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Drug/Alcohol Exposure to Infant
Hello. I hope you can answer this question. DH and I are considering using Adoptions Together as our agency. Adoptions Together mentioned that half of the infants they placed last year had some drug/alcohol exposure. My question is - how much exposure is harmful to the point where it cannot be fixed? A friend of mine has expressed her concerns to me about adopting an infant with fetal alchohol syndrome. I realize that it is highly unrealistic to expect absolutely no drug or alchohol exposure. How do my DH and I ensure that the infant will be able to overcome the effects of exposure? Or is there simply no guarantee? Please advise. Thanks so much 
zanymermaid
The Chick Who Loves Lit
The Chick Who Loves LitThis discussion has been closed.
Re: Drug/Alcohol Exposure to Infant
There is no guarantee.
But do your research to see what you're comfortable with. Your family dr or pediatrician can give you some feedback, and there are some resources out there (can't remember if the FAQ has any links).
Everyone has their own comfort level, and after your research you have to decide on what works for you. We were comfortable with social drinking before the BM knew she was pregnant, or even an occasional drink later on. But it's tricky, in that you'll have to believe whatever information on drug/alcohol use is shared. We were placed with a baby whose BM didn't even know she was pregnant, so she had gone out for happy hour off and on during her pregnancy, and had no prenatal care. But you know, it was sort of a crap shoot. DD is fine, but she could have just as easily suffered from no prenatal care and some alcohol. It's a risk you take.
I agree with Dr L. You will have to do some research with an MD. There is a diffence between the odd drink now and then, drinking a little everyday, and getting wasted every weekend.
Our youngest DS was prenatally exposed to tobacco and marijuana...at least that is all mom admitted to/ was tested for. We don't know what else she may have taken. He does have ADHD and Tourette's Syndrome but after studying both we discovered that there is a genetic link to both and the substance exposure may have "pushed him over the edge " so to speak but probably didn't "cause" either. his conditions are fairly mild and managed with meds but I will freely admit if we had know before hand, we might have thought twice about taking him as a foster child ( we were very ignorant of what could happen) . By the time he was available for adoption, he had lived with us for 2 yrs, he had yet to be diagnosed ,and we were already completely in love and coping with his behavior. (We knew he was different than most other kids but it wasn't so bad we were ready to give up)
PAL/PGAL Welcome
Both of my LOs were born addicted to drug (Rx pills - opiates and benzos). They both spent a month in the NICU (one was 41 weeks and the second was 32 weeks). Each drug can have many effects on children. As the saying goes - every baby is different. Every drug exposed baby is different
Definite do some research on ALL cases and all drugs. What happens to one drug exposed baby may not happen to the next.
Research research research
The FAQ section at the top right of this board has a few resources.
You need to decide your threshold as a family. Don't let friends or family cause you undue stress or fear. It's about education and discussion in your immediate family household.
This board is also a good resource for antecdotal information and support as you make these decisions.
ITA. If it were worded more like, "we don't know what the lower limit of 'safe' is, so no drug/alcohol use is better than some", I would agree with that.
1. research, talk with experts and those who are experienced (ie: Fredalina) to find out what your comfort level is.
2. not all agencies are the same - this is certainly an area that one would question the agency about. Some agencies require drug testing, some not. Some agencies may have a higher rate of BM with drug addiction but some agencies might not (it all depends on location of agency, how big/small they are, where they advertise for BM, etc).
3. Another thing to consider is that most (?) agencies do not drug test birth mothers and just go by what the BM or medical records state. It is very possible to be placed into a match and not learn until birth (when testing is commonly done on both BM and baby) if at the time of birth drugs are present but it doesn't necessarily give you an indication about what the baby might have been exposed to earlier in the pregnancy.
We had concerns in the beginning too about how open we really wanted to be. In the end, we chose a limited amount of exposure. But this is the same for medical history/genetics as well - we were scared but we worked through it and found what was right for us. You will too ;-)