Anyone else still not left LO?

LCB34 · January 2011

I have never been away with Kate for more than 2.5 hours. And, she has never been with anyone but her Dad. Well, I left her with my MIL for 30 minutes when she was 5 weeks old but I freaked the freak out.

Am I alone in never really leaving LO?

I never thought I would be this type of mom. And, I keep telling myself that I haven't left her due to her health issues.

But, I?m starting to wonder if I am earning a major side eye.

I start work part time March 1 and I am literally having panic attacks about it and considering not returning to work. But, my husband thinks it will be good for me to have set days outside of the house and with adult interaction. I want to try going back but, I?m thinking I?ll last about a month before I quit.

renc9828 · January 2011

I have definitely left him a few times. I think it is important for all moms to have a life outside of their LOs.

I agree with A on this one! You will survive even if you cry a lot at first. G always has to distract me right after we leave him, because I get emotional.

emriley84 · January 2011

see my post below, lol. I have left him twice to go to the Dr's. Once to go to my work Christmas party and he was already in bed.

kcl22 · January 2011

The longest I've been away from J is 3 hours and he was with SO. I went back to work last week but I work from home so technically I'm still with him. I have no interest in leaving him. I EBF so that makes it a little harder to anyways but I just have no desire.

SO works evenings so it's not like we could have date nights out anyways. In my mind they're only this young once; even if I went a couple more months without being away from him it's just a blip in my whole life and you never get the time back. To each their own though; I wouldn't judge someone who felt better being away from baby every day. I can understand that point of view it just doesn't apply to me

Mt2G1012 · January 2011

Not quite, but close. I went back to work 3 days a week on Jan 3rd. But other than that I've never left her for more than a couple of hours and it was with DH to get my haircut. I don't want to leave her. I enjoy spending my time with her. So I don't think your are crazy for wanting to be with her. You are very lucky to be able to stay home for so long. I wish I didn't have to go back to work.

hopkins5 · January 2011

It will be good for you to get outta the house, but I'm not shooting you the side eye in the mean-time. I EBF and DD has never had a bottle, so I can't exactly leave her with someone else at this point. I think she's been with my mom for half an hour or so. My friends give me the side eye for not having left her overnight yet! SO not ready for that yet.

kimmyt09 · January 2011

I've only ever left him with my mom. If I ever do leave him with MIL, I'll be paranoid the whole time. I don't trust her like I do my own mother.

I think you should go back to work- I got a part time job to get me out of the house and it did wonders for me. Adult interaction (sans baby) is so good for you! I hope you find a nanny thats a good for Kate there has to be someone out there.

kelleylk · January 2011

You're not alone. I have yet to leave my DS. My DH keeps him every now and then so I can go to the Doc, Dentist, etc. He does stay in the nursery at church for 2 hours! Does this count! Haha...

I even decided to not return to work. I don't regret my decision either. I know in my heart that being a SAHM is the the right job for me.

swg2008 · January 2011

me the longest I've left LO was for about 15 mins when I ran to the store and left DD with DH

EDIT: I don't have a lot of help where I live though, my inlaws all live about 4 hours away, and I also EBF and don't have any stashed (I hate pumping)... that has a lot to do with it.

Mt2G1012 · January 2011

kcl22:
The longest I've been away from J is 3 hours and he was with SO. I went back to work last week but I work from home so technically I'm still with him. I have no interest in leaving him. I EBF so that makes it a little harder to anyways but I just have no desire.

SO works evenings so it's not like we could have date nights out anyways. In my mind they're only this young once; even if I went a couple more months without being away from him it's just a blip in my whole life and you never get the time back. To each their own though; I wouldn't judge someone who felt better being away from baby every day. I can understand that point of view it just doesn't apply to me

100% agree

SnoopyLuv · January 2011

We went on a 4 hour date a few weeks ago and left her with my aunt and uncle. I couldn't leave her with a babysitter, it would have to be family. I can't do daycare though so I'm staying at home. I have panic attacks thinking about her being with strangers. Hopefully by the time she's a year old I can start working and leave her with someone.

