DH and I seem to not be on the same page about ANYTHING since DS has been born. It is SO weird! I don't think he does enough around the house, and he doesn't think I appreciate the work that he does away from the house. When he comes home he wants to play with the baby and relax. I want someone to feed the baby at 3am (I FF) so I can get more than 4 hours sleep at night. I know a lot of this is me being home with just the baby (he is a pilot- gone 3-4 days a week). I also know it is just hormones and growing pains. It sucks, though...I thought these days would be more about us as a family unit.
We were SO good at being a team before LO. I don't want to end up being bitter, resentful parents. How do we get back on the same page?
Re: Having issues with DH?
It is a very difficult transition. You definitely need to speak up about your feelings and work out a compromise as to what is fair. Also, I think a lot of men don't understand how difficult it is taking care of a child all alone. You may want to give him a lesson and leave him alone to take care of LO on his day off for a period of time. He will most likely develop empathy about how difficult your job is.
I don't get why so many women volunteer all the night feedings just because they are not working. I can see in your case that your DH needs to be alert flying a plane, but I'm guessing the other 3-4 nights he's not at work, he's at home. It was never an option for DH-being a mom is a job just as much as one outside the home is. Of course I tend to do more of the housework but nighttime is a team effort.
When we're dealing with an infant that isnt sleeping, we do shifts for middle of the night feedings. I learned to go to sleep early, so I'd crash around 730-8pm and DH would take the kids from the time I fell asleep until around 1230. I'd take over the rest of the night until he got up for work. That ensured we both at least got 5 hours of consecutive sleep and helps us both function better.