Anyone else realizing that they have no idea what they are in for?
campbaby76
member
So last night we were putting together the crib and I just started thinking about all of the things that I don't know how to do. I have been around kids my whole life. I have 10 nieces and nephews and I work with kids everyday but last night sitting on the floor of my babies very empty room I started thinking about things:
side note- I am reading a ton and doing lot's of research but most of these things are things that I think you just have to do to figure out.
I have no idea about breastfeeding.
How the heck do you bathe a wet squirmy little thing?
What if LO get's sick, am I going to freak out?
What if my kid get's picked on? (I know that is a ways off)
What if my child won't sleep?
What if I can't handle a baby and 4 dogs?
And juggling my job and my family?
These are just a few of the "moments" that I had last night. Mind you I was not freaking out at all just sitting there on the floor and thinking about all of these things.
What are you wondering?
Re: Anyone else realizing that they have no idea what they are in for?
How am I going to handle 2?
How is ds#1 going to react?
Do I really remember what having a newborn is like?
Like you said, you figure it out as you go along.
Will I ever sleep again?
Will I miss all her important milestones because I have to go back to work?
Will she like me?
For like a month my only and biggest concern was how I was going to be able to pump while going back to work. Now I have realized that is the least of my concerns! This is a first baby for us and I think I am still in denial. You would think about trying to get pregnant for a year before it happened we would be ready, not true! I have done nothing at the house, have no daycare set up and not sure how I am going to fit all this new stuff we need into our townhome!
The main thing that is stressing me right now though is the daycare. I wasnt worried until all my coworkers started freaking me out about how I am already late on looking into this. I can not afford a center and in homes scare me too. I love my job so I am not willing to quit and neither is the hubs. Not sure what we are going to do.
I am sure tomorrow will be spent freaking out about something else, like maybe how I am actually going to take care of the alien living in my belly right now? I have never really been around babies... this should be interesting to say the least!
Honestly, you just do it. Just like when you go into labor, you roll with it and it's not as bad (usually) as you think. Balancing work and daycare and a kid, you're a mess for the first little bit and then you get a routine down, same as when you bring them home. It's hard as hell, but you learn by trial and error and if you do it "wrong" you try something else. Remember, almost nothing you do in the first few weeks is going to ruin your kid and they won't remember any of it anyway.
As for the bath, always put them in warmer than luke warm water (such lies the books tell) and never, EVER put a hungry baby in the bath. If your kid needs a bath and is close to a feeding, get it all set up, feed the baby and stick them in the bath right away. They are much more tolerant of that stuff with a full belly.
I've BTDT, and I'm still wondering about lots. How will I do this with 2? What's big brother going to think?
But, you are totally right- it's all things you just deal with and figure out as you go. It's smart to read, but don't overdo it!! That can overwhelm you in itself! You can read all about breastfeeding, but it's something you'll figure out as you experience it.
And it sounds like you are surrounded by lots of good resources (with your family), and that's so helpful!
I've BTDT and I'm freaking out.
Like, 6 years is a long time, I don't remember much about the newborn phase.
What if this baby is so totally different from DD1 that everything I thought I knew goes out the window anyway?
Will the girls like eachother?
Will DD2 have a more easy going temperament since DD1 is SO high maintenence? (haha)
Then I get into the forever away stuff;
Will they fight over clothes? Will DD1 help her little sister out in school with the kids and stuff?
AND, now that DD1 is in Kindergarten, I have all new fears for her. Will she have a lot of friends? Will she get good grades? What college is she going to want? Will she be sportsy or artsy or booksy?
Basically, it never ends. Just go with the flow.
hahah
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
I'm having a lot of anxiety about BFing. In fact, I've had two dreams about it already. I don't know why I'm fixated on this part, but so many people talk about how hard it is and how much it hurts. I'm just hoping it's not that bad for me, because it's something I really want to do.
My newest thought related to this last week is, I've been so focused on BFing, that I probably should get some formula on hand just in case...but I have no idea what kind to get???
I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. Hubby and I have been married 3 yrs and had everything planned out perfectly. We bought a new house last year and got pregnant right when we started trying and have been overjoyed. Until recently!
Don't get me wrong, I am still so excited and over-the-moon happy, but panic has set in a bit. I gotta get this thing out!? My belly looks HUGE (with still almost 2 months to go) and all that has to come out of WHERE??!?! Like a pp... I didn't think this through!
So then i talk myself down and realize that millions of women do this every day and I will be fine. Then I start thinking about once he's HERE! Like, getting him out is just step 1. I have 18 years to go!
I was such an idiot- I thought that regular (few days per week) babysitting for a preemie baby (family friend) for his first 2 years of life was enough to prepare me. I also worked as a preschool teachers aide for a few years. Now I'm wondering if I even remember how to change a diaper! And I didn't have to breastfeed those kids! Or wake up with them when they are sick at 3am!
Good luck to us all!
The good new is- our parents didn't have all the answers either. Even though I admittedly thought they did at the time! We'll figure it out
It's part of the fun of it!
I had this feeling the other day as I was opening all the parts and materials for the breast feeding pump. I'm clueless how to use it all.
I also had the "what the hell have I gotten us in to" anxiety attack the other day. The one where it firmly hits you that life as you know it is over. I know the baby will bring even greater blessings, but we have been very carefree, dining and traveling as we like, since well before we got married.
I'm not worrying too much about the learning process when it comes to things like dressing, diapers, baths, baby getting sick etc.. I have no idea what I'm getting into (does any first time mom? lol) but I trust I will have the ability to handle these things.
I'm more worried about being able to be a good mom and a good teacher once I go back to work. It stresses me out, and I'm trying not to think about it yet.
I don't know what I am doing.
We start childbirth class tomorrow. So I hope that will help. I am reading too. But I just don't know what I got myself into. I know I can do it. I just am a worrier.
DD 2.0 ~ 12/30/2013
I never held you, but I always loved you.
Baby Squirt- September 2009
Baby Turtle- May 2010
Baby Surprise- August 2011
I have no idea what I'm doing either. I mean, I grew up with younger siblings, but even taking care of them was a traumatizing experience--my mom basically abandoned me with my youngest brother when he was 2 weeks old with two directions--where the formula was, and where the diapers were. I was 17 at the time. He had special needs, but no one told me, so up until I was 25, I thought I had "done something" to make him the way he was. (My sister actually told me this; my parents just considered it something not to talk about or something I didn't need to know.) My mom went to jail when I was 20, and I ended up raising the same brother during that time (my other siblings were teens at that point).
I actually used to not even be able to be around babies because I would almost have panic attacks...
So, the thought that I'm even doing this is really scary for me. I'm really working on having "game plans" for certain situations... If I'm tired, I'll do this... If I'm frustrated, I'll do this.
But deep down, I really think everything will be okay.
At least if we're worried/freaking out, it means we're taking things seriously. If we were all ho-hum about being responsible for a human life, I think that would be greater cause for worry :-)
Mac and cheese lover!
I do worry about he whole idea of being a mother in general, will I know what to do, etc. But the thing that worries me the most is breastfeeding. I'm worried I wont be good at it, wont get the right possition, latch, etc. Or that my supply wont be enough, things like that. The other biggie that concearns me is being a new mom with all of my family 300+ miles away. The idea of not being able to call my mom to run over to help me when something goes run scares me greatly.