Can I b!tch for a second? This could get long.
I know I've complained about it before - but I have to get this off my chest before I wind up saying something nasty at work.
The background: I have co-worker due the week after me. She is also pgal (but nowhere near this board or I'd stop here!). She decided months ago that she wasn't coming back after her leave and in the meantime, was going to "short time" us. I can't say I blame her - our bonuses and raises are apparently not affected by our work. She told our manager that she wasn't going to be able to put in the hours she usually works in January because she is 7 months pg. I am just over 36 weeks right now. (She still has not told them she is not coming back). I was asked to take over 4 of her clients and have gotten several new HUGE ones this month.
January is our BUSIEST month and got even busier this year. I have put in 208 BILLABLE hours so far this month and I have 2 days of time I haven't entered and there's still tomorrow. I have not taken even ONE day off. I have put in 240 hours including non-billable time. That is nearly a hundred hours over what I normally put in and is on par with what the rest of our group billed. I'd be surprised is pg co-worker billed even close to 150 combined.
The issue: Our manager is not a fan of pg co-worker and told another co-worker a few motnhs back that there would be no showers for us at work because, while she wouldn't mind doing something for me, she doesn't want to do anything for pg co-worker. Fine. I was upset, but got over it. There is nothing that I need for this baby, but I'd have enjoyed an hour of cupcakes and punch. Mind you - I have arranged the showers (2 baby and 1 wedding) for all the others in our group over the last several years AND footed the balance of the bills when they were short. Whatever.
I was planning on having my last day of work before leave on Feb. 11, even though they can put us on disability 2 weeks before anticipated date of delivery, which would be Feb. 8.
Well, this past Wednesday I get an invite to a shower at work for pg coworker - put on by our manager and another co-worker (who's wedding shower I did last year). On the 11th. That really stung and hurt my feelings.
I emailed the other co-worker and told her that I decided my last day was going to be the 8th and that I wouldn't be able to make the shower. We're pretty close and talked about it, but the manager is adamant about only having the shower for the co-worker - who in all honesty - dumped a whole bunch of work on us and made the past month hell. The manager won't give any reason as to why I'm not included, only to say that they'll get me "a small something" - which at this point just sounds like an afterthought.
Of course my co-worker didn't even say thank you when the invites went out - just wanted to make sure her husband was invited. And no - there's no surprise in the works. We don't work that way and you sure as sh!t don't jump out and surprise someone 3 weeks before their due date.
I don't even know how to handle this. I don't want to say anything, but my feelings are just *hurt*.
I've had my own issues outside of work - REALLY don't want a shower because I don't think they are necessary for 2nd babies and DH went behind my back and arranged something with one of my friends because I've been so depressed (18 months of pregnancy will do that to you!).
Is there anything you would do or say? It's the BLATANT fact that this is completely unbalanced that pisses me off and hurts the most.
Goblin Gallup 5k 10/30/11 - 36:46
Turkey Trot 5k 11/24/11 - 35:14
Festival of Lights 5k 12/31/11 - 33:13
Love the Run You're With 5k 2/13/12 - 31:58
Backyard Burn 5 miler 3/11/12 - 1:08:42
Cherry Blossom 10 Miler 4/1/12 - 1:58:22
Wine Country HF 6/2/12 - TBD
Spartan Race 8/25/12 - TBD
Re: Can I b!tch for a second? This could get long.
That sucks!! Honestly, I'd be totally PO'd if I were in your situation. If the manager really doesn't like your co-worker, why is s/he backpedaling and now doing a shower for her? It's kind of the principal of the thing, even if you don't feel you want or need a shower yourself since it's a 2nd child, and I'd feel like it was a slap in the face.
I belong to a professional organization and the head of the group is expecting a baby later this year. Admittedly, she's had her share of challenges getting to this point (she has an older child but has had several losses in between), but it was like everyone was falling over backwards to coordinate the purchase of a baby gift for her. Meanwhile, no one was acknowledging my pg OR the pg of a paid staff person who manages the day-to-day operations of the group. I told another friend of mine, I didn't care about me. BUT even if I weren't pg, I'd be hugely embarrassed if, at a recent meeting, they presented a baby gift to the head person while another person (or in this case two) are due literally 2 months sooner but are completely overlooked. You just don't do that. (FWIW, I didn't go to the meeting/participate and they did end up supposedly doing something "small" for the staff person, but again, it's the principle of the thing and no matter how you cut it, it's rude.)
I think I'd almost be tempted to confront your manager if I were you. Ask point blank why the backpedal, especially when said co-worker isn't pulling her share. If not before your maternity leave, then after...when it's obvious that you'll be returning and she isn't.
Goblin Gallup 5k 10/30/11 - 36:46
Turkey Trot 5k 11/24/11 - 35:14
Festival of Lights 5k 12/31/11 - 33:13
Love the Run You're With 5k 2/13/12 - 31:58
Backyard Burn 5 miler 3/11/12 - 1:08:42
Cherry Blossom 10 Miler 4/1/12 - 1:58:22
Wine Country HF 6/2/12 - TBD
Spartan Race 8/25/12 - TBD
Goblin Gallup 5k 10/30/11 - 36:46
Turkey Trot 5k 11/24/11 - 35:14
Festival of Lights 5k 12/31/11 - 33:13
Love the Run You're With 5k 2/13/12 - 31:58
Backyard Burn 5 miler 3/11/12 - 1:08:42
Cherry Blossom 10 Miler 4/1/12 - 1:58:22
Wine Country HF 6/2/12 - TBD
Spartan Race 8/25/12 - TBD
6/14/10 BFP; 6/30/10 Dx ectopic
11/16/10 BFP #2; DD born 7/26/11
That is so so crappy - I'm sorry! I'm surprised that they aren't planning some kind of covert operation. Like maybe you're getting invited to the other shower but it's really for both of you? I just can't believe they would be so blatantly unbalanced about the whole thing....
I don't have any advice really. I'm not sure I would say anything though, because despite how unfair it all is, I wouldn't want them to think I was being petty or bitter because someone else was getting something I wasn't (even though I would totally feel bitter if I were in that situation because it really is unfair!)