- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Adoption
HTT - changing the name on the birth certificate
In the US, once a child is legally adopted - the birth certificate is changed and it lists the adoptive parents as the parents on the birth certificate. It does not show as amended or anything - looks exactly as any other birth certificate.
Now, I can understand why it is done - allows families to not have to tell every single agency that would require a BC that the child is adopted and then also have to show adoption papers, etc
So - when the child is registered for school, or applies for a drivers license, or whatever they just provide a bc just like everyone else would.
My issue with this is it is a BIRTH certificate. So, looking at it it appears that the adoptive parents are in fact the birth parents. Not sure why it bothers me so much - but it really does.
What are your thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: HTT - changing the name on the birth certificate
In my state, the original birth certificate and adoption records are kept (sealed) as part of the child's birth record and when they are 19, they and they alone can access it (regardless of whether the adoption is open or closed). So their original birth record is preserved 100% for their eyes only if and when they want it.
In states where it is totally replaced/destroyed, I have a problem with that.
Actually, it does protect the child's privacy and their roots. Not every child is comfortable to disclosing to every person they meet that they're adopted. When they register for school, they don't need to know they're adopted. When they go get a driver's license or a passport, those people don't need to know they're adopted.
If the child is comfortable telling, that's fantastic. If not, and in case they run into people who have negative opinions about adoption and might say negative things, it protects the child's privacy. That's why keeping the original birth record and adoption records intact is so important. I do NOT think an amended birth certificate is the way to go. Adopted children have the right to share their stories in their own way. And while I think that their information/history/roots should be available to them, it should not be available to any nosy school secretary or DMV worker to take note of and comment on as s/he sees fit.
Scenario: Parents register child for school. Nosy school secretary takes copy of birth certificate (all the while shaking her head at the poor "adopted" child...and taking mental notes so she can gossip to her buddies). She thinks adoption is wrong for whatever reason and then proceeds to track down the birthmother (still on the birth certificate...since it's just an amended birth certificate that shows both sets of parents) and then discloses where the child is registered at school while she proceeds to tell the birthmother how she feels about adoption.
She has now violated the privacy of the child and the privacy of the birthmother. She has also potentially told the birthmother where the child lives/goes to school (maybe it's only semi-open and they only exchange info through an agency, or maybe it's closed and the birthmother didn't want any contact). What if it was a safety situation with a foster child who was adopted and now the birthmother goes to the child's school and the secretary knows that it's the birthmother and lets her see the child?
I know all of this is pretty far-fetched, but at the same time, it's a slippery slope when you're talking about the privacy of the child, birthparents and adoptive parents. Ideally, a birth record is needed. Ideally, it needs to list the custodial parents, even if they aren't who gave birth...if only because we use birth certificates so much as means of identification. The privacy implications are huge until we stop using it as ID (which isn't going to happen any time soon).
Like I said - I understand WHY it is done, and agree that it is not fair to an adopted child to have to always be labeled as such, or to provide extra documentation. maybe instead of birth certificate - it should be "Identification" certificate.
Let's be honest - I know that will never happen.
But, also playing Devil's Advocate - the birth cert is changed. the child grows up thinking that his adoptive parents are his birth parents. Finds out years down the line that he is adopted. Does it happen, YES - I am sure of it. Do most people tell their children that they are adopted - YES as well.
My Blog
But would changing the birth certificate to an identification document make those people tell their children they're adopted? No. They would just "lose" the birth certificate and only have the identification document to fall back on.
People who want to keep the truth hidden will always find a way.
I understand why it's done. I think it's weird sometimes, but I get the arguments listed above by Mrs.B and company.
What I really don't like is the states (and there are many) that don't permit adoptees to have access to their original birth certificates, even after they reach adulthood. That feels very wrong to me -- not only are those states protecting the child's privacy etc., but they're denying that the child ever had a history before that second BC was issued.
As my adopted brother put it: "I know who I am now. But I want to know who I was." All he wants to know is the legal name given to him at birth. The agency told my parents a first name for him when he was placed with them, but there is reason to believe that might not be the name on his birth certificate and might have just been the name that the temp. caregiver called him. The adoption decree (which my parents do have) only gives his initials, then lists his new name. He doesn't know what his name was at birth. And because he was born in a state that forever seals adoptees' birth certificates, he's not likely to ever find out.
