TTC After a Loss

Why does **** like this happen?

A friend of my husband's just lost his baby this week.  Their baby just stopped breathing, and resuscitation was only partly successful.  He was removed from life support the next day.  This breaks my heart, as this was such an amazing couple who did every single thing right.  They don't deserve this.  If you could spare some thoughts and prayers for this family, it would be more appreciated than you know.

I've supported people through miscarriages, but this is new territory for me.  I know that when they need support the most will be a few months, when everyone thinks they should have moved on.  What else can I do?  I just feel so helpless.  Days like today make me wish I had a magic wand, so I could bring their baby back to them.  So I could bring everyone's babies back to them. 

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Re: Why does **** like this happen?

  • T&P for them. That's heartbreaking.
    m/c 7/17/10
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    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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  • My husband lost his first daughter to SIDS years ago.  All he needed was a shoulder to lean on and someone to talk to who is willing to just listen.  The guilt they feel is unimaginable, and there will be soo many ''what if?''s  Just ask them if they need anything, at all.  My husband has more recently opened up about it, and he said one of the hardest parts was, it being right after xmas, there were baby things all over the place.  A constant reminder of what they'd lost.  Some people find comfort in these things, but it saddened and angered him to have all those things everywhere.
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  • How terrible!  I can't imagine what they are going through.  As you said, miscarriage it a different game....T&Ps to them. 
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  • Oh my goodness, that is just so terrible, so very sad. Thoughts and prayers to them.
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  • Oh my god. I am so sorry.  They are in my prayers.

     Danielle

  • ((hugs)) T&Ps for them

    I know how hard it is.. my 12th Grade english teacher lost her 4 month old to SIDS.. we all felt so hopeless.. just be there for them, let them lean on you for support. That is one of the biggest things they need right now

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  • I can't even imagine getting that far, having a beautiful baby to hold and then losing it.... it's awful and I don't understand how things like that happen.

    I think just knowing that you're there for them will give them some comfort.  


    BFP#1: 7/23/10, EDD 4/1/11, MC/DNC 9/29/10(14wks) Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • My heart is just breaking.  NO ONE deserves that.  My T&P's are with them.

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  • That is just awful.  Please let this family know that they have people across the US praying for them.  God Bless this family.
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  • That is so heartbreaking.  I will be thinking of them.

    If you are in their area, anything you could do to make their lives easier would be appreciated, I'm sure (bringing food, etc.)

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  • (((hugs))) Lots of T&P to them.


    BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
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  • That is heartbreaking... lots of T&P for the family during this time
    BFP #1 04/05/10 EDD 12/11/10 Missed M/C 7w found out at 12w5d You're so missed LO BFP #2 11/27/10 EDD 08/07/11.. Diagnosed with IC 03/17/11 Cerclage put in place 03/21/11 Madilynn Mae born 7/26/11
  • I will definitely lift them in prayer.

    I think you probably know more than any else what they are going through, even though your situations were somewhat different.  You know that the hurt doesn't go away, that people say insensitive things, and that sometimes you just need someone to cry with.  

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  • Broken Heart This breaks my heart. My T&Ps are with the family. I just can't even imagine...
    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
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  • Very, incredibly sad and tragic. T&Ps for them.
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  • How heartbreaking. Lots of T&Ps to them. 
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  • That is so sad.  Sending lots of T&Ps their way. 
    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

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  • I can't even imagine...That is so horrible and sad.  In terms of doing something, the things that stood out to me most were the people who brought meals (if they live close enough) and the people who continued to send cards and notes after the initial wave of cards slowed/stopped.  You are right, in a few months, people will begin to think about other things when that poor family is still thinking about their devastating loss.  Those cards and notes helped me remember that people were still thinking of us and our sweet boy.  T&P to that family.
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • Ladies, thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers for them.  I really appreciate the advice you've given me, it really means a lot.
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  • So sad! They will be in my thoughts and prayers as they struggle through this! I can not even imagine!
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