Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Baby Wise Method

After attachment parenting has left me exhausted with a baby that snacks on the breast every 2hrs, is fussy, doesnt sleep well unless being held, and doesnt seem "happy" I have decided to try something different before I lose it... At 10 weeks she shouldnt be this way

Today is day 2 of the Baby Wise Method. I'm trying to get DD on a 2 1/2hr feeding schedule. I'm pretty confident she's getting plenty to eat since now I'm massaging the milk down as she eats and keeping her awake at the breast. We have awake time for about 30-45 min. I put her down for a nap, she cries for about 10 min & then falls asleep. Almost to the minute she is up and crying 30min later EVERYTIME! I check on her and give her about 10 min to see if she'll fall back asleep before I pick her up burp her, check her diaper and put her back down. She hasnt been able to get back to sleep after that and I know shes soooo tired because I really have to work with her to keep her awake for the next feeding. 1.When she wakes up before her next feeding should I pick her up and have awake time until she feeds again or should I keep doing what I'm doing??? (CIO, which is killing me) 2. If she should happen to fall back asleep, should I let her sleep or wake her for the next feeding? I am inclined to let her sleep. The book does not give these senarios in the problem solving section. :(

If you have used this method please help! I know it takes time but I'm open to suggestions..... Thank you

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Re: Baby Wise Method

  • My advise is get rid of that awful book! It is the first book that the APA recommended against due to infants being diagnosed with failure to thrive. And your baby is way too young to cry it out. I know it is hard but you have to just get through it and provide for your baby's needs. It will get better. Try The No Cry Sleep Solution which I have used or The Baby Whisperer which I've heard good things about.
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  • Unfortunately my advice is to just tough it out. If she needs to be held to get a decent amount of sleep, so be it. 10 weeks is still very young and way too young to CIO. I agree with PP that Babywise is probably the worst (IMO) method of sleep training. Also, eating every 2 hours is normal.
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  • I am flexibly following Babywise, but have you looked at babywisemom.com?  She has lots of helpful ideas, info that isn't covered in the book...

    Maybe her awake time is too long, and that's why she's waking from her nap (she's overtired).  How long is she up for including feeding time? This happened with my son...I was keeping him up for about 90 minutes (including feeding time) and his optimal awake time is really somewhere around 70 minutes.  You may have to experiment to find that right amount of awake time, but generally when I see his first sleep cue (yawn, fuss, etc.)  I start swadding him and rocking him to sleep.  on the above website it gives general guidelines for awake times by age.

     I don't do CIO, it's one of the things I disagree with about Babywise.  When DS wakes early from a nap I rock him and try to get him back to sleep...if he's not having that I start his next "eat, awake, sleep" cycle early (I never withhold feeding him if he's hungry to stay on the schedule) and we've had no problems returning to his routine after that. I also let him sleep longer than usual sometimes if I feel he needs it.  I think the biggest thing is to try to get her into a general routine first, don't ignore your instinct just to stay on "schedule" ykwim?  Hope that helps!!

  • I agree with pp, the first thing you should do is get rid of that book.  10wks is too early for scheduled feedings and definitely way too early to CIO.  Try The Baby Whisperer, that's a great book that tells you how to get baby going in a good routine and help with sleep/naps.

    Also, if she's waking at exactly 30mins. then she's overtired.  Try putting her down a little earlier.

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  • I like the feeding schedule the book recommends, but we didn't even start sleep training or letting DS CIO until he was six months old. And even then he didn't really truly CIO. He'd cry for about ten minutes then I'd go in, pick him up, soothe him and put him back down, then repeat until he fell asleep. It took two or three days of this and then he would go down without crying for more than a minute or two. He's 18 months old now and has been STTN since six months and he puts himself to sleep. So just because you don't start sleep training right away doesn't mean you won't be able to later.

     

    I'd say just trust your instincts and learn to "read" YOUR baby. If after 30-45 minutes of awake time your LO doesn't seem tired, then don't put her down until you start seeing her tired cues. And if you don't want to let her CIO, then don't:)!

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  • imageBrittKav:
    Unfortunately my advice is to just tough it out. If she needs to be held to get a decent amount of sleep, so be it. 10 weeks is still very young and way too young to CIO. I agree with PP that Babywise is probably the worst (IMO) method of sleep training. Also, eating every 2 hours is normal.
    I completely agree. She's too little to be scheduled and CIO. For us, we swaddle for naps and bed, rock to sleep, put him down. If he cries- repeat. If he just won't sleep, we hold him- like I am right now! I try to go for a 3 hr feeding "schedule", but if he's hungry I feed him!!!
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  • ditto PPs eating every 2 hours in a 10 week old is totally normal.  if she is hungry, feed her.
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  • Is she drowsy when you put her to sleep?  Have you tried swaddling?  Does she take a pacifier to soothe her for that 10 minutes?  I use all 3 of those methods.  It seems that you are giving her a full feeding and its good she doesn't sleep on the breast. 