QueenBee320 · January 2011

I have only ever left LO for a couple hours at a time. The most being 5. I have never spent the night away from her, I can't yet anyway I EBF and she is not fond of a bottle. I never left DD#1 over night until she was almost 2 years old, she was literally 22 months. Anyway, it will be hard at first but you'll get used it and then it won't be so bad. And if it doesn't get easier you can always quit!

mamaregan · January 2011

I hate leaving DD. I have gone to get my hair done once which was about 4 hours and I left DD with hubby. Other than that my DH and I have had but 2 date nights, one of which lasted maybe 2 hours and the other maybe 4 hours. I EBF and DD has been on a bottle strike so it is kind of hard to leave her for more than 3 hours now. To be honest with you, I am thinking of DD the whole time I am gone anyway. Hopefully this phase will pass with time bc I can tell DH needs some mommy/daddy time.

hippotree · January 2011

I have left him a few times. It is much easier this time around than it was with Henry.

[Deleted User] · January 2011

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eclaires · January 2011

I've left her for a few hours w/ MH (maybe 2-3?), and we've gone out after she's in bed for the night while my ILs "watched" her. She slept the entire time we were gone though and she'd been sleeping that stretch rather consistently before we did that.

I was similar w/ my son - I don't see it as a big deal especially when they're this small as long as it works for you. My son is now 4, and he's spent a week at his grandparents' house in the last year w/out us. I think the first time he was away from me for a day or overnight was after he was a year old. Maybe 18m-2 years.

Lizzie65 · January 2011

I totally get it. I have left my daughter for a couple of hours with my parents (who I trust completely). But, that is it.

Thinking about leaving her for longer makes me feel physically ill. It is a real problem.

Kate621 · January 2011

I wish that not leaving him would have been an option for us. That being said, since we've been home we have left him a few different times with MIL & FIL. I think it is important (for parents and baby) to get out sans baby even if it is just for a few hours.

LCB34 · January 2011

Shana419:
I haven't. We don't live near family though, but even when we were visiting them over Christmas I had a hard time with it. I've left him with my sister for an hour or so but that's it. Part of it for me is EBFing, the other part is my issue of control and thinking that no one can take care of him like I can.

We don't have family here either which makes it really hard.

And, I have no problem admitting that I am a mega control freak about everything - especially Kate!

nadinethequeen01 · January 2011

renc9828:
I have definitely left him a few times. I think it is important for all moms to have a life outside of their LOs.

I agree with A on this one! You will survive even if you cry a lot at first. G always has to distract me right after we leave him, because I get emotional.

This. I don't want to lose myself just because I had a baby. I mean, of course I've changed and I love DD but it feels good when I can be my old self every once in a while.

ETA: I have only left her with family, DH and friends that I can trust. Now that I live in a city where I don't really trust anyone, I don't leave her unless DH is watching her. Which really sucks because that means we can never have a night alone together.

[Deleted User] · January 2011

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RunningWife · January 2011

We have left him one night a month with my parents. But, he's super comfortable with them.

However, he FREAKS (like meltdown of the century) when my MIL even holds him, so I don't know if I EVER will leave him with IL's...they're wonderful people, but he must just get weird vibes from them.

SimoneSays22 · January 2011

LCB34:
I have never been away with Kate for more than 2.5 hours. And, she has never been with anyone but her Dad. Well, I left her with my MIL for 30 minutes when she was 5 weeks old but I freaked the freak out.
Am I alone in never really leaving LO?
I never thought I would be this type of mom. And, I keep telling myself that I haven't left her due to her health issues.
But, I?m starting to wonder if I am earning a major side eye.
I start work part time March 1 and I am literally having panic attacks about it and considering not returning to work. But, my husband thinks it will be good for me to have set days outside of the house and with adult interaction. I want to try going back but, I?m thinking I?ll last about a month before I quit.

