kept taking yogurts from the cafeteria for me.
That sounds like a fabulous rule!