    I'm following BW loosely too and did for DS#1.  I don't think it's an awful book (I don't really understand the controversy) and by 2 mos my DS was STTN in long stretches.

    DS#2 is on his own very regimented 3 hour cycle to.the.minute so we'll see how it goes as he wakes up for longer periods of time.  He is only a little over a week so I'm not letting him CIO or not feeding of course.

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  • I'm sorry, but I totally don't agree with Babywise. My babies eat and sleep when they want to.  Also, I do whatever it takes for them to sleep well.  Did that with DD and she sleeps like a dream.
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  • Do you have a Moby?  DS takes really long naps when I wear him around the house (2 hours).  Still attachment parenting but you can get a lot done with wearing him.  Sounds like your baby is overtired.  Do you have a bedtime routine?  And I agree with pp, too young to CIO.  The other books suggested are great.  Read some other methods and see if they work for your LO.


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  • After I feed her for 30-40min, we have awake time until she shows signs of being tired (yawning, rubbing eyes, etc) Unfortunetly she hates the paci, always has. I just gently rocked her to sleep while swaddled with arms out. Wish me luck and thank you for not making me feel like a bad mother. This is my 1st child, I'm learning and doing the best I can.

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  • You are not a bad mother at all.  There are several books out there to help with sleep issues.  My favorite is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.  It is very helpful in understanding infant sleep.  Ultimately it all comes down to trial and error, but you should also research lots of methods to find one that you are comfortable with.  Good luck.

    (sorry my first post wasn't helpful... Embarrassed)

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  • I like Babywise...I do not think the book tells you to let them CIO. It says that it's ok to let them "cry." Not to pick them up immediately every single time. It clearly says to learn your babies cries and go from there. It also says if they're hungry, feed them, period.

    This book has taught me to distinguish between all of my son's different cries. He does great on the schedule. Does he follow it every single time? No, there are definitely times he wakes up before he is scheduled to. If he cries and I can tell he's hungry, of COURSE I feed him, regardless of the time.

    Basically, everyone has a different opinion. If you like it, and it works for you, do it.

    To answer your original question---don't stick to the routine just for routine's sake. If your baby wants to eat, feed them just as the book says to.

    HTH!

     

  • imagenursedevivo:

    I like Babywise...I do not think the book tells you to let them CIO. It says that it's ok to let them "cry." Not to pick them up immediately every single time. It clearly says to learn your babies cries and go from there. It also says if they're hungry, feed them, period.

    This book has taught me to distinguish between all of my son's different cries. He does great on the schedule. Does he follow it every single time? No, there are definitely times he wakes up before he is scheduled to. If he cries and I can tell he's hungry, of COURSE I feed him, regardless of the time.

    Basically, everyone has a different opinion. If you like it, and it works for you, do it.

    To answer your original question---don't stick to the routine just for routine's sake. If your baby wants to eat, feed them just as the book says to.

    HTH!

     

    this. My boys were preemies so I couldn't start it too soon and I def think it's misfollowed... I'm also a first time mom and learning quickly I just have to learn by trial.
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  • I like baby wise. Here's a great blog from a mom that uses (and used) it for her 3 kids: The index on there is great.

    https://www.babywisemom.com/

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  • imagesanjose78:

    After I feed her for 30-40min, we have awake time until she shows signs of being tired (yawning, rubbing eyes, etc) Unfortunetly she hates the paci, always has. I just gently rocked her to sleep while swaddled with arms out. Wish me luck and thank you for not making me feel like a bad mother. This is my 1st child, I'm learning and doing the best I can.

    Definitely not a bad mom. We're all just trying to do what we think is best for our kids and keep our sanity at the same time. It's a balancing act, and we probably won't have it figured out until it's too late. Until then I think you should just do what feels right. If letting her CIO isn't working for you, then don't do it. 

    Maybe start little, getting her to fall asleep in your arms, then put her down. If she wakes up pat her back or something but don't pick her up? idk... 

  • First of all, I understand your frustration. It's hard getting to know these little people that we are in charge of taking care of.

    If I were you, I'd put away all of the baby books for a while and just focus on what you feel your LO needs. Really focus on learning your LO's cues. If you are able to put yourself in your baby's shoes, it can make things so much easier.

    Stop looking at book to tell you what to do with your LO. Deep down, you probably already know what they need. If doing CIO is hard for you, then that means that you and your LO are not ready for it. Don't do something just because a book tells you that you should. When we sleep trained DS with CIO at 10.5 months, it was the easiest thing in the world. He cried for 5 minutes, and that was it. I truly feel it was that easy because I followed my instincts and waited until I felt DS was ready instead of following a book.

    P.S. There is a middle ground between full-on attachment parenting and Babywise.

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