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Sometimes it would help if everyone gave each other the benefit of the doubt...

LovingStepMomLovingStepMom member
in Blended Families

I haven't ever been on this board...and this is my first time.  I am 36 weeks pregnant and the step mother of two little girls.  Yesterday BM started her "stuff" again...unfortunately, she is a miserable person and loves to pour that misery onto others.  It's really sad actually. 

Anyway...regardless of her misery (which is pretty common now)...I wish I wasn't as sensitive as I am right now.  It's actually around 4 AM here and I can't sleep because of the argument DH and I got into.  I hate this.

Why can't people all just give each other the benefit of the doubt?  It's amazing how angry, mad and sad we all become instead of trying to work as a unit.  Sometimes I am just tired of it.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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Re: Sometimes it would help if everyone gave each other the benefit of the doubt...

  • PhantomgirlPhantomgirl member

    I agree - this was an issue for us over the weekend.  

    SS called at 5.30 on Friday eve and asked DH to take him to soccer practice at 6.15pm (DH had just got home so had to turn around and go back into town without having dinner).  DH told him he would call him back in 5 mins.  He got off the phone and flipped out.  BM had wanted to change the visitation schedule and he had said no so he assumed she was trying to force it.  Also she signed him up for soccer with this team.  DH was adamant he was not doing it and he was going to call her and 'put her straight'.  I told him to calm down and give her the benefit of the doubt.  I asked him to just take SS to practice without a word.  I told him if it continued for a few weeks THEN he should 'put her straight'.  

    Anyhow - turns out BMs friends father passed away and she simply wanted to go to the hospital and needed his help.

    They both drive me crazy, she can't simply call and explain, he assumes she is the devil.   Grrr - communication people, it could all be so easy.

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  • CurlyQ284CurlyQ284 member
    My DH and BM used to fight all the time. I was just a girlfriend so I didn't get involved before. Each was convinced the other was just trying to get money out of them, they'd fight to try to make the other parent drive the whole way for visitation. After we got engaged I got involved. DH and BM were arguing about exchanging the kids for the wedding. DH was trying to get BM to drive them to our house because he had wedding stuff to do. She was pissed. I said "DH, its not fair to make her take off work and drive 12 hours for her ex-husbands wedding...." BM said "OMG THank you!" DH realized he was being a d-bag and we came to a reasonable compromise. We all get along now, and we all give.each other the benefit of the doubt but I think I'm the referee. Its much smoother and less stressful now and we give each other a lot of leeway because no one wants to go back to the way things were.
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