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I am sooooo over this!! (Vent/rant)

madiegirl83madiegirl83
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
So I am a bit frustrated today.  Tomorrow I should be 11 weeks, but as of last week I was measuring around 6.  We found out all of this a few weeks ago... so it's been almost a month since I found out I lost my baby.  My body still has yet to recognize... I even got a second opinion to make very sure.  So last night I started the Cytotec.  Inserted 3 pills last night and 3 more this morning.  Last night I had some cramping... worse than a period but not unmanageable.  I took some Advil and went to bed.  I passed some clots during the night.  But by this morning, nothing... no cramps, and only light bleeding.  Not even as heavy as AF.  And nothing at all has happened since I inserted the 3 pills this morning.  I am just so FRUSTRATED!  Haven't I been super patient?  Haven't I done what I was suppose to do?  So why won't my stupid body catch on to the fact that this pregnancy is not viable and pass it already?!?!  I have an appt on Wednesday and I have a sinking feeling I will have to have a D&C anyway, which I had been trying to avoid!  Grrrr... sorry for the long vent.  I am just so so so so over this already!  It's been such a nightmare and I am ready to wake up!!  Thanks for listening... I think I'll go eat some chocolate...
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker Blinkies, Glitter Graphics & more" BFP #1 12/26/06 DS born 08/08/07 BFP #2 12/16/10 EDD 08/23/11 Missed M/C ~7weeks D&C 02/04/11 BFP #3 3/11/11 4/1/10 heard HB 149!!! EDD is 11/17/11
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Re: I am sooooo over this!! (Vent/rant)

  • LDW80LDW80
    I know exactly how you feel.  I posted over in TTCAL about my frustrations with my body.  I am SO depressed about it and my DH and doctor both suggested I maybe try a low dose of antidepresants because I am so sad but I think the saddness that keeps hanging on is the fact that my body is not accepting there is NO MORE BABY IN ME.  I hope our bodies start cooperating and healing.  I am waiting for my dr. to call me back to tell me what I can do next to stop all this bleeding.  Good luck to you.  I hope you don't need a d&c but I had one and it isn't really bad physically speaking.
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    DD#1 9-4-04 *** DD#2 10-15-07
    BFP#3 10-25-10 *EDD 7/1/11 * missed m/c @ 13w3d
    BFP#4 7-30-11 *EDD 4/8/12 ~ DD#3 born 4/4/12
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  • Mejin215Mejin215 member
    I was feeling the same way you were.  I was so frustrated because my body didnt want to give up on the pregnancy.  I also took 2 doses of cytotec and it didnt work for me.  I ended up having a D&C last Thursday and if it happened again I would go right for the D&C because everything else is suck a long process.  Good luck!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BFP #1 11/18/10 EDD 7/25/11 MMC 1/7/11 D&C 1/27/11 BFP #2 8/21/11 EDD 4/29/12 DD#1 4/19/12
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  • madiegirl83madiegirl83
    Thanks ladies!  I love the support I can get on here from people who really understand what this is like!  I have a feeling that most likely I will be scheduled for a D&C on Friday after i go to my appointment on Wednesday.. On the plus side DH picked up DS from daycare today and when they came home they surprised me with flowers and ice cream. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker Blinkies, Glitter Graphics & more" BFP #1 12/26/06 DS born 08/08/07 BFP #2 12/16/10 EDD 08/23/11 Missed M/C ~7weeks D&C 02/04/11 BFP #3 3/11/11 4/1/10 heard HB 149!!! EDD is 11/17/11
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  • livinrealitylivinreality member

    I am with you.  We found out two weeks ago (at 8 weeks) that our baby did not have a heartbeat, did a follow up ultrasound last week with the same results.  We are meeting with the Dr tomorrow to go over our options, this waiting for your body to recognize what is going on is so frustrating.  I am trying to avoid a D&C but not sure how long I can handle this frustration. 

    All that to say you are not alone.  

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  • AnglWngzCTAnglWngzCT

    I totally understand what you are feeling. We found out 2 weeks ago that our pg wasn't viable. I waited so long for my body to do what is was supposed to do. The waiting took so much out of me emotionally that I just couldn't wait anymore. I had a D&C today. I am praying that I will start to finally heal. I hope you won't have to have the procedure and that your body will do what it is supposed to do.

    Have some chocolate and eat some for me too! Big hugs to you

    Lisa~ Married to Matt PCOS~ 2010, MTHFR & Factor V Leiden 10/2011 Loving Mother to 3 children and 13 angels in Heaven Baby #4 EDD 6/17/12~Became an angel 10/18/11 @ 6 weeks Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers My little one You have left us too soon Though my body can no longer hold you I hold you forever in my heart As precious and beautiful as this flower caught in time A mother's love does not forget
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  • JThomas221JThomas221

    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. This was one of the hardest parts of my m/c. I had lost the baby 3 weeks before we even found out about it, and that is the main reason I had the D&C. I felt like my body had betrayed me by holding on to the baby for so long and letting me think I was still pregnant. The D&C was just my personal choice though. I can definitely understand you wanting to avoid it. I really hope the Cytotec starts working for you soon!

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    BFP 11/23/10 MMC @ 7w3d Discovered @ 10w2d D&C 1/12/11

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  • madiegirl83madiegirl83

    Thanks again ladies.  I really wish I felt more confident in the Cytotec, but I am pretty sure it was a fail.  I mean I only had moderate cramping for like 6 hours ad only passed half a dozen clots and nothing that looked tissue-ish... Every now and then I feel a twinge-like cramp, but very mild and quickly passes... Ugh, I guess we'll see what the OB says tomorrow at my appointment.  If it didn't work we will definitely go for a D&C on Friday.

    Thanks for all the support ladies.  I am sorry we all have to go through this, but I am glad at least that if we have to, we can do it together! 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker Blinkies, Glitter Graphics & more" BFP #1 12/26/06 DS born 08/08/07 BFP #2 12/16/10 EDD 08/23/11 Missed M/C ~7weeks D&C 02/04/11 BFP #3 3/11/11 4/1/10 heard HB 149!!! EDD is 11/17/11
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