GulfCoaster...I agree that is VERY sad. It's why I'm so glad that our state has that information available to her at any time after 19. I know it isn't readily available in other states though. And our adoption decrees (also sealed until the child is 19) list the birthparent/s names, addresses at the time of adoption, and the name they give the child (if different).
I think there should at least be that transparency in every single state. And I think it would be much easier to change that and make much more sense than trying to have some new or amended birth certificate or identification document. That way, regardless of closed/semi-open/open or foster adoption...every single child would be able to know where they came from at some point in their lives. Even if they don't want to do anything with that information.
In my mind, it's essentially a government document misrepresentation. I don't really have strong feelings one way or another, but I think it's kind of silly in a lot of cases. Take children who are adopted at an older age or interracially...or internationally. It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. My son's birth certificate, issued in Peru, shows me and my husband as his parents.
As far as maintaining privacy, it only works in cases where the child looks remotely like his/her parents. In addition, people entrusted to see your government identifications are generally also held to confidentiality standards. That nosey school secretary you described should be fired, if not civilly liable and possibly criminally responsible for her actions.
I don't really have thoughts on it either way. Maybe it's because we have so much other documentation with DD's birthparent information and even her pre-adoption name. Maybe it's because we have a semi-open adoption agreement and know we could get a copy of her original BC from her BM if we/she really wanted to.
It was weird to receive her new BC and know that we didn't birth her, but like I said, I don't really have strong thoughts on it either way. I can see the arguments for why it's done.
Sure, they have ethical and in some cases signed confidentiality agreements...but it doesn't stop people from breeching them all the time.
Did you hear about the DMV worker who sent a letter to someone's HOME berating them for being transgendered...I believe the DMV worker told the woman she was an abomination and was going to hell. This happened in 2009 and the DMV worker wasn't fired right away...they also refused to process at least one other gender change. There is a civil lawsuit now and the DMV won't say whether the employee is still on staff or not calling it a "personnel matter"...so we'll see what happens, obviously they weren't concerned enough about it in 2009 to fire that employee for such a huge breech of privacy.
Anytime you go to a public office and disclose information, unfortunately you're opening yourself up to someone who doesn't follow the rules or confidentiality agreements and it's totally naive of us to think that we or our children will be treated fairly and privacy will be respected. If we can protect our children in some small way...I think we should. Again, I think the problem lies in the bureaucracy behind the piece of paper...and that is changing the law of each state so that every child has access to their original birth certificate and adoption paperwork.
We by mistake got a copy of DD's birth certiifcate and I made a copy even though I knew I was not suppose to see it......... DD's grandmother gave us the orginal one she had when she left DD with us go home. I have both and keep them together.
I want DD to see the first one even though I already knew everything on it. I am sad that there is no father listed so we may never know that. I remember when I saw mine for the first time I was in aw even though I knew everything on it.
We get a new birth cert- I don't see the harm in it- I don't need her orginal birth cert to tell her she's adopted. While adoption is how our family was formed and we would never hide that from her, it will not define us a family. DD should be able to grow up and not always have to explain that she's adopted. Can you imagine being 16 and getting your drivers license and having to explain that you are adopted, or when you get married having to explain it all over again. I feel that adopted children would always feel different, I want her to grow up a well adjusted kid, not going through life thinking she different then everyone else because she has to explain everytime that she's adopted and that's why her birth cert is different from everyone elses. Yes it's how DD came to us, but it's not all who she is- her adoption is small part of her life in the grand scheme of things.
Now, granted we will have a closed adoption- we have very little info on her birth mom and no info on her birth father- so I can see where things would be a little different with an open adoption and open relationships with birth parents.
Oh, Okay. Thanks! Our agency actually sent the copy to us so maybe since our relationship is so open with her is why we got one. I like having it but haven't needed it for anything yet.
