Frustrated with my "Do it myself" toddler
jenbowman
member
Olivia wants to dress herself which is fine but it takes FOREVER because she has trouble with things like socks, arm holes, etc. I am all for her learning how to dress herself but when she has trouble she gets frustrated and tells me not to help and throws a fit when I say I am going to. This wouldn't be a problem except now we have a newborn in the house and getting ready to go anywhere takes a long time the way it is. Then add Olivia wanting to dress herself and both of us getting frustrated and we have an unhappy mommy and toddler. I will be going back to work in 4-5 weeks and I don't want to fight with her every morning when I will be rushing around trying to make it to work on time.
Any ideas on how to still encourage her to learn to dress herself but make it so she doesn't get frustrated if I have to end up helping her? TIA
Re: Frustrated with my "Do it myself" toddler
What if you let her pick out her pants, socks, and underwear, then you pick out the shirt? We just recently bought a twin bed and dresser and I moved all her pants, socks, underwear, and undershirts into the dresser. She thinks it's fun that she is able to reach them and get them out herself. I let her pick the pants and then I just find a shirt to match. She even went in there the one day because the pants she had on were too long and she got a new pair out and changed them all by herself. My daughter gets frustrated because she can't put her shirts on by herself. I just try and make it silly and say, "that is a tricky shirt today, do you need help with that shirt?" Usually she will be like, yeah it's a tricky one, I need help mommy.
This morning it was her wanting to tie her own shoes. I let her try and then she will give up and need my help.
I remember my aunt instituting the tomorrow clothes rule when my cousins were younger. Now I realize this isn't for everyone, but she had them shower/bathe before bed and then put on their tomorrow clothes so they'd already by dressed in the morning. She did it more so they'd be on time for the school bus though since they were s-l-o-w in the morning.
You could try it though until she gets the hang of getting dressed faster. Or make it a game you play during playtime - see who can get dressed faster.
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I feel your pain! I just get dd's clothes first thing (she "helps" me pick them, I give her a couple of choices). Then I change her diaper, and hand the clothes over to her to let her do it herself, because she absolutely refuses to let me do it!
I go get ready myself, go to the bathroom, get dressed, brush my teeth, do my hair, all within ear shot of dd (our bedrooms are like 10 feet apart). If she needs my help, she'll ask. Honestly after the first week, she is able to do most of it on her own, she usually just wants me to "fix her socks",she always ends up with the seams on the bottom of her toes, which she doesn't like.
Surprisingly, she usually gets the stuff on the right way. It helps to have shirts with pictures or buttons or something on the front, so I can just say "the picture goes in front!" or whatever.
Hang in there! I imagine with a newborn in tow as well, time is sooo precious. Just imagine how nice it will be when she can just totally get herself ready
Two suggestions...
1) Get her started getting ready first. Then say, "You can do it all by yourself if you want. I will check on you in 5 minutes and give you some help if you get stuck." Set a timer if she's a visual type of kid.
2) Ask her if you can be a team...ie, you do one sleeve/sock/etc, and she does the other. Then give her a small reward as praise, like picking the first song you hear in the car.
Can you help her and then ask her to "help" you too?
DD loves to bring me my shoes/socks, etc. in teh morning.
Also - I'd bet w/ a little mroe practice before you go back to work she will probably improve.
For my DD I put her outfit out on the floor in order and the way she should put it on. The shirt, undies, pants. She doesn't try to put on her socks yet. Then I tell her I am going to finish getting ready and she can come out when she is dressed. I also tell her to call me if she has any problems. That way I don't get frustrated watching her and she does better without me standing over her.Now that I let her she doesn't always want to dress herself it has worn off but she still does probably 3-4 times out the 7 days. She comes out so proud of herself and then I do a check to make sure the pants and undies are on the right way etc.
In the beginning when she was first learning I would stay there and encourage her. Also I would do things like not tell her she was doing it wrong but say oh that silly shirt is trying to go on backwards. Don't forget shirt you want the kitty in the front. That made her feel like it was the shirts fault and not hers and it caused less problems with her getting upset. I also did the game of you put on your pants and I will put on your shirt and socks.
Good Luck! I did it with only one but I just tried let her keep trying and she got it. Now it makes my morning easier because she will get herself dressed while I get everything ready to go out the door for work and school.
Carter James