I never thought I'd be "that mom" either. But I'm already freaking out about leaving LO overnight in May for my cousin's bachelorette party (I'm the matron of honor).

emsrdh03 · January 2011

Wow. I can't believe how many of you have never left LO for more than a few hours. I'm not giving anyone the side eye...to each his own....you'd probably all side eye me for how much time I spend away from LO. As a working mom who had to go back after only 6 weeks, I guess leaving DS everyday at daycare just seems normal now and I figured by this point even the SAHMs would have had at least one day out.

HairStylinWifey · January 2011

I've only left A with my mom or MIL a handful of times for about 2 hours. Long enough for me to run to the store or DH and I to go out to dinner. They all live 2 hours away so its only every once in a while.

I can't even think about hiring a babysitter or leaving her in the nursery at church at this point. I am EBF like a lot of pp's have said, and I think that does have a lot to do with it. But I also truly love and enjoy being with her(not that mommies who go back to work dont, not saying that at all!) but I really just love being home and having time with her.

So definitely no side eye from me!

[Deleted User] · January 2011

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shannond354 · January 2011

I have left him a few times. My IL's (they're great and I trust them), my mom and a good friend who used to work in daycares. I have never been gone for more than a few hours and he doesn't mind a bottle even though I EBF. I enjoy my time away from him- judge away. Sometimes those 2 hours are such a relief. Coming home is that much sweeter.

Yules · January 2011

emsrdh03:
Wow. I can't believe how many of you have never left LO for more than a few hours. I'm not giving anyone the side eye...to each his own....you'd probably all side eye me for how much time I spend away from LO. As a working mom who had to go back after only 6 weeks, I guess leaving DS everyday at daycare just seems normal now and I figured by this point even the SAHMs would have had at least one day out.

Same here, we had a 3 day getaway as soon as LO was weened. Around the 9th week. It was pretty awesome, we needed it.

snansley · January 2011

You need to leave her for a bit. Go have dinner with your husband. Go to a movie, whatever. The first few times may be difficult, but everyone will survive. You'll get past the fears and it will get easier. She is not the same baby she was at 5 weeks and you are not in the same place you were. Leave instructions, emergency numbers, whatever.

Going back to work will be an adjustment. You will have an easier time of it if you have spent some time apart. I get that you are worried about her health and I know it must be stressful, but you need to take care of you. And that means being able to leave her and being able to enjoy some time with your DH.

sandy02 · January 2011

LOL! Ive still never left Ethan!! So certainly havent left Lance yet!

LilacStar11 · January 2011

Yikes, I guess I am really pathetic. The farthest and longest I have gone is outside for 45 minutes to shovel snow while she was napping. Indifferent

JBrianne · January 2011

I'd like to say I'm not giving you the side eye, but since I give one of my friends the side eye IRL for the same thing, well...

we left DS with the IL's for 8ish hours the other day. It was heavenly and I have to admit, I barely missed him. It was amazing to be able to go out with friends and not worry about him crying in public (we went to an art gallery and then to dinner) or having to feed him (EBF - I pumped while we were out). However, I always knew I'd be one of those moms who would be more relaxed about leaving LO with people, because I'm pretty much the opposite of a control freak in all facets of life.

katlor9 · January 2011

I'm away from him for at least 9 hours a day 5 days a week. I was extremely sad at first and cried even thinking about going back to work, but it really wasn't that bad!

Bailey81 · February 2011

He's younger than Kate, but I haven't left him with anyone other than my spouse for a couple of hours. Haven't started looking for a babysitter yet. Probably should.

I think having a kid with health issues earns you a pass on a lot of things.

mrsf123 · February 2011

I could have written this post myself, LCB.

