D.C. Area Babies

my in-law vent-NBR (long sorry)

Here's the backstory - MIL is forever and a day accusing DH and BIL1 of leaving BIL2 out. He is much younger than DH and BIL1. For example, for DH's bachelor party, BIL2 was only 14 and MIL was trying to convince BIL1 to have the party at Dave and Busters so that BIL2 could come. That wasn't exactly what DH had in mind! They ended up taking BIL2 to dinner with them and then dropping him off with me so that they could go to bars like normal adults for the bachelor party. Then MIL called me and yelled at me for "letting them do that to poor BIL" and DH got an ear full from her for weeks afterwards. 

I should also add that MIL doesn't like me or her other DIL. She has hated every girl BIL2 has dated so far.  

DH's 30th birthday is coming up so for the last six months BIL1 and I have been planning a surprise trip to Vegas for him. Tickets are paid for, hotel is book and his best friend and two of his cousins that he grew up with have been invited. BIL2 is too young to go unfortunately. He is also in college and it would be right before his finals. BIL1 and I figured it wasn't that big of a deal because they aren't super close anyways. It's just a birthday, not his wedding day. MIL thinks people who drink alcohol and gamble are the devil so I know she would not approve of this trip. 

 A couple nights ago BIL1 called me to let me know that MIL had called him about planning a "surprise" ski trip for DH for his 30th birthday. The people invited on this ski trip would be her, FIL, DH and BILs. He told her that he didn't think that was a very good idea and that she should check with me before planning anything. Her response was "I don't need to check with her to plan my own son's birthday, it doesn't involve her". Um, EXCUSE ME? I am his WIFE lady, not you. So BIL1 told her he wasn't going along with her plan and he'd talk to BIL2 himself about other plans. 

We will see my ILs this weekend and I'm certain she is going to put on her syrupy sweet fakeness and tell me how "special" it would be to be with her baby on his birthday. And how "special" it would be for him to spend his birthday with his brothers. DH does not get along with her at all because she is an obnoxious crazy person and I can't imagine anyone who he'd want to see less on his birthday. I can't tell her about the trip because I know she'll turn around and tell DH what his awful sinner of a wife is planning for him and throw a fit that BIL2 can't go. This is going to be a long 3 months. Thanks for letting me whine. 

Married 7.9.05
DD1 9.24.06
DS 7.1.08
twins due 9.7.11 lost twin A at
DD2 4.7.12

Re: my in-law vent-NBR (long sorry)

  • Yikes, that sounds like a mess!  Good luck staying sane and keeping the wackiness (i.e. your MIL) at bay!
  • Hey, I'm about to post an in-law vent too - today is in-law vent day!  (Did you see jitterbug's posts on the regular DC Nest board - she dodged a bullet - almost had her in-laws move in with her!!!)

    Here's to surviving sucky in-laws!  Drinks

    Wife, Musician, Fed, WW-er, and Mom of three little kids - not necessarily in that order.
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  • Oh my. I don't know if you're looking for advice, but here's what I'd do: Tell her you're already planning a surprise for DH for his birthday that wouldn't work with a ski trip, and unfortunately you're really far along with planning it, so it can't be changed. Be as vague as possible and don't tell her what the surprise is. If she pesters you, tell her you don't want to risk anyone "accidentally" spilling the beans.

    Did you ask BIL2 if he wants to come? If you're sure he'll say no, you may as well ask (assuming you haven't already). It may make you look better.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • I would tell MIL you already have something booked and make it seem something along the lines of "husband-wife-only" - very romantic and noone else is invited. Sounds like your MIL would be turned away if you start using words like "sex" hehehe

    be as vague as possible but make sure to make lots of innuendos that would make MIL realize anyone else attending is out of the question

    later, you can always say you changed your mind or whatever

    and I would not mention any of this to the too-young BIL#2

     

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