WDYT?

.completely.amazing.love. · January 2011

When DH & I got together in February 2008 BM stopped letting DH see SS(2 1/2) because she didn't like me. (they didn't have a court order at the time.) so we filed for custody & finally went to court in October 2008. DH ended up with the 1st, 2nd, and 4th weekends of the month & split holidays. We were trying to get 50/50 custody but were denied. He was told it was because SS was not in school & BM wasn't working (they wanted SS to actually be spending time with his parent when he's in their custody.) Sounds like a bunch of BS to me but whatever.

Fast forward to now. DH works 6am-2:30pm on weekdays, SS(5 1/2) is in school from 8am-2pm, & BM works 8am-5pm I believe. Do you think we'd get 50/50 custody of stepson or at least more time if we take BM to court now? (We live 25-30 minutes from SS & BM.)

karatechrissy · January 2011

We went to court this past summer over CS, then BM countered us for full custody (DH has had 50/50 with her since the divorce). Her lawyers put in the papers that now she was a SAHM and that DH worked and it wasn't fair to the child to let 'his step mother raise him' (which this wasn't exactly accurate but I won't get into details). The judge basically said that one parent staying home and the other working has no weight on the custody. He declared that the 50/50 stand. Now fastforward 4 months BM got a job. I'm glad court went the way it did or we would have been back in court. IDK how it works in Ohio, but it seems to work the opposite here.

I would think that if she works now the judge wouldn't really have a choice but to give you more time, since his reasoning for not before was for 2 things that don't apply now. I'm not a professional though so don't quote me ;-) lol

fellesferie · January 2011

Is he 2 1/2 now or was he 2 1/2 when you got the original order? If he's 2 1/2 now, I think that's awfully young for 50/50--though I'm sure others would disagree.

In any case, XH and I have a sort of agreement where we revisit custody issues every 2 years. We recalculate CS, discuss holidays, etc. Since it's been 3ish years since you went to court, I don't see what harm could come from at least talking with a lawyer and seeing what your chances might be.

.completely.amazing.love. · January 2011

fellesferie:

Is he 2 1/2 now or was he 2 1/2 when you got the original order? If he's 2 1/2 now, I think that's awfully young for 50/50--though I'm sure others would disagree.

In any case, XH and I have a sort of agreement where we revisit custody issues every 2 years. We recalculate CS, discuss holidays, etc. Since it's been 3ish years since you went to court, I don't see what harm could come from at least talking with a lawyer and seeing what your chances might be.

He was 2 1/2 when DH & I start dating & was 3 by the time we got the original order. He's 5 1/2 now.

nickelbabi · January 2011

I would suggest talking to your lawyer because they know the judges in your area well and know what has happened in similar cases. Just based on the fact it has been a couple of years and the situation has changed with SS being older and in school, I think you have legitimate reason to ask for the visitation/physical custody arrangement to be changed. Try to come up with a parenting plan for your ideal situation that could work well for SS for several years. Be prepared for for CS to be re-evaluated, too.

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