I have to go to a wedding this weekend. We'll be away from DD for 6 hours, and it will be BY FAR the longest I've been away from her. I mostly have gone out to run some errands and left her with DH or gone out to dinner with DH and left her with my mom or my MIL.

DH says the same thign to me... going back parttime will be good for me. I'm also starting 1 day a week in March and then 2 days a week in May. Unfortunately, I'm not in a position to quit work completely and I do love my job, but I have panic attacks thinking about leaving her for an entire day...

nikki368 · February 2011

RunningWife:

We have left him one night a month with my parents. But, he's super comfortable with them.

However, he FREAKS (like meltdown of the century) when my MIL even holds him, so I don't know if I EVER will leave him with IL's...they're wonderful people, but he must just get weird vibes from them.

This! My son has stayed the night with my parents twice. My mom offered so that we could get some sleep, and I was completely fine with it. She raised me without problem, so I have complete confidence in her and my dad. He stays with my aunt or my grandparents during the day while I'm at work, and he always does great with them.

But.. when we went to visit my inlaws in Missouri, he freaked out on them every time I left the room. My husband couldn't even calm him down. He had to be with me and that is not like him at all. Lucky for him, I guess, they are 4 hours away, so he doesn't have to see them too often.

JoannaJes · February 2011

That's funny, OP. I don't know a ton about you, but I do remember you having a strong opinion about mothers who don't have a regular babysitter back on the tri boards. You seemed to have a negative view of moms who weren't willing to leave their babies.

I guess now we don't seem so crazy, huh? At least you can admit it. : )

LCB34 · February 2011

JoannaJes:
That's funny, OP. I don't know a ton about you, but I do remember you having a strong opinion about mothers who don't have a regular babysitter back on the tri boards. You seemed to have a negative view of moms who weren't willing to leave their babies.

I guess now we don't seem so crazy, huh? At least you can admit it. : )

I *think* that if she wasn't sick I would leave her. Bit, it's really hard to feel comfortable leaving a baby that chokes and has apnea spells on a regular basis. Something about my baby not breathing with someone other than me or her dad makes me uncomfortable.

CinemaGoddess · February 2011

I've left them alone several times with DH over the last three months. DH goes out pretty much every weekend to hang out with his friends. That allows us to have some "me" time. It's important to both of us that we have that time by ourselves.

As for couple time, we're taking them to my parents house over President's Day weekend so that DH and I have some alone time and can go out and do things as a couple.

Also, as much as I love the girls and love being around them, I also think it's important that they spend time with their grandparents, even at this young age. My parents adore them and want to spend as much time as possible with them. My ILs are going through some medical issues right now but they'll take the girls once they're older and are able to do for themselves more.

I appreciate that Kate has medical issues and you don't want to leave her for long periods of time, but it is beneficial to get out and do for yourself, even if it's just to get a massage, a mani/pedi, get your hair done or do a bit of shopping. At least for me, being apart from them makes the time I'm with them more special. It also makes me a better mom because I get to "reboot", as it were, and relieve some of the stress of mommyhood.

Arielle27 · February 2011

DH watches DS by himself at lesat once a week when I go to the gym, get my hair done or see friends.

We have only left DS with a 'babysitter' (my sister in law) once, to go to dinner and drinks for DH's birthday. We would definitely leave him again if we had something we wanted to go out and do together.

JoannaJes · February 2011

LCB34:
JoannaJes:

That's funny, OP. I don't know a ton about you, but I do remember you having a strong opinion about mothers who don't have a regular babysitter back on the tri boards. You seemed to have a negative view of moms who weren't willing to leave their babies.

I guess now we don't seem so crazy, huh? At least you can admit it. : )

I *think* that if she wasn't sick I would leave her. Bit, it's really hard to feel comfortable leaving a baby that chokes and has apnea spells on a regular basis. Something about my baby not breathing with someone other than me or her dad makes me uncomfortable.

I agree. DD does the same thing. : (

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