Mom vent (my mom)
My mom and I have a not so great relationship. We didn't talk for about 1.5 years before I became pg with DS. Then when I told her I was pg she was all oh I'm going to be a grandma, I'm so involved blah blah blah....
Now I know this is a double edged sword because I don't really want her in my son's life other than the occasional visit. But I do get jealous or hurt when she does things like what she did today...
She's currently at the hospital with my cousin who just had her second baby via c-section this morning. (her DS is 4 days younger than my LO so we had our 1st babies at hte same time)
The part that hurts.......... she didn't come see me AT ALL when I had LO and was in the hospital for 4 days and had really bad complications with the birth, in fact not a single family member came to see me (I'm 2 hours away) just my BFF
....... and she had off work for 2 of those days I was in the hospital... so she can't come see her grandson being born, but can go see my cousins kid being born....
Grr Mother daughter relationships are so hard! It's just that my feelings are hurt that she never has the time to make an effort (a non buying me something effort) with me.
Re: Mom vent (my mom)
That would have been really upsetting to me too. Does she have an unusually close relationship with your cousin (not that it would be an excuse not to visit you when you had your DS especially when you had complications)?
Sorry about all of this- it definitely sucks.
She forces herself on my cousin, because I'm close with that cousins mom. The cousin complains to me constantly about my mom and how she just randomly shows up at her house and work. (she's a hairstylist)
Ugh, Erica.. I'm sorry! Mom situations SUCK. That would really bum me out. I TRY to say I'll have no expectations of my mom but it's really, really hard. She huts me again and again!
Just remember - she is the one losing out! So many people love Andrew (in fact, Jude was just asking about him this AM!) so HER LOSS!
Noel - August 2010
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Like PP said you need to realize that it's her loss. She may act like super-grandma when you are around others but don't worry...you can always tell when someone is a good grandma and someone is a pretend grandma.
My MIL has done things like this (not that extreme) to me and it's been very hurtful. She has treated my SILs (DH's brother's wives) like family and me like an 'add on'. It sucks. I've come to grips with that's how she is and while I won't keep her from her grandson I'm not bending over backward so she can be 'grandma of the year' in front of her friends when she ignores my child most of the time and spoils the other grandkids.