Ya know, I have first hand knowledge of this as an adoptee myself. When my stepdad adopted me, I received a new birth certificate. The issue date is 2/18/1988, but I was born in 1978. It does show that my stepdad is my father, and had his age on it at the time of my birth. It is my legal certificate. In fact when the adoption was final, my mom had to surrender the original to the state and it was destroyed. When I applied to the CIA 10 years ago, I actually had to explain to the agent why it had an issue date of 10 years after my birth. He couldn't understand why I didn't have the original. I told him he would have to talk to the state of NC if he had a problem.
My adoption records are actually sealed, and if I ever needed a new certificate, I would have to physically walk into the courthouse in Raleigh, NC where the sealed records are kept.
So while it is my birth certificate, it does say that the issue date is after my birth. It is a different color in fact to show that it is an "amended" certificate, eventhough it doesn't say amended on it. It is just color coded for state purposes.
I've always thought it was weird C had a birth certificate with a different name that we've never seen/don't have access to, etc. And MrsB made some good points about how every Tom, *** and Harry who sees C's birth certificate does not need to automatically know he was adopted.
I wonder if part of the rationale for replacing the birth certificate in its entirety is to protect the birth parents. We were not supposed to have any identifying information for C's BM. We do because the hospital had her last name on his crib, wristband, etc. But in closed or semi-open situations, a new birth certificate ensures that the BM's information isn't released against her wishes.
this is pretty much what i think...
TTC since 2005
missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
3 failed femara iui cycles-
moving on to IVF oct 2011
ER nov. 7th
tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
lots of +hpt!!
beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
another miscarriage 12/23
moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
ET 4/28 3 transfered
Beta #1- 356
Beta #2- 870
This has always bothered me.
I was adopted by my stepfather when I was 8. My birth cert. was amended and has his name as the birth father. I loved him, he is and was my dad more than the donor ever was, but I feel it is very wrong. My parents at my birth were X and Y not X and Z.
ETA: I have had to actually explain it to a few government official like the person above, as to why it is dated a certain way, and to a few schools I have attended as to why my name was changed when I was 8 since all of my earlier records have my old last name. I guess if it was from birth I might feel differently.
I think thats how it should be. Its the childs story and they may or very well may not want to always be open with it. I look at it this way Jennifer was our daughter from the moment she was born...from birth.
I know on JLKs orginal birth cert. it doesnt even list her birthfather so it is already missing info and techincally incorrect...
br
We got both in the mail. So JLK has both. I will tell you it knocked the wind out of me to see her orginal and not me listed as her mother. Maybe thats just a cali thing
br
With the increasing popularity of open adoptions, or at least the openness of people who are adopting/have adopted, I think all babies should be given an identification card to use in lieu of their birth certificate.
Then we can have the original BC and an amended one that can state it has been amended, but no one other than the family needs to see either one. Well... perhaps the government agency will need to see it when the baby is in infant, along with their SS card, to issue the ID card. But from that point forward all people should request the child's ID card instead of the supporting documents. This would protect the identity and history of all children.
Of course, this is far fetched and I am sure it would have its own host of problems, such as the government agency contacting birth parents, etc. Just a thought.
I agree with PPs that all children should have access to both BCs.
I'm an adoptee. I think that how adoption issues, in this case a birthcertificate, are handled should focus on what's best for the adoptee even if it isn't best for the other memebers in the triad (adoptive and birthparents.) My adoptive parents chose to adopt and my natural mother chose to place me for adoption. I was never given a choice.
I don't have an issue with not being able to tell my birthcertificate is amended except that I know I'm adopted. I agree with OP that I don't want to have to share my story with eveyone I may have to show my birthcertificate to. I also don't want to have to listen to nosy secretaries say insensitive things because of what they "know" about adoption.
I do have a big problem with the fact that I can't have my original birthcertificate unless I'm willing to spend over $1000 in legal fees. I've been reunited with my natural mother for years now and we are very close. Her and my adoptive mom talk frequently. In my case, eveyone involved has completely opend up my adoption but I'm still not legally allowed access to my information. If my adoptive parents had chosen to not tell me I was adopted they wouldn't have had to and I have a huge problem with that. I don't really care about my parent's ( adoptive or natural) right to privacy because they got to make a choice and I didn't.