DH and I weren't trying for a baby and when we got pregnant we were shocked and excited! Well, I went in on Friday for just a routine visit and we tried to hear the heartbeat on dopler and the midwife heard no heartbeat. I then went in for an ultrasound later that day where they found a gestational sac but couldn't locate a heartbeat. They found the fetal pole and it measured about 7 weeks 6 days, I'm supposed to be close to 11. As the midwife immediately came over to the room with the ultrasound tech, I knew it was the end. The fetus passed and my body refused to recognize it. The fetal pole continued to shrink during the weekend and now only measures about 6 weeks 4 days. I'm a healthy 20 year old and can't help but wonder why. How could this happen to me? I know it's nothing I did but I can't help but feel guilty over all those days I felt like I didn't want to be pregnant because I was so miserable and all I wanted was it to be over and to be holding my child. Now those miserable days were for nothing.
I just want this fetus out of me. I feel awful for saying that but I want to feel "normal" again and I can't do that while my baby lies quiet inside my womb. I'm opting for a D&C since I can't take the waiting any longer. I hope to find strength from the women on this board who have been through this and who have felt what I am feeling.
Re: Introduction
BFP#1 11.19.10 Missed MC 01.10.11 Sam & Alex
BFP#2 05.08.11 Birthday 1.11.12 Peyton
BFP#3 06.10.12 Birthday 2.14.13-Cooper
Congrats to my buddy Ambs21! Welcome to the world Audrey!
Congrats to my buddy Mork! Welcome sweet E!
4 losses: Natural m/c 8w 1/11, CP 12/11, CP 3/12, and our perfectly healthy baby girl Charlotte Grace, missed M/C 5/31/12 at 8w5d
TTC#2 5/14, BFP 8/15/14! Beta #1 16 (11 DPO), Beta #2 71 (14 DPO) Beta #3 164 (16 DPO) Beta #4 633 (21 DPO) Beta #5 1487 (23 DPO) Heartbeat 121 bpm at 6w6d! EDD 4/25/15
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope you find strength & support on this board.
Edit - Grammar mistake!
DD#1 9-4-04 *** DD#2 10-15-07
BFP#3 10-25-10 *EDD 7/1/11 * missed m/c @ 13w3d
BFP#4 7-30-11 *EDD 4/8/12 ~ DD#3 born 4/4/12
I am so sorry for your loss. I also had a missed m/c and I had the same feeling about wanting the baby out. I opted for a D&E the day I found out my baby had no heartbeat. Don't feel bad that you are feeling that way.
I hope we are able to offer you some support here.
BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience." Let it Be (blog) ♥ My BFP Charts
This time I'm not leaving without you.