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daycare/nanny

cookiemonster03cookiemonster03
in LGBT Parenting
So it occurred to me this morning it is time to look into this more seriously. Multiples mamas, do you think it is worth looking for infant care? I imagine it will be next to impossible to get two ir three infants in an affordable center we are comfortable with at once. I am thinking we will need to look into nannies. Thoughts? How early does one look for nannies?
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Re: daycare/nanny

  • 2brides2brides member

    We made a half hearted attempt at looking for day care. We looked at a few in home places that had space for 2 infants, but didn't like any of them and decided on a nanny. You can't really start looking for a nanny until about 6-8w before you want them to start since most nannies are looking for something soon. If you want a day care, start calling around now to see what they say.

    There are pros and cons of having a nanny. We got lucky our first go round and got a great nanny who became like part of our family. She adored the boys and was wonderful with them. She was with us for 3y until she moved out of state to live with her boyfriend.  The second nanny wasn't great. She always seemed low energy (which is exactly opposite of how she was in our interview) and we really had to prod her to do structured activities with the kids every once in awhile (they were 3y 3m.) She lasted 5 weeks before she quit saying the commute was too long - mind you we didn't move.

    The cons are that you have someone basically living in your house 10 hrs a day. Our first nanny - as wonderful as she was with the kids - wasn't known for her cleaning skills. There was often food left in their highchair, counters were sticky, etc. It didn't bother me as much (since it was a quick 5 minute clean up), but drove L crazy (she is very clean.)  And when the nanny is sick/out of town/etc you are left in a lurch. For us it wasn't too often - but a difference since daycares don't close.  And the biggest con was financial. Nannys are costly. If you do it correctly, you have to pay taxes on your nanny. We used this site to do our nanny taxes/payroll. You can register free online to get an estimate of what you would pay. https://www.4nannytaxes.com/calculator/

    In the end, I am glad we did a nanny for the first 3y. It was great not to have to stay home with every cold/etc (of course we stayed home with significant illnesses), because they weren't around other kids, they didn't get sick as much, and it was great not to have to pack everyone up and out the door in the morning. But I will have to say not having that nanny bill, is awesome. We now pay 1/2 of what we paid our nanny for private full time preschool.

    I have a sample contract if you are interested.

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  • cookiemonster03cookiemonster03
    This is great info!! I am probably going to call around to some day cares for rates and think about waiting lists, but I always wonder if the cost of infant care will be about the same as a nanny, without the drop off issues. I think if we went that route we'd go to day care around 2 yrs.
    house and running and stuff bab(ies) Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • norika33norika33

    We started looking for daycare around 5mo preg, for 2 infants, since we knew it would be hard and E and I worked in two separate cities in different directions, so we wanted someplace in the middle. Yes, it was next to impossible to get two infant openings into daycare that we could afford. We found a woman who did daycare in her home and had twin experience that we were going to use, but in the end E resigned from her job so she's staying home with the kids.

    I echo the PP re. nannies- we didn't really look too closely into it, so I would go with what she said re timing.

    Good luck!

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  • thiswillbethiswillbe

    In terms of daycare centers, it is definitely a good idea to start looking now. And by looking I mean not just calling around and checking out websites, but going to visit daycare centers you are interested in.

    Once you see places in person you'll get a better sense of what is available in your area and how much you can expect to pay for a center that is acceptable to you. We *never* thought we'd pay over $3k a month for daycare for 2 kids, so we didn't even put our names on the waiting list at the daycare at work (also we were planning to go the nanny route). Fast forward 10 months and we are *thrilled* to finally be getting them in there-- it ends up being only slightly more expensive than the daycare they're at now, and the convenience and gas savings more than make up for the tiny difference in cost.

    Also, I'd say even if you are planning to go with a nanny, have a back-up plan in place (e.g. a "top 3" list of your favorite daycares). We had everything in place to start the kiddos with a nanny when we both went back to work (we took back-to-back maternity leaves). Then the weekend before they would have started with the nanny, Peanut had a really bad episode that landed her in the hospital. On the day of the episode it was clear that we needed more than one person watching them (I actually had that thought as I was putting her on the ground to start CPR, thankful that S was there too so she could tend to DS while I was helping DD). We had to scramble to find a daycare with immediate openings for two, and I wished I'd had a short list to work from.

    GL! And remember to breathe. It will all work out. :)

    married 03/08/08 -- ttc with PCOS (dx 2005) & DS
    IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
    Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
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    finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
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