I am just a lurker but I saw that you mentioned Emilia has kidney issues. I just wanted to say that my youngest sister had the same issue at around 2 years old. She was getting UTI's back to back, pretty much as soon as she would finish one round of antibiotics the infection would be back. They did the catheter dye tests and determined it was the reflux issue. She had surgery to correct it at 2 and 1/2 years old and was immediately a totally new child. Her eyes had a healthy glow to them and she started growing hair (she'd pretty much been bald up until then). She is now 18 and I think has only had about 2 or 3 UTIs since the surgery.
Sorry, this got really long but basically all I wanted to say was that I totally understand that the idea of surgery is scary but just wanted to give a positive experience from someone who's seen the benefits of it.
I hope that Emilia gets better one way or another! HTH!