Working Moms

would you rather?

Have a job that:

had the flexibility to work at home a couple days a week, start and end the work day when you want (within reason), have a boss that doesn't care about a butt in the seat as long as your work gets done, be able to attend your kids school events during the work day occasionally, but didn't have much room for advancement and didn't make quite as much as you think you are worth

or

get paid $20k more a year to have a lot more responsibility and stress. You would still have the above benefits, but the chances of using them would be slim because of the high stress, higher profile nature of the job.

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Re: would you rather?

  • The first one. An extra 20k is great except when you are that busy and taking time away from LO its not. Also after taxes its an probably an extra 1,000 a month. Then you may need a maid because you are too busy so thats an extra 200-300 gone. It will go fast, I'd take the first one. But thats just me. 
  • depends on a few things.

    there is a big difference between $30,000 and $50,000 income... not so much if we are talking $70,000 and $90,000 so it depnds on where that $20,000 puts me.

    do you need the income?

    do you have a partner who is an active parent to share the responsibilities?

    how will you feel missing out on some of the "big events"?

    how important is your career?

     Personally, in my situation I would take the pay increase because I have a pile of student loans, a partner who I know is way more family than career oriented, and for some strange reason I feel that being a successful "working mom" is important for me as a role model for my daughter (although lately I have been feeling this urge to be a SAHM, I am super jealous that my husband is going to be a mostly SAHD for the first year).

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  • Since I would pay 44+% in taxes on everything I made, and another 8% on anything I spent, I think 20,000, would not go very far.  It really depends on the difference it would make in your lifestyle.  The difference between having retirement savings and not is huge and I would take the second job, the difference between having a European vacation and a week at Dollywood is not, and I would take the 1st job.
  • To me, it really depends on how old my kids are. If they are really young, I'd probably take the first one. If they are older, definitely the 2nd one because I worked so hard to get to where I am in my career--and I still want to continue to advance professionally.

    I also BF - so it is important to me that I am able to to pump 2-3x/day at work and not have to compromise that schedule especially that first year. I have friends who have had to quit pumping because she wasn't able to maintain a consistent pumping schedule and her supply depleted at six months. 

    But with that said, my H is extremely involved and an awesome partner and dad. We both make about the same amount of money. We split all of the chores at home and he even gets up at nights for DD. We also already live pretty comfortably without the additional $20K  and we have no debts other than our mortgages. 

    Good luck, that is a difficult choice! 

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  • Depends on how much help you get and if you can or want to learn to handle more stress. I took a more stressful job when DS was 6 months (internal job transfer), i found that i could handle stress more and can handle more at work because I learned to balance more, but DH is key for letting me advance in my career.
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  • I think it also depend son your salary. The difference between 20K and 40K is different than 120K and 140K.
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  • Wow, 20K more would be amazing, but I choose #1 because that describes my current position. Luckily I make a decent salary, more than other companies currently hiring for the same line of work. The flexibility is worth everything to me, especially since having DS.
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  • I agree with PP that it depends on your current salary and other financial issues. 

    Personally, currently, I would take #2.  Not forever but right now, it would help us out with several of our family goals.

  • The first option hands down. It seems like the best of both worlds to me. 
  • first choice.

    i went part time when i had the twins- i don't take home much $ at all, but get full time benefits + company car, that make it worth it.... I have no plans to get promoted - i want to stay in sales b/c of how great it is for my home life, too.... since having kids moving ahead in my career isn't important to me- but HAVING a career is - so this is the best of both worlds for me.

  • For me - #1.  Flexibility is most important to me right now.
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  • imageSpenjamins:
    I think it also depends on your salary. The difference between 20K and 40K is different than 120K and 140K.

    Exactly.

    I'm making less than 40K and DH is already going to be staying home full-time. I don't think there would be a way for me to turn option 2 down even if I didn't want to do it. 

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  • Yes This! I was actually in a very similar situation a few weeks ago and I chose part-time, flexibility, and my family.

    imageluvmagoldn:
    For me - #1.  Flexibility is most important to me right now.
  • imageshannm:

    I agree with PP that it depends on your current salary and other financial issues. 

    Me too.  Though we could definitely use $20,000 I would probably still choose #1 as that is basically what I have now and I love, love, love the flexibility!  It really does keep me sane.  

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  • I would pick #1 hands down and would actually take a 20k pay cut to have it!!!
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  • Option #1
    My best friend, my husband, my everything
    Matthew Kevin
    7/31/83-7/20/11 image
    Met 1/8/00
    Engaged 4/21/06
    Married 9/29/07
    Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
    Day Three
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